Things That Make Me Happy

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In a time full of uncertainty, I think it is important to remember all the things that make me happy!

  1. Oaxacan Food, specifically Tlayudas
  2. My friends!!! I love them so much
  3. My sister. She’s kind of weird, but so am I.
  4. My limited edition “Western” Hydroflask, I like to think the bronze flowers are Aztec Marigolds, and that the water bottle is a limited edition Day of the Dead water bottle.
  5. WATER! I love ice-cold water even if it is bad for me.
  6. Lip gloss. I don’t think I could live with perpetually chapped lips
  7. Music. It feeds my soul and helps me feel connected to my culture from thousands of miles away.
  8. AirPods! They help me get immersed in the scene of my music.
  9. Day 1 Curls. Having freshly washed hair with the perfect curls is the best feeling ever.
  10. Tortilla House! Whenever I am having a bad week, I make sure to go to Tortilla House and get the most loaded burrito bowl.

I am just happy to be alive with a full belly and a roof over my head.

credit: Pinterest

Motivation

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Lately, I feel like I have been losing motivation for almost everything. Even just getting up out of my bed and getting a glass of water. I don’t know if it’s because winter is creeping up, or if it’s because I work myself out of energy. But I think about when I was little and how much more energy I had. Clearly, kids have a lot of energy, but it feels different now that I’m older. I miss being a kid so much, but growing up has just been dreadful lately. I remember when school used to be fun. It would just be a place where I would see my friends. But now the only thing that motivates me to get out of bed in the morning is if I have a free block that day. I usually don’t, but sometimes I wait until the last minute to do my homework or anything else I need to do before bed. I’ll be lying down on my phone, and when the clock hits 9, I say 5 more minutes. Next thing I know, it’s 11. Hopefully, I will get my motivation to do things back soon.

Nostalgia

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I’ve been attending this school for four years. I’ve had many firsts and many lasts right here in its walls. I’ve been through every whirlwind of emotions. I seem to remember something new with each step I take around campus. As the weather changes so do I. My mind flutters through the past at a million miles per second. I don’t always recall specific memories or events, instead I feel. I feel old emotions and my mind and body retreats back to the state they were in during years prior. Nostalgia is such an odd sensation. Last winter I dreaded coming to school and wanted to jump into the future so badly. Now, when I smell a certain scent, feel a familiar breeze, see the returning clouds, or hear a familiar bird, I regret not enjoying it before. I long to go back into the past and experience these smells, feelings, sights, and sounds for the first time. Nostalgia brings with it the deepest sense of longing one could possibly feel. This longing used to bring with it an unbearable sadness and yearning, but I’ve learned to appreciate and embrace it. You can never go back, never experience the past again, so why not take full advantage of the fleeting nostalgia that finds you at the most unexpected times. The next time the ominous sensation of nostalgia finds you, embrace it. Stand still and take it all in, because it’s the closest to the past you will ever get. Even more importantly, live in the moment, don’t long for the future because it’ll cause you to soon long for the past. Don’t waste your life longing, spend life enjoying the present, and enjoying nostalgia when it finds you.

Picture Credit- Google

Piano’s Expressionism

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Music, like most forms of art, is created through the channeling of a person or persons’ passion, expressing their thoughts, emotions, and experiences by encapsulating them in a tangible piece of work. Likewise, when listening to music, I aim to understand the artist’s thought process—what they were feeling and what they want to say—rather than simply consuming. However, instrumentals are unable to convey the artist’s message verbally and directly, thus requiring communication through subtlety and nuance.

This is where I believe the piano excels.

While there are exceptions, a majority of instruments are typically limited in the vibe and tone they can evoke in listeners. However, the piano is versatile in its style, being able to complement and enhance all genres of music. Depending on how it’s played, a piano can sound grand or melancholic. Furthermore—due to the piano’s wide range—a single pianist is capable of playing the melody and harmony simultaneously, being able to harness complete emotional depth all on its own.

Redemessia - spiral piano by Cersatti Art Wall Art

Picture Credit: Google

Kids’ Shows (With A Dark Turn)

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As a child, I used to watch shows. I’m sure we all used to, either it being PBS Kids, Disney, Nickelodeon, or Cartoon Network, or comics, or any media given to someone as a child. I grew up on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, mainly watching SpongeBob, Gravity Falls, or any other show streamed on the public networks.

I eventually grew out of it, but I still can’t stop watching a few shows meant for kids. That was until I got turned to Adult Swim, where I watch Smiling Friends, Superjail, Futurama, Moral Orel, and a few smalls here and there. Sure, all of these shows are equally messed up and dark, but they’re animated and not meant for kids.

The main reason I’m writing this blog is the second season of Fionna and Cake, the spin-off of Adventure Time, and its release. I remember watching all of Adventure Time in a single weekend, just so I could watch the spin-off’s release, which has more mature themes than its counterpart.

Since I had watched the first season and the first episode of season two, I rewatched all of season one. Again. For the third time overall. I noticed little things, but also the overall picture to how messed up Adventure Time actually was.

I’ll spare everyone spoilers. Despite the lengthy 10 seasons, I recommend watching if you like shows with Hella lore and well-written characters.

