Tag: Anger

My Key to Happiness

jared315Leave a comment

Sometimes I just want to sock someone in the nose. I obviously mean this statement figuratively but sometimes I get so riled up over things so stupid. I don’t mean I’m a little b*!/h that cries over everything, but I feel that a lot of stupid stuff happens to me. These emotions that are evoked from my pissed off self may define who I am to some people, however to me the way I deal with said frustrations defines who I am. Sometimes I eat, other times I try to wack golf balls as hard as possible, but most importantly I “sweep it out the door”. This is my twist on the common phrase of “sweeping it under the rug,” however I changed it for myself. I feel that sweeping the dirt under the rug implies its kept there and can’t be erased or forgotten, however under my rug there is an endless pit. There’s nothing going on back there, its void, null. There is no backstage or backstage party, once I sweep it behind the curtain its gone. I simply forget my emotion and uneasiness, what better coping mechanism could there be? In retrospect this may be destructive and it is obviously stupid to neglect self reflection, but hey at least I’m happy.

Angry man screaming — Stock Photo © billiondigital #161276248

Scars

mypetlobster1Leave a comment

scars never go away.

no matter how many dollars you spend on Mederma.

they fade, but their reminiscence will always remain.

cuts, bruises, scratches, and blisters hurt

but cuts will heal. bruises and scratches will vanish. blisters and sores go away,

scar takes a different type of hurt. a different type of stab. a scar is a much deeper pain.

happiness, anger, regret, remorse, and fear burn.

but anger will simmer down, regret will turn into acceptance, remorse will turn into forgiveness, and fear will be overcome.

but love is a different type of burn.

love is a different type of hurt. a different type of happiness. a different type of pain.

just like a scar, love fades.

just like a scar, love will never go away.

just like a scar, love is a weakness that can be cut open at any time.

for better or for worse…

photo credit: Pinterest 

Rekindled

slimjimsilversLeave a comment
I ran 17 laps over the course of two hours, I was winded, but hardly exhausted. These were the days I lived for. I was in first grade when I first participated in the Terry Fox run, an annual international charity track event meant to raise funds for cancer research in honor of Canadian hero, Terry Fox. This event is where I believe my relationship with sports or athletics in general really began, racing my friends across the long stretches of the track until we collapsed on the grassy ditch to catch our breath, just to do it again countless times.
 
For the next three years, my passion for sports grew even further. At school I participated in badminton, dodgeball, fitness, swimming, everything they had to offer. I was by no means a stellar student-athlete; outside of school my childhood consisted of next to no physical activity, having busy parents, no siblings, and neighbors I was unfamiliar with, my outdoor activities consisted solely of digging holes in the backyard. All of that aside, I still loved physical activity, making sure to fill my recess with as much tag and soccer as I possibly could.
 
In fourth grade, however, I found that my affinity to athletics had shifted towards food instead, and as I slowly gained an appreciation for eating, I slowly lost interest and ability to participate in sports. I began an exponential weight gain that lasted, thankfully, only five years, but took a tremendous toll on my body. At my peak in seventh grade, I would strain myself climbing the stairs, I’d wear shirts two sizes too big to conceal everything I could, and I was eating a family-sized bag of chips every day. So to sum things up, things weren’t looking too hot for me. In those five years, my relationship with athletics had become estranged and I intentionally belittled sports as primitive to somehow justify to myself my current condition. However, being the aspiring hypocrite that I was, I still tried desperately to get onto every sports team offered at my school, soccer, basketball, lacrosse, whatever team sport that would have me, but unsurprisingly, every time, I was nowhere to be seen on the lists.
 
Even after I got my weight problem under control and ended up going too far in the other direction I found the same issues with sports. I had no strength, no energy, no agility to participate in any activity apart from golf, but I was awful at golf so that was out of the question for me anyway. In the last four years, I’m proud to say I’ve finally gotten my weight under control, I no longer count every calorie that enters my body out of fear of losing control again. I know what went wrong and how to avoid those same mistakes.
 
