Becoming

Today is the last day of my childhood,

Tomorrow I will be an adult.

It means I’ll have more freedom, I’ll be able to buy more goods, drive (in China), book a hotel room…

By ascending to that place, it also means leaving some of my old life behind. Things will be renounced.

It’s a different world that I’m about to touch. Letting go is always easy, when you put a title on yourself and pretend to be someone you’re not, you become that someone.

But this time, I am willing to change, and I’m excited for the upcoming changes. I guess that’s what growing up is.

OC

photo credit: pm1.narvii.com

One Day Older

At 11:59 p.m., Friday, January 18th in Santa Barbara, I was still seventeen years old.

I spent the last sixty seconds of my childhood in a Lyft with all my best friends going back to my aunt’s house after just watching Escape Room and I was truly happy.

But, as the clock struck 12, I was no longer a minor. I was eighteen years old and officially an adult.

During every single birthday, my family always asks me if I feel older at all. Usually, I don’t, because there usually aren’t any changes that happen that make me feel older. I know that as a sixteen year old I was legally allowed to get a driver’s license, but I didn’t get one and I still don’t have one because I haven’t found any reason for it. At seventeen, I was able to go to a rated R movie, but I always went to those anyways.

Photo Credit: Unsplash.com

However, when I turned 18, I truly, finally felt older right away than ever before.

I know I’m a year older, but it happened only in a day. From 11:59 to 12:00, it suddenly hit me that I was a legal adult.

On my 18th birthday, I went and got a cartilage piercing and I didn’t need my parents to sign my release form. I was old enough to do it by myself. Then, I went and bought a scratcher ticket, and when they asked for my ID, I was able to satisfyingly show it to them and buy it. I didn’t win any money and I don’t plan on buying one again, but it was the experience that made me so happy because I finally can buy one if I wanted to. For the first time on my birthday, I finally felt older.

My birthday itself was amazing too. I remembered last year I was on a train up to Santa Barbara, breaking down because the mudslides kept me from having a birthday celebration with my friends. This year, I spent the whole weekend with my best friends in Santa Barbara and Santa Monica. My two worlds came together and my friends from OVS and my friend from my old school finally met for the first time. We were out until midnight laughing crazily on all the rides at Santa Monica Pier without a care in the world. My birthday weekend was also full of delicious meals, amazing desserts, and all my family and friends. My cousin was even able to come to the brunch celebration on the Sunday afterwards, she usually is never to come to those events because she’s so busy, but it was amazing.

I know my eighteenth birthday will always be one I remember and though I’m horrified about the fact that I’m no longer a minor and that I actually feel older, I’m happy about it.

18

Tomorrow is the day I turn 18 and I am definitely not where I thought I would be. I’ve had my heart torn out and served on a silver platter, I’ve lost many loved ones, and I’ve seen things I never thought I would. But, I’ve also fallen in love, felt the magic of life, and, most of all, I’ve lived.  I’ve lived through many things and experienced many things, so here’s a list of 18 things I have done:

  1. I learned to love myself no matter what anyone else thinks.
  2. I learned to drive.
  3. I got my first car and learned how to drive stick in it.
  4. I fell in love with cars.
  5. I registered to vote for November 6th.

    Photo Credit: Pinterest.com
  6. I have scheduled a tattoo appointment.
  7. I have fallen in love for the first time.
  8. I have traveled to many different continents.
  9. I have started applying to colleges.
  10. I have seen how life doesn’t stop for anyone.
  11. I learned to not take myself too seriously.
  12. I have learned life is short and is over in the blink of an eye.
  13. I have learned that I can have different beliefs than the people who raised me.
  14. I learned that the person you call your best friend isn’t always the best friend for you.
  15. I have learned how to stand my ground.
  16. I have learned some friends come and go.
  17. I have learned some people are in my life to teach me a lesson and then leave me.
  18. I discovered who I want to be and what I want to do with my life.

There are many things I have learned and experienced, but my favorite has been falling in love, getting my heart broken, finding myself, and becoming the best version of myself.

18 Days Until Graduation!

I am very ready to graduate high school. I have already packed three boxes full of stuff ready to ship to college. The thing I am most excited for in college is gaining independence. At my boarding school, all my actions are controlled since the school is responsible for everything I do. 

Last weekend, I had a plan to go visit one of my friends who is in college. I was planning to go with my classmate who is going to the same college as my friend next year. Since my classmate and my friend there don’t know each other very well, I wanted to be the bridge to help them get to know each other better.

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On the Friday we were supposed to leave, we got a notice that we weren’t allowed to go. I was shocked. I had been able to get through my busy week by thinking about the weekend, and I had really been looking forward to it. All our transportation and other arrangements that my friend had set up counted for nothing. I felt so sorry for my friends, and I was so disappointed.

The reason our plan wasn’t approved is because we are not allowed to sleep overnight on a college campus. We were told that “a college campus is a dangerous place to be.”  I understand the school’s responsibility and that they sometimes need to be overprotective, but I didn’t expect our trip to be canceled.

I really need my independence. I am over 18 and can make my own choices regarding where I want to go and what I want to do. This is one of the reasons why I am very ready to graduate.

Happy Birthday Evan!

Today, it was one of my best friend Evan’s 18th birthday. He decided to have a get-together with some of his friends at his house. After a riveting ultimate frisbee/disc golf demonstration, my friends and I got picked up and drove to Evan’s house.

His mom cooked us an excellent dinner with tri-tip, kabobs, salad, and delicious tea and lemonade. We all sat around the table and joked around, and were alternating taking turns at doubles ping-pong, which I will admit, got quite intense! There were a bunch of different teams, some of which dominated, and others which hardly got any points. But over all it was very fun, we all got some good laughs out while playing.

After Evan opened his presents and it started to get dark, we moved into the garage for a game of “water pong“. Now, water pong is basically the same as beer pong, which is a popular drinking game, but of course we played it without any alcohol. It’s a fun game to play and we had two teems of four that battled hard. There were some awesome shots made and, like the ping-pong, it got pretty intense.

We all had such a great time and I really couldn’t have asked for a better Sunday. I was sad when it was over and we all had to return to school. But, 39 more days (and believe me, I’m counting) until we graduate and spend the beginning of summer together with time to do whatever we all want! All in all, it was such a great day with friends 🙂

Coming of Age.

Old person

Eighteen. An age of adulthood and an age of maturity, yet I still can’t embrace the fact that in a few days I am going to be old. Yes I said it old.

Many people will say that turning 18 is the beginning of your  life. It is when you can start college, go and have fun and  be independent, but to me it’s just another year closer to the end. I know that seems pretty sad, but for me it’s the truth.

To be honest I am expecting wrinkles to appear on my face and to find my first grey hair any second. I constantly think about how scary getting older is. As I find myself staying at home in the evenings and drinking hot tea before I go to bed I can’t help but to think old age is approaching fast.

Ok there are many benefits to getting older. For example: you may lose those teenage pimples, you can buy lottery tickets, you can see different films and even buy a house, but still many of these will never get rid of the fact that I am slowly dying.

So as I celebrate a year closer to my retirement, I can’t help to feel a little bit of sadness. I know I have many years to go but the thought that the end is approaching actually does me a favor. It makes me want to make everyday even better, embrace life and have fun. In the end I guess that is what life is all about.