Sorting of My Docs

Halos_击Leave a comment

Whenever you’re a writer, you probably have a crap ton of Google Docs lying around. Since the app lacks a sorting device, I had to create an entire Google sheet and copy and paste each Google Doc into it. The lengthy process made me realize that I have a lot, and I mean a LOT of Google Docs that fit into each category.

I have a category for the novel I’m currently writing, Beyond the Graves, where the progress is currently on and off due to school and a busy schedule. I also have my Dungeons and Dragons-based world, The Fall of The Helm (labeled TFoTH for short), where I usually write more worldbuilding and the history of the world in that area.

Compared to both BTG and TFoTH, my Concepts tab has 14 Docs, filled with just, well, concepts.

After making this sheet, I realized one thing. I can’t stick to one story, no matter how hard I try. Sure, I’ve been working on BTG for over a year, but I’ve made other stories and concepts in the meantime.

Sure, J.R.R. Tolkien took 17 years to write The Lord of the Rings, but with a tiny novel such as mine? I need to get on to it.

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Bordem

myfatcats2Leave a comment

I’m so bored, there’s nothing to do in my house, no food, no activities, just my TV, cats, and dog. I’m also just lazy. I don’t want to do anything, lowkey I just want to chill, everyone’s always doing too much. Everyone in the world just needs to calm down, because it was never that deep. Back to the main point, I’m still bored, Friday night, nothing to do, just sleep or something. I don’t even know. I should go feed my animals, but my cats are so fat they don’t need any food. My dog is the one who needs food. He’s so skinny and white, not that it has anything to do with it, but just saying. He’s kind of ugly but in a cute way, but Akyra thinks he’s the ugliest thing to ever exist, which is mean. But anyway, I’m still bored. I guess I’ll watch a show, ok? Bye. 



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Ugly Mornings

zombiegxrlLeave a comment

I am so tired. I have no free time during the school week so I like to make the most of my weekends. This is where my dilemma arises. I stay up late on the weekends to get the most out of my futile untethered days. I know it will come back to bite me during the school week. I never want the day to end because the next will only creep closer to Monday.

When Monday morning finally comes, my long nights catch up to me. My eye bags are swollen and discolored. No amount of stretching soothes the aching in my back. The cold world awaits me right outside of my blanket that heats me like a freshly baked loaf of bread. One alarm goes off, then the next, and then the next. I hit snooze until the last second.

When the last second forces my eyes open, I sit up and slide my legs down the side of my bed. The hard floor meets my sore familiar feet like a deceitful friend. The blanket slides off and the cool air envelops me as goosebumps run across my skin. I stare into the darkness with drooping eyes. I cannot fathom the fact that I am about to start my day and go to school.

I open my curtains and the harsh light pours in. A new day, a new school week, and a new set of sleep deprived mornings. I hate being tired on the weekdays but I would hate it even more if I missed out on the freedom of my weekends. I’ll have to keep sacrificing my under eyes and sleep for my freedom.

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Work Days

Soccer11Leave a comment

Three times a week I go to work. Usually, I work closing shifts with someone else, but they are changing it to closing shifts alone. This weekend I worked twice. The first time was on Friday, and I got to work with one of my best friends. For the first three hours of my shift, all I did was serve customers and restock cups, spoons, and ice cream. Once it gets to the last hour, we start closing and cleaning the windows, the lids, and the counters. Once everything was clean, I started to sweep the floors while my friend put the lids on the ice cream, and after I was done sweeping, I did the register and waited for my friend to finish mopping, and then we took out the trash and locked up. Almost every time I work, we do the same things, and usually on the weekends, we make way more money than on the weekdays. 

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Rainy Day Shenanigans

thehebrewhammerLeave a comment

I woke up with my mind racing of the dream that had woke me up. Half-asleep I forced myself out of bed into my normal morning routine which consists of 1, going to my parents room to say what’s up to my dog, 2 going into my room to shower and brush my teeth and finally 3, get dressed and leave.

However, this morning was different whether it was my cold shower being not so cold this morning, or the feeling of wearing a jacket to school for the first time this year. Today was different.

That was when I looked out my window to see water droplets had covered all the windows in my room. Then it hit me, last night was rainy. But I didn’t feel down because of the weather, not me, no this cat likes the rain. I ran outside with my wet hair and shoes untied and took a big nice American whiff of that rainy air.

I smiled ear to ear, with that rainy day smell in my body I knew today would be a great day.