P.C. – Pinterest

November 1st

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I don’t think I’ve written more in my life than in the past few weeks. I had eight college deadlines on November 1st, and I decided to complete my work at the last minute. I just submitted half of my college applications, and I’m honestly done. I feel like the amount of work students do building up to applying to college is enough. Going through a tedious process of reviewing everything I’ve done with my life over the past eighteen years, with a word limit, feels impossible. I’m trying to manifest that I will get into lots of colleges, but I’m also not delusional. I missed one of the best weekends of the year, sick and doing college work, and I just hope that I get good karma from this. On top of all of this college work, I keep forgetting that I actually have school work, but that seems more like a tomorrow problem.

“Working Typing” by Bench Accounting/ CC0 1.0

Spring Soccer Season

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The spring soccer season just ended, and my team got first place. We went undefeated throughout the entire season, scoring 53 goals and conceding only 9 goals in 10 games. Every one of my teammates tried their best, and they never gave up. We did have some bad games, but even when we did, we still never gave up, and we either came out with a win or with a tie. Now that my team won, we go up a level for next season, and we’re going to be NPL. NPL is a big deal, especially for a Ventura team. Now that the league is over, we go on to the College Cup in Las Vegas over Thanksgiving break. But after that college cup, our team stops practicing, and we all go play for our high school teams. This win means a lot to us and our coach, and I’m excited to see how my team does next season. 

Finally Landed: Bishop Carroll culminates more than decade of final 4 finishes with 1st state championship, Golden Eagles earn 2-1 win over St. James Academy in 5A girls soccer final - Kansas

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Sharing Snacks

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Woke up this Wednesday and I had an orthodontist appointment, I knew today we had no sports, so why not treat myself and prepare a lunch with some snacks for myself. So I grabbed my retainer case and headed to pack my lunch. I first grabbed two bars because I know my friend Jay will want one, so I grabbed one for him. I opened to fridge for a wild surprise of a premade sandwich that I instantly put into my Trader Joe’s lunchbox. (Shoutout Ms. Ruby u da goat fr) I also grabbed my Burt’s Bees chapstick for my chapped lips. (Shoutout Ms. Ruby u da goat for getting me da chapstick 2 fr) Then, finally, I got a big ziplock bag and jammed it full of red grapes, cold, crunchy, tasty red grapes. Delicious.

I then finally got to school, and when my friends Nola, Savannah, Bennett, and Leia saw my lunchbox, they grew brimful with curiosity about the contents encapsulated in my lunch pail. I opened and their jaws dropped at the sight of a bag overflowing with red grapes, cold, crunchy, tasty red grapes. Delicious. So I shared some of them, and I shared my Chapstick with Nola.

My shorts are untied, and my shirt kind of has a collar but also doesn’t, it’s weird. I’m also wearing white socks and some fuzzy slides. I’m sitting next to Bennett, too. Eat some grapes if you read this.

Hammer out.

PC: Google

First Semester Senior Year

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Credit: Google

I can’t believe it —they were right; it really does creep up. I swear it was only like yesterday that I had been dreading coming back for the final time. The drive, as excited as I was to see my friends, signaled my first step to the end of my high school career. Back then, it seemed I had eternity before the second semester even approached my vicinity. That time would move as slowly as a snail trying to get from one side of the garden to the other. 

But as time seemed to pass me by these couple of months, I realized I’d kept myself busy enough not to notice the approach of the end. As I wrap up my final season of volleyball, I remember this is it. Next year, I will be off to college, and all these fantastic people I know will be spread out either across the US or even the world.  

It baffles me that not that long ago, it was summer and I was dreading the long wait until the second semester, but now the saying “time waits for no one” really has meaning. I want time to wait, so I can continue to enjoy these little moments I have with my friend. The moments where we do nothing and everything, and still find ways to end up on the floor laughing. To the point where my side hurts and I have to yell, “Shut up, it actually hurts,” only to continue. It’s those moments that have made the first semester so memorable and have made me melancholic about the second semester.

Vacation or School?

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This week I’m writing from Mexico. The crystal blue ocean, the coarse seashell-filled sand, and the clear scorching skies surround me. I’m missing a few days of school to take this vacation, which has really got me thinking. As I splashed in the waves and sipped down cold, icy drinks, I had a realization. Right now, I could be sitting in class, sipping on stale water from the cafeteria, writing an essay about a book I’ll forget I even read in about a year. Sadness drapes over me like the heat of the sun when I think about the stress I’ll soon have to return to. I don’t want to go back to the boring, cold, and monotonous life that school induces. I sit here in Mexico, doing the same schoolwork I would be doing in class, but instead I’m outside, enjoying myself. I envy homeschooled kids who can do this all year round. Travel, be outside, be free, but still learning. Many kids claim that being homeschooled isn’t ideal because it’s difficult to make friends, but I think I’d be fine if I joined a few clubs or sports. Anyways, I’m not homeschooled nor will I be. For now, I’ll just be content knowing I’m not sitting in class and I have freedom for a few more days. When I’m back at school and sucked back into the dreaded lifestyle of a high school senior, just know, I’ll be wishing I was back in Mexico.

Picture Credit- Google