Summer… School?

When thinking about the summer, I was always overly excited to graduate, go back home, and spend time with friends and family.

But, recently, those plans have change. I am still graduating, of course, but I am not going back home. Instead, I am staying right here in Ojai and working for OVS‘ summer camp program!

I knew I would need to get a summer job this summer. So, I started looking for many places back by where I live, but not many of them wanted to hire someone just for a few months during summer. My friend had told me that she was planning on staying in Ojai and working for OVS this summer. I figured it would be a really good opportunity and I would also be making a good amount of money.

I am pretty excited about this opportunity! First of all, I love kids and I am excited to work with the younger kids this summer and do fun activities with them.

Secondly, I am happy that I will be around a lot of my friends, since most of them are day students and live around this area anyways.

After I work, I will be able to go home in early August and spend a month at home with no obligations. I can see my friends and family and then, after that, it’s off to college at Cal Lutheran! I am so excited for this summer and for what’s to come after it as well! 🙂

A New Journey.

I don’t know if it’s my personality or if it’s just the culture that I was brought up in but I always struggle to put myself out there and to meet new people. I’ve been forced to do it some many times, changing schools and immigrating to California, but still every time it’s a challenge.

It’s not that I struggle to talk. It’s just that I’m not outgoing or confident and this has really been highlighted in college situations. Although I’ll always put on the tough, brave act and get tasks done, underneath I am so fearful.

I want to meet and get to know new people but the inherent fear that they wont like often makes me restrain in many situations.

I have a common problem: I care too much about what other people think of me. Rather than putting all of me out there to get to know others I worry about all the things I will loose. In the past this has changed me, loosing myself behind: materialistic goods, clothing and friends, but now I want to go into college as me.

I guess it just takes time but from now on I am going to try and take braver, honest steps and see where these take me on my journey.

Friends

College and Its Struggles

Now that I enter the final phases of the college process, I look back at the godawful endeavor that it has been. While many people will tell you that these sorts of things teach and make you stronger, I could have gone without that lesson.

Now let me make it clear, I am very happy where I ended up. In the Fall it looks that I will be attending Chapman University. It is a great school and I am lucky to go there.

But what it took to get there was frankly hell. From the amount of work required on the applications during a busy part of senior year to the pains of the financial aid process, it has been an experience to forget.

My advice towards those who have not yet experienced the joy of applying is this:

1. Start Early. This makes life a lot easier for you and your family. If you can have an idea of the type of college (eg. small, big, east coast, west coast, etc.) you want to go to by the end of the summer before senior year you are on a good track. This will allow you to pick out schools you really want to go to and not stress out which ones you are applying to.

2. Be on the same page. A key to the college process is communication between the student, their parents and the college adviser. Make sure that all parties know of the general expectations and plans at all times. This ensures more productivity and less fights/homicides.

3. Be realistic. The worst thing you can do is think you are built for Stanford when you really should be going to a state school. There is nothing wrong with going to a college, no matter which one you choose. But save yourself and the admissions offices some time and choose schools within your range. Still apply to reach schools and safeties, but don’t shoot for the stars with a bottle rocket.

4. Save Save Save. Some people may have a healthy money tree in their backyard but if that is not the case then start saving now. As much as you think you are going to get those scholarships or “it will all work out” chances are you want to avoid being 100k in debt when you graduate. Save what you can and go over what you can really afford before you chose a college. Again, be realistic about what you can do and find the best option for your money.

There are parts to the college game you just have to find out as you go. Work hard in school and prepare and it will be as easy as possible. I am not saying it will be easy because quite frankly I haven’t been hearing any of my friends say what an easy process it was.

But with hard work and maybe some luck you can end up in a good college where you can really succeed and have a good time while doing it. That is the end goal and it is attainable with work.

Decisions, Decisions

The past few months have been a game of waiting and then a game of choosing. I applied to 7 colleges, and received acceptances from 5 – Chapman University, California Lutheran University, Sonoma State University, San Jose State University, and UC Merced.

All of these schools seemed like good options to me. A few of them were closer to home than others, and I was just a little unsure if that was something that I wanted or not. I decided against San Jose State and UC Merced for a few different reasons. But there was one college I really wanted to go to, and that was Chapman.

I’ve known many people that have gone to Chapman, and they all love it there. It’s in a great location, the education is great, the campus is beautiful, and the people are extremely nice. The one downfall is that it costs about $58 thousand each year to attend. When I received my acceptance letter, I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t get financial aid. But I waited, and waited, until my financial aid letter came. And, unfortunately, my fears came true when I was only offered loans as financial aid. I knew that my family wouldn’t be able to afford that much money for 4 years.