Basketball is where I’ve been able to express this change the most. My freshman year I had 12 minutes of playing time the entire season. I can’t blame my coach for any of that, I was 6’4 inches of skin and bone, I didn’t have the strength to shoot a basketball from the free-throw line, and I could jump maybe a foot off the ground. The past few years, I’ve grown taller and stronger and I’ve trained relentlessly. I’m by no means the MVP I had hoped I would be. But now being one of the main contributors to my basketball team after my tenuous past with sports, I can finally look back and feel proud about my athletic ability, something that once meant so much to me, for the first time in nearly 10 years.

Wandering

mypetlobster1Leave a comment

Let me be your beacon,

let me be your guiding light.

I know you’re scared, tired, and broken,

but I’m here to hold you tight.

I know you hide your fears from me,

you get ashamed when you let them show,

but babe,

I’ve cried in your arms many times,

so please just let me know

what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours,

your wicked, twisted, brain

filled with lies and awful times,

but babe let me be your change.

I just want to love you,

you’ve been through so god damn much,

your beautiful soul deserves the world you know,

I wish you thought the same.

I’m sorry for everyone who hurt you,

you’re scared to let me in because you fear I’ll do the same.

Everyone you’ve loved has done you wrong,

but darling I’m not the same.

So let me be your beacon,

let me be your guiding light.

I know you’re scared, tired, and broken,

but I’m here to hold you tight.

Photo via: searchengineland.com

A Letter to Past Generations

maydaygaskarthLeave a comment

Dear people of the past,

I am one person out of millions. I may be small, but my voice will not be silenced. We will no longer be silenced by beliefs made centuries ago.

We will not be silenced by beliefs that are killing innocent lives, or by the beliefs that are discriminating against the people who are finally becoming proud of who they are.

We are the new generation. We are the millennials, the Gen. Z kids, and the generations to come, and we are proud of ourselves for the world we’re determined to create.

We may be young, and we may not know everything about the world, but we are still learning, still improving, and we are definitely still fighting.

We are strong

We are resilient.

And we are powerful.

But we aren’t defined by adjectives; we are the future. In just a few years, most of us will be given the power to vote, and we will remember when you ignored our pleas.

Photo Credit: ABC News.

You ignored our pleas for equal rights, our pleas to not feel afraid to walk into our schools, our pleas for an equal opportunity you pride your country over yet fail to fulfill.

We will remember what you refused to give us, and we will take it ourselves.

The years will come, and the world will become ours. Not just for one percent of us, but for everyone.

A world where students can walk into their schools without the fear that they’d never walk out.

A world where people are free to love who they wish to.

A world where people are judged by their personality or by what they bring to the world. Not by the color of their skin, or their preference of who they love.

So remember this

We may be young,

But we are angry.

And you can try silence us, but we will rise, and we will scream louder than ever.

Having a Conversation

thebeigegirl

A boy thought he was good at persuading for his age.

He almost always succeeded to change his friends’ disagreeing opinions, so he had been satisfied with his persuasion skills.

However, as time went by, he could see people not changing their opinions in his favor although he still had good reasonings.

Looking back and thinking carefully, he could figure out why.

He was not actually persuading them.

He succeeded to change their opinions but failed to change their minds.

The people could feel him being indifferent to their opinions.

He would only listen to their opinions to find the holes in them, to prove their errors.

He talked to them on the premise that his thoughts were right.

He was not having a conversation with them. He was giving them lectures and forcing his ideas into them, which no one asked for.

PC: http://sourcefed.com/how-do-you-argue/

In your life, you are the main character. You’re the protagonist, the hero, the heroine. However, you are just a passerby in others’ lives.

Whether an opinion is right or not depends on what perspective we see it from. An absolute idea in history can be the most ridiculous thing in the future; someone might not like what I like; a homeless person can be happy while a girl thinks him to be unhappy.

No one can guarantee the future, and not one opinion is absolutely right. Therefore, the point of conversations lies on sharing different ideas.

So, why even bother to talk to people if you know that you will not consider their ideas as an option and only emphasize your idea again and again?

In fact, you are bothering them.

 

Shadow

indigoshellLeave a comment

It’s a snake. She’s black too, but the kind of black the night sky is. She’s dark. She’s vivid. She’s powerful.

She’s real. She can never leave you, and sometimes, you want her to leave you. She can be your strength, and she can be your weakness.

