The mind is a dangerous place and as a former hopeless nihilist I feel I have earned the right to say that. The worst part about thoughts is that they don’t stop. It can be torturous to spend a single protracted moment in your mind when every thought is weaponized in some way to be destructive. The psychological degradation brought on by a depressed mind is exhausting. Every thought drags you deeper into the pit until your mental breaks and you give up.
I was lucky enough to break this seemingly endless loop by repressing emotion and taking away meaning and depth from every emotional outlet. My past statement of being a former nihilist was a lie, however I am no longer a hopeless nihilist. I’m just a person who copes with stress and anxiety by believing nothing should make me stressed or anxious because it lacks meaning and worth. I understand this might not sound like a valid process of thoughts as people will question my morals around every corner, however, I assure you, I have decent morals. As well as many other decent qualities. Greatest of all though, the biceps. The biceps s h r e d, and that among other things boost my dopamine levels giving me dreams and ambitions to quickly acquire. Finding something, anything interesting would lead me to want to try, learn, and quit. However some dreams in my head take a long time to learn. These thoughts of my future give me ambition to live an active and fulfilling life. I found reason along the ashes of self destruction.
So I just bough myself a car, I only had to pay half but it ended up to coming out to $2250. Which is almost all of my savings. I currently have a balance of $2500(pre-payment). It’s a pretty sick car but insurance for me is gonna be about 620 and I do not have that. Like I have to pay insurance as soon as I get my license which will hopefully be tomorrow. So basically I am in an incredible amount of debt to my parents. Basically the majority of my paychecks, which are low because the restaurant has been closed a lot so I havent been able to get good hours. I mean the head chef walked out of the kitchen and just left, and quit i guess, without telling anyone. We legit had to close that night, it was frickin awful. and The other day the fridge went out in the middle of the night due to a power outage, so all of the food was spoiled. It was bad. Anyway hopefully we wont have anymore bad luck but I guess we’ll see. Until then I’m broke.
The events in this story happened after my last story’s events so I suggest you read that one first. After I had healed from jumping into the hot tub. It was a rainy day in my home town, so my PE class was being held in the school gym instead of on the field where it usually was held. We got there and were instructed to take our shoes off so that we didn’t get the floor of the gym wet and slippery, this was a big mistake in my opinion because I kept my socks on. We were doing fun things like dodgeball and just passing the balls, but the problem arose when we started to throw some things in the air and catching them. As I was doing this I somehow made it over to the pile of shoes. I threw the little sheet thing in the air up and ran forward tripping over the shoes and falling forward onto my face. I just so happened to fall right on my freshly healed chin splitting it open again. I remember feeling the sting that happens when I had gashed my chin before. I grabbed it like I had before to keep the blood in but I looked and saw the puddle of blood on the ground and I knew that it was bad. I rushed to the nurses where they called my mom and told me I needed stitches. There is still blood stains on the floor from that event almost eleven years ago.
Shmicolas VS. Schmogan, a fight that has been building tension within the walls of my school for almost half a decade. Beginning as enemies perpetually at each other’s throats and now friends still perpetually at each other’s throats, still waiting to get in the ring to settle the seemingly eternal beef.
For a while now I have had my money on Schmicolas, small but scrappy, thin but still holding the power capable of knocking Schmogan on his ass, with one fell swoop. Schmicolas is quite the unfortunate adversary for Schmogan as Schmogan is easily enraged, quick to lose his cool and drop his advantage. Although I confidentially place my bet on Schmicolas, Schmogan is still quick, strong and capable of sending a punch that would even leave some fighters stunned.
If we’re talking wrestling, mixed martial arts or street fighting, the advantage is certainly in Shmicolas’ hands. He is a capable wrestler, one that has quite the record when it comes to taking Schmogan to the ground and getting him to tap. However, in a regulation boxing match, things may get a little interesting. As their builds are almost exactly the same, they throw the same jabs, same hooks and dodge with the same urgency. This fight will be a slow battle of attrition until the bell rings in the twelfth round.
