Category: journalism

Stuff having to do with the world of journalism.

My Favorite Feelings

maydaygaskarthLeave a comment

I’m in a really good mood right now, but there are honestly so many things that makes life feel so much better. So, here’s a few things that never fail to make me happy.

  1. The tiredness after being at the beach in the sun all day
  2. Driving down PCH with the windows down during sunset
  3. The lights turning off at a concert and knowing the show’s about to begin
  4. When the singer stops singing and everyone in the crowd continues belting the lyrics on the top of their lungs
  5. Listening to ocean waves before falling asleep
  6. Having the air conditioning on while sleeping, but being wrapped up in warm blankets
  7. My horse coming up to me
  8. Hugging my favorite celebrities
  9. Having dance parties alone in my room
  10. Waking up and having a good hair day
  11. Wearing a cute outfit and feeling confident in it
  12. Good conversations with friends at dinner
  13. Waking up early and having energy to take on the day
  14. Sitting outside when it’s hot, but a perfect breeze keeps you cool
  15. Hot chocolate after snowboarding all day
  16. Being spontaneous
  17. Being carefree
  18. Blasting 2000’s throwbacks and singing along to them while driving
  19. Reuniting with friends I haven’t seen in a while
  20. Dancing
  21. Singing with my friends without caring about what my voice sounds like
  22. Having motivation to clean my room
  23. Being told my writing is good
  24. Swimming in the ocean for hours
  25. Running
  26. Hanging out at the fair in the summer
  27. Finding out I did better on a test than I thought I would
  28. Jumping into a freezing pool on a hot day
  29. Listening to a song for the first time in years and still knowing all the lyrics
  30. Mastering a verse in a rap song
  31. Wearing oversized sweatshirts
  32. Going to the movies while it’s raining outside
  33. Getting invested in a new book and forgetting about everything else around me while reading it
  34. Being around a camp fire
  35. Opening gifts
  36. Giving a good gift
  37. Having a breakthrough while horseback riding
  38. Writing freely without writer’s block getting in the way
  39. Talking with my friends on the phone for hours, and though I rarely see them in person anymore, still having our friendship be stronger than ever
  40. Loving life for the way it is and currently not wanting to change anything about it
Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

Write to write, you know? (w.v. II)

faithfulomnivoreLeave a comment

I think I should stop trying to be eloquent and just try to be authentic. The words will come on their own.

I’ll write just to write, you know?

I love talking. I love that I can talk to people so easily most of the time. But, sometimes, I hate it too, because we all just say the same things over and over and over every time. It gets boring.

Image via Pinterest.com

And I find myself saying over and over that I want to go somewhere far away from here. I want to go everywhere that is not here and stay there for a very long time.

And I find myself saying over and over that I would never love anyone like that.

And I know I love you! But sometimes I also just hate you! I love that you are open and introspective and so sure of yourself, but sometimes I wish you would just shut up!

But, I do like that you write about it all. I didn’t know that before. I think that’s the one thing you do without over-thinking and without trying to so hard to look like you aren’t trying.

I just want to be authentic.

If You Love Something, Set it Free

mycountrythoughtsLeave a comment

I know the saying: “If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it’s yours.  If it doesn’t come back, it was never meant to be.”  It’s true for some people and perfect for them, but it’s shit.  Why should I have to set you free to know that you’re the right one?

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

I love you and I don’t want to set you free to know that.  When I look at you, I don’t doubt anything about us, so why should I let you go?

At the same time, I don’t want to hold you back.  I know it’s four years and that’s too long to stay in a long distance relationship, but I want to be selfish and keep you.

There is a big chance that you will come back, but how do I know that is going to happen?  Four years is a long time, we both could meet new people or become new people.

Part of me wants to ignore every guy I meet in college to make sure I am single when you move to Tennessee, but what if you meet someone that makes you happier than I ever could?

The other part of me wants to move on and date many guys so I am not the one stuck in the past hopelessly in love with someone who found somebody else, but I know that I won’t be able to do that.

I love you so much and I don’t want to hold you back.  I wish that this relationship didn’t hold you back, but I guess if it does I will let you go.