She speaks your mind when you lose it, she’s there when your sibling’s a bother, she’s there when you don’t understand something.

She fights. She will fight hard, and when you think she’s done fighting, she will fight even more.

Her enemy is Conscience. Conscience makes her mad, and Conscience makes her strong. She fights Conscience with all she has.

The longer she fights, the less control she possesses. She looses herself in an effort to protect, she grows stronger and out of control.

Fangs, venom, whipping tail, flared hood, she fights Conscience and eventually she fights you. Your body turns from heavy to angry.

She is Anger. Anger must be held back. She must be held back. Nothing can hold back Anger.

She rises, hissing, spitting, glowing, menacing, fighting Conscience and fighting you. She’ll fight you and everyone and everything around you.

DESTROY

Her Anger will infect you.

ATTACK

You will be a danger to be around.

KILL

You can’t fight fire with fire. You must drown it with water.

Imagine never finding water.

Defeated Again

callmemaybe32Leave a comment

Once I again I walked off of another teams field not feeling the great feeling of victory

This past weekend the team traveled up to Los Olivos, CA to compete against the Dunn Earwigs on their parents weekend, just as we did last year.

We went into the game with high hopes, and a new play series that we had worked on all week.

We arrived at the school, and right of the bat the day was not going as planned.

Somehow the ball bag was left back at school, some 2 hours away.

We did not have our own game balls, or our own kicking tee.

We put that aside and made do, and went into our pre game routine of bananas, pretzels, and stretching.

Our Defensive Coordinator John Wickenhaeuser had dome some research that bananas and pretzels before a game does the body good if that comment seemed a little odd.

During our warm ups that same nauseous feeling returned, and I was once again off my game.

I even tried to take medicine to make this feeling go away, but it is clear that it is nerves, and I just need to be hit a few times so that I don’t think about it as much.

When the game started Dunn quickly scored their first touchdown, and we weren’t too worried, that happens in the game of football.

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Worst Person in Sports #20-Juan Castillo

backinphillyLeave a comment

As many of you readers may recall, I spent an awful lot of time trashing Juan Castillo, defensive coordinator of my beloved Eagles, last season. Now, he’s back with an even more atrocious act than simply calling the wrong formations.

First round pick Fletcher Cox was criticized by Castillo during the team’s rookie minicamp. I’m not talking about a playful criticism or a little teasing to haze the rookies. I’m talking full on cursing him out. The kid is brand new to the squad, and you’re gonna start yelling at him? Probably not the right approach.

Honestly, Cox handled it like a seasoned pro, only responding with “Yes sir, I’m gonna correct it, sir.” and “I know sir, I apologize.”

Class act for a rookie, if I do say so. As an athlete myself, I should explain that when a coach gets hard on you, it’s nothing personal. It’s for an athlete to recognize a mistake and correct it themselves.

My one massive issue with this was that Cox had no idea what he did wrong, and apparently Castillo failed to explain it. That’s just bad coaching. I always appreciate when a coach has something to criticize about my style of play. I always welcome that kind of criticism. But tell the kid what he did wrong, Juan!!!!

It’s the only way he’s gonna be able to get any better. There’s a lot of pressure that comes with being a team’s first round pick.

The Past is in the Past

yrreskrap2 Comments

It’s true. Sometimes, we just have to let go.

Life is a learning process. Learning about our limits, our purpose, our favorite types of candy, our soul mate, our best friends. We have been learning from the very beginning. We absorb the most knowledge in the first five years in our life. We learn how to recognize faces. We learn how to walk. We learn to smile when we are happy and frown when we are not. We learn from experience, from our mistakes.

 

But we also learn about avarice, heartache, anger, prejudice, hatred, poverty, and murder. And through the years and our experiences, these unwanted emotions begin to build, some changing us for the better, others blinding us from the positive things in life.

That is why I love this quote so much.

We must leave the past in the past. I am not saying that we must forget about our past completely. No. That would be unwise at the least; the past is what defines us and makes us individuals. It is our past that helps us learn and grow. But it is equally important to learn to move on, recognize our faults, and realize that tomorrow is different from yesterday and even today.

Leaving the past behind may be the hardest part, but life should not be bogged down by our past but rather influenced and benefitted from it.