However, a battle of attrition may be Schmogan’s downfall as he is impatient and is unwilling to wait too long for the final result. As the fight drags on, Schmicolas will begin to triumph as Scmhmogan loses his patience. Although it likely won’t be some jaw-dropping knockout, Schmicolas will undoubtedly take home a TKO and will be the ultimate victor of this fight.
Sometimes I just want to sock someone in the nose. I obviously mean this statement figuratively but sometimes I get so riled up over things so stupid. I don’t mean I’m a little b*!/h that cries over everything, but I feel that a lot of stupid stuff happens to me. These emotions that are evoked from my pissed off self may define who I am to some people, however to me the way I deal with said frustrations defines who I am. Sometimes I eat, other times I try to wack golf balls as hard as possible, but most importantly I “sweep it out the door”. This is my twist on the common phrase of “sweeping it under the rug,” however I changed it for myself. I feel that sweeping the dirt under the rug implies its kept there and can’t be erased or forgotten, however under my rug there is an endless pit. There’s nothing going on back there, its void, null. There is no backstage or backstage party, once I sweep it behind the curtain its gone. I simply forget my emotion and uneasiness, what better coping mechanism could there be? In retrospect this may be destructive and it is obviously stupid to neglect self reflection, but hey at least I’m happy.
I have ADHD, and a symptom that impacts my life every day is executive dysfunction. Executive dysfunction is something that neurotypical people experience too, but it’s usually strongest and most visible in people with ADHD.
Understanding executive function is the best way to get a grasp of what executive dysfunction is. As defined by Harvard Center on the Developing Child, “Executive function and self-regulation skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully” (Harvard, 2020).
When looking at the DSM-5 criteria for diagnosing ADHD, it’s obvious that most people with ADHD lack the ability to do these things without outside help, which is where the term “executive dysfunction” comes in.
For me, executive dysfunction hinders my ability to manage my time, control my impulses, remember important upcoming events, and split my attention between multiple things. These effects have led me to miss deadlines, accidentally ditch my friends when we were supposed to hang out, and miss points from not realizing that I’ve left out key details in assignments.
Since I’m in high school, my executive dysfunction mostly affects my schoolwork and learning experience. For an adult with a job, it could cause them to get fired because of repetitive mistakes. The stakes are higher for adults, which is why learning effective strategies to combat executive dysfunction is important.
I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.
“Executive Function & Self-Regulation.” Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 24 Mar. 2020, developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/.
Here are my NBA awards and playoff bracket predictions
League MVP: There are many options for MVP such as Kevin Durant, LeBron James, and Giannis Antetokounmpo. But my pick this year is none other than Stephen Curry from the Golden State Warriors. Curry lead the league in scoring last year along with averaging 5 boards and 5 assists. He should’ve taken home the award last year but the Warriors missed the playoffs by game which was the biggest knock on his 2020-2021 campaign. This year the Warriors will most likely have a high seed in the west due to incoming rookies Mose Moody and Johnathan Kuminga providing much needed help off the bench; and most importantly the return of all-star shooting guard, and co-splash bro Klay Thompson. Thompson will provide much needed assistance to the Warriors back court. Klay Thompson with bring out the best of Stephen Curry in this upcoming season.
Rookie of the Year: Rookie of the Year is an easy pick; Jalen Green out of Houston. Green will get to play both the 1 and 2 guard positions for the Rockets this year allowing him to have the ball in his hands for most of the game. Having the ball in his hands not only gives him the free range to create his own shot it also allows for him to be a playmaker. Houston with out a doubt will find themselves in the bottom of the western conference but at least they have a franchise player in Jalen Green.
Most Improved Player of the Year: The player who’s game that will elevate the most will be Michael Porter Jr. Porter Jr recently signed a 5 year max-extension worth up to $207 million; not only will he have to prove he is worth a two hundred million dollar contract he will also have to prove that he can be a leader on this Denver Nugget team. The Nuggets will be without point guard Jamal Murray this year so Porter Jr will have the opportunity to take more shots and elevate to an all-star wing he was projected to be coming out of the University of Missouri.