Time and Time Again

mypetlobster1Leave a comment

You build me up, take me, and use me then leave me to fall apart. But, the saddest part is that I let you do it time and time again.

Deep down, I think you know that I love you. I think you deny it though, thinking that I don’t love you makes it easier for you.

Easier to text me and tell me you want to spend time with me, then completely shut me out once you’re satisfied.

Sometimes you don’t even go, though. You text me again to bail out and it hurts more than being played, because, at least when you play me, I get to spend time with you. I get to be close to you and I get to feel like you might actually care about me.

You’re not the only guy that does this. I reach out to others to try and forget you. They play me too, but it’s different than what you do. They tell me I’m beautiful, pretend to actually care, send me hearts over text, tell me they love me, then they shut me out.

You just shut me out after you use me, you don’t pretend to genuinely like me. That should make it easier, but it makes its harder.

I see you around school five days a week. Sometimes I feel like I’m invisible to you, sometimes you talk to me and we act as close friends, than somedays I feel like you purposely avoid me. I’m probably overthinking this though, I doubt I matter enough to you for you to even ignore me.

I know this is bad, but its gotten to the point that I’ve been hurt so much that I talk to multiple people at once, so that when one guy bails, there is still another one that I think cares about me.

Every time another guy plays me, it hurts. It hurts a lot. I cry… I cry for hours. Every time I think someone might genuinely like me, but then they tear me apart and cast me out, just like you do.

Every time another guy plays me, it hurts. It hurts a lot, but at least I’m not thinking about you. Thinking about you hurts even more. I know I’ll get over the other guy in a couple weeks or months depending on how much I cared, but I know no matter how many days, weeks months, years, I’ll never get over you.

I’m not an object. I’m not disposable. You cant just throw me away when you’re done. I’m not a piece of paper you can crumple up and throw away when you’re finished.

I hate what you do to me. I hate even more that I let you. And I hate the most that I’m standing here waiting, hoping, yearning for you to text me again.

 

Photo Credit: Time Magazine

A reflection on past reflections

faithfulomnivoreLeave a comment
Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

If anyone was wondering, I made the sun come up faster.

I’m not sure how or why or exactly when it happened, I just know that a few weeks ago I was running in the dark at 6am and now I am running in the light at 6am.

I don’t have the time or energy right now to figure out how to read the stars or alter the path of the sun or anything like that, but if anyone out there has any insight to offer, I would love to hear it.

Looking back on my past thoughts, it’s funny to see how much changes and how much stays the same.

A few months ago, it seems as though I was fascinated by time and weather and all sorts of things. I still am now, of course, but I guess that I just already got it out sort of artistically, so it’s not as much of a pressing issue anymore.

It’s cloudy today and it rained a little bit in the morning. It feels like everything is clean. I still miss the sun, though.

And I think I will always be fascinated by the weather and the sky. I just always will be.

 

Interstellar

mypetlobster1Leave a comment

I like space and planets and the stars. It amazes me and it’s its nice to know that there are some things that no one understands. I think it’s humbling in a way.

I get caught up in my own life; my problems seem so big and overwhelming. When I’m trapped focusing on my life, I forget that I am one person out of eight billion. I forget how small I really am.

It bothers me so much seeing people who think they are better than everyone: better than other people, better than animals, better than everything. People destroy nature, kill animals, and hurt others all because they think they can. They think that they’re above everything.

I wish I could tell them. I wish they could just understand that they are just one letter in a thousand page essay, one raindrop in a ten hour storm, one frame in a five hour documentary, one out of 8 billion tiny insignificant people.

The stars are a good reminder. As big as you think you are, as big as you think your problems are, there is always something bigger.

