I am not Sad

I assumed things I shouldn’t have.

I thought it was a date.

But, I’m not sad it wasn’t.

I am just a little disappointed.


I thought about my outfit for days.

I planned everything out, down to the perfume I was going to wear.

But, I am not sad that I did that all for nothing.

I am just a little disappointed.


Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

We were supposed to drive around and do stupid things in our cars.

Instead, we sat in your truck and watched the sunset, talking for hours.

I am not sad I spent that time with you.

I am just a little disappointed.


The way we talked was not how friends talk.

The things that were said were clearly more than friendly.

But, I am not sad it meant nothing.

I am just a little disappointed.


I blabbered about us hanging out and me having feelings for you.

Then I asked if it was a date and if you were into me and all I heard was you weren’t over your ex.

I am not sad.

I am just a little disappointed.


I know you need time and I understand that, but why did you let me believe that there was something between us?

I am sad that you flirted with me.

I am disappointed that she is still in your head, but I understand.

(I’m calling dibs when you’re ready)



Out of my 4 years at the Ojai Valley School, I have played lacrosse for 3. At first, it wasn’t my favorite thing to do, but it has grown on me and I have truly began to love it.

I’m not an extremely athletic person, and when I first played lacrosse, it was hard for me to keep up with some of the drills and especially hard for me to play a game without becoming exhausted. But I started to love the game and build my skills. It became so much fun for me, and when it ended, I was already looking ahead and couldn’t wait for next year’s season.

The next year, unfortunately, we didn’t have enough girls to make a team. It was really upsetting at first, but we still practiced as a team and scrimmaged against each other, which gave me an opportunity to improve my skills a lot, along with some of my other team mates. I thought it would be a great way to really prepare myself for this year’s season.

But of course, as it always seems to happen, another issue arose, and after weeks of practices, followed by a small complication in numbers, we were unable to have a lacrosse team again this year. It really puts me off to know we physically had the number of girls that we needed, and that we had already scheduled all of our games with other schools.

I was extremely excited the first day of practice, knowing it was my senior year and that the team could really make this year a good one for the ladies lacrosse. We had a bunch of new players along with some returning, experienced players that would really be able to lead the team. As captain, I was determined to teach the girls to love the game like I once learned to. By the 2nd week, a lot of them were improving a great amount and I could tell that they were really enjoying themselves out there on the field.

There’s nothing that we can do to revive our team now. All of our games have been cancelled, and since it has, we have broken up as a team and filtered into other sports commitments. It really disappoints me to know that we could have had a really solid team and been tough competition if we had practiced hard and kept the team together. But unfortunately, it looks like I’m going to have to finish out my senior year on weak note, all of my effort for lacrosse being wasted away. That’s just life, I guess, but I really do wish there was something I could do to change this reality.

So long, lacrosse. It’s been a blast while it’s lasted.

The Vow

This Saturday, I went off campus with some friends to go shopping, have dinner, and see the new movie The Vow.
I have been SO excited for this movie ever since I saw the first trailer in theaters.
First of all, the actors in it are some of my favorite. Channing Tatum is a god, and I have loved Rachel McAdams ever since the Notebook. The story also sounded so extremely cute, and I expected it to be the cutest new love story that everyone was talking about.

But to be honest, I was not impressed. I could be because I built it up so much in my head that my expectations were much too high. I was actually a little upset, especially at the end. The ending truly ruined it. I was hoping for a total cliché and cheesy romantic ending. Even if it would have been a predictable one, I wanted a real love story, and it ends leaving you wondering, and not in one of those good ways.

The story had so much potential, and I really don’t think that the movie makers took full advantage of what they had to work with. Maybe they didn’t want just another predictable, perfect Hollywood romance.

It was not terrible by any means, but it wasn’t great. I’m a bit disappointed.