Defensive Player of the Year: This year’s DPOY will be Anthony Davis. Anthony Davis, or AD for short, should’ve taken home the award in the 2019-2020 season. Davis has a chip on his shoulder coming into the 2021-2022 season, AD missed most of last year due to injury and was given the nickname “Anthony Day-To-Day Davis” via the ruthless nba followers on Twitter. AD will not only remind everyone the type of player he is, he will surpass everyone’s expectations for him. I believe this year will be AD’s career year due to the fact that the Lakers added another Hall of Fame playmaker to their roster in Russell Westbrook, brought back legendary point guard Rajon Rondo, and have some guy named LeBron James as well. Davis’s defense will be a key part in the Lakers hunt for their 18th title.
6th Man of the Year: This award will go to Jordan Clarkson out of Utah. It’s his award to lose and nobody is as consistent as Clarkson when coming off the bench. There’s not much to say for JC as he knows his role on the Jazz; fucking score the basketball. And he does, he does it very well so he’ll find himself adding another 6th Man of the Year trophy to his award case.
Coach of the Year: What team/coach fits the NBA’s narrative for the 2021-2022 season. I like Nate McMillan from Atlanta.
This was a long time ago before I moved, around pre k time. I was having my first play date with this kid that I still know to this day. My house at the time had a little section in the center where we had put a hot tub. Once the kid that the playdate was with had arrived we went into the backyard to play for a little while. After we played for a little while we decided to go into the hot tub and relax. Me being the idiot that I am then decided to stand on the edge of the hot tub and jump into it, I did this a couple of times and my mom told me to stop. But I didn’t listen to her and I did it again and that was the stupidest thing that I could have done, not because my mom scolded me but because when I jumped in the full force of my body collided with the filter fixture on the hot tub. As I hit the filter I felt the impact in my chin and slam my jaw shut and the stinging feeling took action. I looked down at the water and saw the blood start to disperse throughout the hot tub. I grabbed my chin to stop the blood flow and contain it as my mom rushed me to the car and grabbed a towel on the way out the door. We went to the emergency room and I got my first ever bit of glue to put my chin back together. Now that may not sound like a big deal but I was three so it was to me. But anyway that’s how I got my first major injury.
I have no idea what college I’m going to. I mean I have another year to think about it but like I don’t even have a dream school. And tuition fees are just going up and up with a lot of schools charging 70-80,000 dollars a year. Everywhere is so expensive and its harder to get in to places. I dunno maybe I’m overthinking all this but I really have no idea where I wanna go. There’s so many cool places with awesome programs, but not all of them have good scholarships. My mom tells me I shouldn’t worry about the money side of things but we can’t pay for 80,000 a year without student loans and FRICK student loans. The wage and finance system is rigged against the working class and I am the working class. But I guess I’ll figure it out when I get to it.
There is no right or wrong answer for every decision in life except the test in school, and that’s the problem. Every time I need to decide between two things, it can really take me forever. I just have no idea what to pick. I am really worried about myself at this point. My friends give me some advice that is to analyze the details in the choices, and picking one is beneficial for me. This is interesting. I know drinking too much boba isn’t good for my health, at the same time I can’t live without boba. You might think if I can’t live without boba then why not just buy it? The only concern I have is money. I don’t want to spend too much money. Now, I have to decide whether I should spend money on boba or not. My head is running a political election every time this happens. I just need someone to guide me on what I should do. Why is life so hard for me!
Here is a list of what I hate when someone ask me:
What do you want to eat for dinner?
Is the answer B or C?
Did you like your mom more or your dad?
What should we do next?
What college do you really want to go to?
Do you like Dr. Pepper or Root Beer?
What is your favorite subject?
If me and your mom fall into the water, who would you save first?
Do you want to hangout?
How are you?
Nerdy Fun Fact of why you shouldn’t drink too much boba
The fructose in boba will be converted into “purines” during metabolism , and uric acid will be produced after decomposition. Under normal circumstances, uric acid will be excreted in urine. Once the drainage problem occurs, the crystallization will accumulate in the joints and bone tissue, causing inflammation, swelling pain. The more sugar intake and more , the level of uric acid can also be increased accordingly.