 

Photo Credit: Festim Kelmendi

a familiar demon; revisited

underwaterismyflyzoneLeave a comment

why does it always wear off so quickly?

all of a sudden-

so blinding, exciting, and new-

but it fades and i see your true colors.

i see every mistake you’ve ever made.

i see how i painted you and i see how you actually are.

such a sad thing,

living off the infatuation,

going into everything praying it won’t end too quickly.

but it always does.

not knowing whether it’s a genuine sentiment or the excitement of the attention.

i ignore all of your tricks;

they no longer work for me.

when i start getting bored, i start noticing how you walk a little weird,

how you have a poor vocabulary,

and how you are much cleaner than i’ll ever be.

i pick you apart.

i don’t want to,

but my brain simply won’t have otherwise.

i can’t live a white lie.

it’s discouraging, you know?

not knowing if i have the complexity to be able to get past this.

am i interested or is it just the trick my mind plays on me only to result in a painful goodbye?

(for you)

make a monster out of me,

i understand.

probably one more week until i’m completely over it.

yet again,

what’s wrong with me?

why can’t i just stay infatuated

both for me

and for you.

 

photo credit: pinterest.com

 

Time

mycountrythoughtsLeave a comment

Five weeks.

Twenty-five weekdays.

Thirty-two days.

I never thought those numbers could ever mean so much to me.  I have five weeks, twenty-five weekdays, and thirty-two days left of my senior year.  I will be free once those are all zero.

I will officially be done with school.  I will be a college girl.  I still can’t believe I am almost done with the four years I dreaded the most my whole life.  The four years I wanted to be done are almost that: done.

I am a very different person from who I imagined myself to be and I know I am not done growing and figuring myself out, but I love who I’ve become and don’t want to change anything.  I almost wish I could pause these last few weeks and live in them for a little while longer.

I can’t wait to get away from here.  To start my life with no boundaries.  These weeks are something that can’t go by fast enough.

I wish these weeks would pass by in the blink of an eye, but I wish I could look back on them and remember everything I am feeling now.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

Five weeks.

Twenty-five weekdays.

Thirty-two days.

“The God who made the world and all things in it”

faithfulomnivoreLeave a comment
photo credit: jdboggs.blogspot.com

For quite some time now, I’ve been trying to find God.

It’s not that I feel I’m lacking something without being a member of a religion, I just find it fascinating how people feel so empowered by so many different faiths.

In some ways I’m jealous of those people, the ones who know whole-heartedly that there is some higher power out there to guide them.

I know a lot of people who are skeptical of religion and, in some ways, I am too.

But, I’ve come to the conclusion that good people don’t use the Bible or anything else to justify hate or harm. The people who make excuses in the name of God are hypocrites in the truest sense and are ignorant by thinking that just by adhering to a faith will guarantee a better life or afterlife.

I think there is so much we can learn from religious texts. Even if you don’t interpret them in a spiritual sense, I think that anyone of any faith or background can gain something from the lessons in them.

From my perspective, the main purpose of a religion is to give people a sense of purpose or fulfillment and to help them live the best life possible.

So if this is true, then I’ve found my god.

I find my religion in the wilderness. I find god in the trees and in rivers and mountains and the sunshine.

My god makes up everything that is natural and wild. It teaches me to live the best, most fulfilled, and positive life that I can.

And that’s all I could really ask for.

 

The C-word

mycountrythoughtsLeave a comment

“Easter-worshipers.” What does that even mean?  Yes, we were at church on Easter, but, no, that does not mean we are Easter-worshipers.  It means we are the scary C-word.

We did not go to a service to worship Easter, we were there to worship the day Jesus Christ did the unthinkable, unimaginable, impossible, and rose from the dead.

I did not sit in those pews to talk about the Easter bunny and think about the Easter egg hunt I would be helping out with later.  I sat in pews to talk about and worship my savior.

Those people whose lives were taken from them did not go to church that day planning to worship Easter.  They went there to hear about Jesus Christ and how he died on the cross for our sins.  They were there because they were the C-words or at least interested in learning about the C-word.

The C-word is not a bad word and I am tired of feeling like it is.  True C-words are the most loving people.  We are taught to love everyone and forgive everyone like God does.  Yet these past few years I have started to feel as though being a C-word is wrong and I am a horrible person.  And this past week, holy week, has made me scared about my future as a C-word with all the attacks on C-words.  The media can’t even say the C-word.

We are Christians and proud, so don’t be afraid to call us what we are: Christians.