Because of my unfortunate incident with that school, I had to look at the rest of my choice. I knew two of them were out, so it was basically a choice between Sonoma State and Cal Lutheran (Located in Thousand Oaks near LA). They both seemed like really great schools, neither of them were too big, and students seemed to really like both of them. Sonoma is much closer to my house. But, Sonoma is a public school with 5 thousand more students than Cal Lutheran. I visited Sonoma in January, and the one thing I noticed and absolutely loved were the dorms. They were like miniature apartments. They are probably the nicest college dorms I have been in. I visited Cal Lutheran just this past week, and although the dorms were not as nice, the campus was very pretty. I talked to a former student of OVS, and she seems to really like the time she has spent there. She said that the teachers were extremely helpful and that the classes are pretty small – the average class size is below 30, while I know Sonoma state has up to a few hundred in certain classes.

Even after I visited both, I still was unsure what I wanted. Sonoma meant I could visit my friends at home and family much more often. Cal Lutheran meant that I could go to LA and visit my friends that live down here, and also I felt like I would get more help with schoolwork if I needed it.

I was having such a hard time deciding that I went to my good friend for help. She knows a lot about college in general, and had a hard time deciding for herself, so I figured I’d ask how she did it and what her advice was. She asked a question that made it really clear for me that I hadn’t thought of; “Where will you thrive?” I thought for a while and realized that in a school of 9,000 people, even thought considered “small” compared to many universities, I felt that Cal Lutheran would really help me learn more and challenge myself to a point where I will succeed and feel extremely accomplished about it. I started to feel like I would get lost at Sonoma and let me responsibilities slip away from me.

So, that night, I called my parents and talked to them about my decision. Since Cal Lutheran gave me $14,000 dollars per year through a scholarship, it ends up costing about the same (though a little bit more) than the public tuition of Sonoma State, which was a great thing to know. Even though my family is well-off financially, my dad is paying for 2 other kids to go to college, and has paid for 4 years of my private education here at OVS.

In no time, I had paid my enrollment fee and housing deposit for California Lutheran University. I have officially decided where I am going to college and have committed! I was so excited that I even treated myself to a Cal Lutheran sweatshirt, something I felt kind of dorky doing but felt it was appropriate for such a major decision in my life.

Honestly, I was a bit nervous that I was making the wrong decision, but now I feel very confident in it. I feel like it is a very strong and welcoming community that I will fit well in. And, of course, if I end up just hating it – which I completely doubt – I can always transfer somewhere else.

In short, I’m just so glad I have made the decision and committed. The next 4 years of my life are set for me now. Even thought I had initially wanted to attend a different school, I am starting to think that this one will be just as good if not better. I’m a bit nervous to start my first year of college but I’m also excited at the same time. I can’t wait to see what this experience brings me.

6 WEEKS.

6 weeks.

I CANT WAIT.

I’ve been counting down from 100 days, but spring break was our LAST BREAK OF THE YEAR!

Everyone keeps saying to avoid the disease known as Senioritis, but at this point, I have no idea if that’s possible. Even a few of my teachers seem to be counting down the days.

In 2 weeks, AP testing will be going on. I’m nervous for my 2 tests, AP Psych and AP English, but also excited because after the test in Psychology, we’re leaving our text book behind and watching movies and doing fun activities. Also, we will already have taken our final exam, so I will have nothing much to worry about in terms studying for that class.

As for my others, I will still be having finals and homework. But, for Law and Society, we will be having a big mock trial as our final, and I have a feeling that it will be really fun! I’m excited to see what it’s about.

College is in the very near future, and I still don’t know where I’m going yet. My first choice is way too expensive, so I’m just very unsure at this point. I have to decide by next week, though, so at this point I’m just hoping I make the right choice.

Let’s just make it through the next few weeks! Then it’ll be a nice break from school until I embark on a whole new adventure.

College Crap

Throughout the entire process of applying to colleges I have been disgusted. The application process is one of the most bogus ideas ever conceived and it should be changed.

Firstly, the process is incredibly biased. I am a very middle class white male which puts me at the back of the pack to begin with. But I have always had good grades and tested well so I wasn’t too worried.

Then it came to the actual application-filling-out part. This was incredibly time consuming during a period in which I was studying for three AP classes as well as working. I struggled to find time to work on the applications but with the help of my mother, the English major, I managed.

Recently, I have been receiving my letters back from the colleges, and there is only one way to put it: it has been disappointing.

Now it’s not what one may think because it’s not that I have been rejected from my top schools. I was wait listed at a couple and got into the rest (minus Pomona who unsurprisingly rejected me).

But despite getting in, I can’t go to most of them because my family and I cannot afford it. They have given me both achievement and need-based scholarships but to no avail. This angers me.

We live in a society that is constantly preaching about how important education is. Yet a student like me, who would almost surely succeed in these schools, is not given a real chance because I don’t have enough money.

Now, I understand that it really is a business. But if our country wants to really go up in the education rankings we need to make it easier for motivated students to get the education that they seek.

But despite my disappointment with the system, I still count myself lucky. It looks like I will be going to Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas. They gave me a very nice offer and, despite being in Texas, is a very nice school.

My First Rejection.

The small, white envelope lay limp in my hand. A paper fringe lined the top of the envelope, standing like the dendrites of a hairy neuron, signaling the haste I had in tearing open the envelope.