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Forgetting My Blog

Bl@ckBe@nsLeave a comment

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So, it’s Sunday afternoon… and I just realized, I forgot to write my blog. You’re probably thinking, how can you forget your blog, it’s a weekly thing and it’s always mentioned. Well I somehow did, and now I feel like I’m a hundred steps behind. 

I recently started a new system of keeping track of things for school, guess it isn’t working. The new system I’m currently using is to write things I need to do on a sticky note and stick them to my desk where I can see them. It felt like it was working and I was more on top of things compared to before, but I’ve managed to mess it up.  

The blog isn’t the only thing I forgot. It turned out I forgot something for another class, but it was before I  started the system, which I don’t think really counts, but still. Now I feel like I’m falling behind in everything, and I’m gonna fail every class from here on out. The worst part is that it has only been about three weeks since school started, but somehow, the effort I’m putting in currently feels like nothing compared to everybody else.

The Gym

LetsGetSendyy6767Leave a comment

Over the summer, I decided to start going to the gym. In the summer heat, my days were primarily spent indoors except for golfing in the afternoons. I began to feel sluggish and less active than I thought I needed to be.

Starting as a beginner in a public gym was intimidating at first. Walking in and passing people who could bench press double my body weight didn’t help me feel welcomed.

I found a spot near the corner, put on my music, and started to work. Each time the weight was lifted, a burning yet rewarding feeling was felt in the intended muscle. As I fatigued more, the feeling increased.

While going to the gym is often described as painful, it is an indescribable feeling that combines the struggle of the body with the relief of the mind.

It often takes motivation from getting off the bed or couch to get to the gym, but the rewards it brings outweigh the dread. I’ve found that the longer I have been doing it, the more it has become a habit rather than a deliberate action.

Seeing the gradual improvements over time, even if it’s 5 pounds, shows that the work is paying off and keeps me wanting to show up the next day.

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Overstimulating

candystealer76Leave a comment

Today I experienced overstimulation so horrible that I couldn’t function properly. I could barely breathe out of my nose because of this September sickness. It was humid and rainy, so I felt hot and cold at the same time, which are the worst two weathers to have on a school day. The hood on my hoodie was in my way the whole day, that it was all I could focus on when doing school work. I also had a surprise quiz in my favorite class, Spanish, which I did not study for and probably failed because of my lack of focus. My Spanish class today was before lunch, so I had to walk up a large flight of stairs, which I could barely do because I can’t breathe. I also had a presentation for my AP class, and I had to read off of a slide that I did not make and did not understand a word from, which impacted my grade. Luckily, this very overstimulating week is almost over, and hopefully next week will be more tolerable.

hoco makes me loco

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

This weekend I’m going to my friend’s homecoming, and I’m just really stressed out. I forgot that she had invited me two months ago, so I ordered my dress a week ago. It arrived yesterday, which is two days before, and I kind of hate it. I have so much work that I need to catch up on, and I feel like homecoming is just going to take over my weekend. I also have no idea what time the dance starts and ends, and I really don’t like not having plans. We are supposed to get ready with a group of girls before, and I have never met at least half of them, so that’s probably going to be awkward. Even though I’m nervous, I’m still excited because we are getting ready at our friend’s house, who is now in college, as her sister is having people over to get ready. My friends and I have already claimed to get prepared in our friend’s room, which is in college, because it would honestly be disrespectful if someone else who wasn’t us got ready in her room. I am manifesting that everything goes well tomorrow because I just see a lot of things that could go wrong.

Nostalgia

ackley4167Leave a comment

Nostalgia is by far one of the worst feelings ever, at least for me. I feel like I have nostalgia even when I’m living in the moment; it haunts me. Every time I go out or do something fun, I’m flooded with it. No matter if it’s a song, moment, or memory. I basically just unlock the vibe or the feeling I had during some time in the past. I don’t really know how to explain it. I can just feel how I felt in the moment when I think back on it. Just like smelling an old perfume or candle from a special time in your past. It makes you remember and miss everything so deeply.

I miss being little; it was such a special time in life. The nostalgia from when I was younger is the thing that truly haunts me the most, out of everything. I miss Christmas, or any holiday, and the feeling I had for them when I was younger. It’s so different now, and I’m changing so fast. I didn’t even realize that all those special times I had were gone. And I will never get to experience them again.

“Girl Sad” by Milada Vigerova/ CC0 1.0