By its mere size, I knew that the envelope did not hold favorable information. The only question I had was whether or not, inside was letter of rejection or a letter of a waitlist.

“Dear Serry:

It is with genuine regret that I write to inform you that the Admissions Committee is unable to offer you admission to the class entering Pomona College this fall…”

It was fine. I didn’t feel the stereotypical emotions that follow a rejection letter. Perhaps it was because I never intended to go to Pomona College. But nevertheless, it was an interesting experience.

However, this makes me worried about the upcoming notifications this week. I hear from Brown, my number one college, this week. I am scared of receiving a rejection. I don’t want to know how a true rejection, a rejection to a school that I want to go to, will feel like.

SO SCARED…to be continued.

Your Feet

Your Feet

“When I cannot look at your face
I look at your feet.

Your feet of arched bone,
your hard little feet.

…But I love your feet
only because they walked
upon the earth and upon
the wind and upon the waters,
until they found me.”

Pablo Neruda

I love this poem because it can describe anybody that is special to you. Friend, family, boyfriend, or girlfriend.

My mother has always told me that your feet are the doorways to your well-being. If it is flu season, and your feet are bare, you are welcoming the sickness into your body.

I’ve always wondered why she said that. I mean, I could understand why she would advise me to take good care of my hands or perhaps my head, but my feet?
I figured that it was because we use them everyday to walk, to sprint, to skip, to tiptoe, to dance, to keep a rhythm. And since we use them so often, it is crucial that we take care of them.

But this poem took my perspective to another level. Your feet carries you from place to place.
It is not how often you use them or how you use them that make them so special but where they bring you and who you will meet.
That is why my mother stresses me to take care of my feet.

My feet have brought me so far these past 18 years. They brought me up and down mountains and through my life’s pinnacles and pitfalls.

It’s quite funny because my feet used to be my biggest source of self-consciousness. I hated them. I hated the way they looked. I especially hated that because of 4 years of soccer and track, I have two black toenails.
But now, I kind of admire them for where they have taken me. It is almost as if I have a strange respect for them.

Now, as I am going to college, it is time to let my feet take me wherever they choose to go. OH and the places I will see! The people I will meet!

Life is remarkable.

Unfold

AHH!!! GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!

Everything is beginning to unfold!

Last Thursday, I found out about Brandeis U and got an acceptance and on Wednesday, I found out about Wellesley! I got in!

Nonetheless, being the overanxious person that I am, I thought that maybe it could be a mistake or that Wellesley changed its mind from the Early Evaluation that I received in February.

So in a way, I was expectant yet relieved to hear about Wellesley yesterday!

BUT that is not what is making the blood in my veins race or the tips of my fingers tingle.

I got a glimpse at my Wellesley financial aid package and it stated a $56,885 scholarship! Only $800 would be in loans!

God is good. He is just so good.

Now I will just have to wait to hear back from the other colleges! Next Tuesday: USC, Vassar. Next Thursday: UC Berkeley, Harvard, Columbia, Brown, Princeton, Dartmouth.

Can’t wait to hear what God has in mind for me!

Countdown


I CAN HARDLY HANDLE IT!!!!
I’m getting so anxious there are no words to describe the feeling.
So anxious and crazy and excited and nervous that I can hardly focus.
I want graduation to come; even though I’m going to miss this place like crazy, there will be the most amazing feeling when I walk across that stage and officially become a college student. I will officially have made it to a place in life that I had serious doubts about a few times in my past.
Oh, and I guess that going to Cabo with 7 of my closest friends doesn’t exactly suck either, huh? 😉

So, due to this slight mental chaos that I’m having, I’m going to have a random blog.

First, I wanted to start by sharing a video and singing duo that I find to be just utterly fantastic.


They call themselves Jayesslee, two twin sisters named Janice and Sonia. They have so many covers of songs that have millions of views on Youtube, so the’re pretty popular. Their harmonies just make me want to melt… And I can’t stop listening to this specific one. I highly recommend anyone and everyone to listen to their stuff!

Secondly, I’m just getting so nervous waiting for my last college decision. I’m so pleased with the schools that I got accepted into (and a little bit disappointed with the ones I was rejected from). But most of my friends have already received their Chapman letters of acceptance, and I’m getting very antsy – I JUST WANT TO KNOW! I checked online on the website, and it says that my decision letter has been mailed out already, so it’s just a matter of time… Unfortunately I’m not the most patient person on the planet.

And last, I know that they are over about 2 months away, so I still have time, but I am already stressing out over the AP tests. Man, am I glad that I dropped out of a few of the AP classes I had been taking in the beginning of the year and lightened my load. Now, I only have AP Psych and AP English as opposed to 5 total as I had in the beginning. Still, I feel like these will be really difficult tests and I’m definitely no where near as prepared as I’m hoping to be. One of these weekends I’m going to have to do some serious looking into what the tests are going to expect.

For now, I’ll just keep looking ahead to the good things in my future like graduation and Cabo!!!!! Hopefully it will help the time pass faster, because as of now, it feels like everything is going by so slowly, I can hardly stand it.