Tag: family

Break

pottymouth818Leave a comment

Thanksgiving 2023. 

I spent Thanksgiving this year in Mammoth. I essentially did nothing and that in itself was amazing. I got to catch up on family time including going on hours of dog walks with my mom. I also loved seeing that there was finally some snow on the ground.

I’m not sure if it’s surprising to me or not but the highlight of Mammoth was going to see the new Hunger Games movie with my family. What was surprising was how much my brother enjoyed the movie. That was something I didn’t expect. I’ve always loved watching all the Hunger Games movies but my brother hadn’t even seen all the movies in the series. Since watching the Prequel I’ve successfully gotten him to watch them all; As his sister, this is a big accomplishment. 

The best part of the movie though was when my mom emulated every Karen in the world and told 3 annoying girls to stop talking. The greatest thing about this spectacle was the way multiple other random people in the movie theater joined in and told them to be quiet. 

Being a dormer you really start to appreciate the time spent with your family because it unfortunately becomes few and far between. 

The enthusiasm for watching movies then continued throughout break as my parents and I later watched the movie NYAD. I liked the movie but I did find the main character rather annoying. She was so intense and abrasive the entire time. I wouldn’t want to be friends with her. Despite my feelings about her, the movie was great. My mom loved it the most out of the three of us; she loves movies about crazy athletic achievements. 

“Old Mammoth Road. Original image from Carol M. Highsmith’s America, Library of Congress collection. Digitally enhanced by rawpixel.” by Carol M Highsmith/ CC0 1.0

Excited for Christmas Break

graypenguinLeave a comment

I recently got a plane ticket to go home for Christmas break, and I am very excited about it. I spend roughly 1/4 of the year with my family, but I still miss them very much because I have to live away from them for the other 3/4 of the year. Living away from my family in the dorms has made me appreciate them more.
I would like to write a little about what I am looking forward to on my next vacation.
The first thing I am looking forward to is my family’s annual tradition of visiting a shrine called Fushimi Inari in Kyoto during the year-end and New Year holidays. Also, on January 1st, the whole family gets together for Osechi, a dish that is served as a drop-off from the gods after the Japanese New Year. I like to spend time with the whole family and talk about the events of the year. I also receive New Year’s money from my family. This is one of the joys of the New Year in Japan. I also look forward to watching TV with my family and going to Hatsumode (New Year’s visit to a shrine) when the date changes from December 31 to January 1. The year-end and New Year’s holidays in Japan are a bit busy, but I look forward to spending a lot of time with my family.
Secondly, I am looking forward to meeting with friends. One of my friends just got accepted to a university today and is looking forward to spending a few more months in high school. So my friend and I are planning to go on a little trip.
I am also in the process of getting my driver’s license, so I am looking forward to going driving with them.
Winter break is only two months away. I am most looking forward to seeing my family. I will use the winter break as motivation to study hard.

pc;me

Loss

leapingwaterLeave a comment

In July, I lost my aunt.

She was one of the brightest souls I had ever met. Everyone knew her as someone who was always smiling, and howling with laughter at any moment. She simply just entirely enjoyed life, even the small moments. She raised my cousins, as their father was not always in their lives, and she made countless sacrifices for our family. She survived a heart attack, beat breast cancer, and would not give up. Never. For the past few years, at least since I really started growing up, she had been suffering from dementia. As a child, this confused me in a way, but I honestly did not think much of it. To me, it was who she was, and I loved her even though this illness began to grow worse.

I had always acknowledged the dementia, but I really began to realize that it was a problem once her memory reset went from every 10 minutes to 5 minutes, to about 20 seconds.

Even through these difficult moments, she always would make me and others have the biggest smiles on our faces. I miss always hearing her call me “ducky” (darling in English slang), and hearing her laugh, which you could quite literally hear from two doors down. She embodied joy.

The thing about my aunt is that she had a fear of missing out, of sorts. My family as well as the doctors were surprised she kept going despite being severely ill towards the end. She just simply did not want to go. She always wanted to be a part of the party, and she did so in every aspect of life. She did all sorts of crazy and adventurous things in her 82 years of life. She rode Harley’s, got tattoos in her 50s (one of many being Betty Boop), flew hot air balloons, owned an absolute zoo of animals, and had many more stories that she would tell if reminded of them.

I had never lost someone so close to me before. Seeing her for the first time in a while, in such a different state really made me reflect on life. I would sit with her in her hospital room, watching her sleep, unable to speak at all to me at times. It was only her and I. I began to realize that there are so many insignificant things that tend to bother us greatly in our everyday life, that simply just should not bother us at all. I realized the importance of the phrase “life is short.” It really is. Here in front of me was a woman who had done so many incredible things throughout her life, and she could not even remember any of them at this point. It was like all of her memories had been locked away, never to be touched again.

Looking back on these times, I realize this experience has changed me so much. My perspective has changed a lot. It’s very difficult to explain. My first time experiencing grief was so strange for me as well. I had never felt it. I heard someone say somewhere that grief is love with nowhere to go, which I can relate to. I still cannot totally comprehend that she is gone. She was there, and now only memories remain. Everyone should try to live every day to the fullest. To lead your life with genuine kindness and non-judgment, especially to yourself, is what she did, and that is truly a beautiful way to live.

pc: Lloyd Towe

To my sister

poofypuffyLeave a comment

You are the most important person in my life. 

Sometimes, the more you discover about a person, the less you like them. The more I discover about you, my little sister, the more I admire you. You have a capacity for kindness that I aspire to have one day. You are always there for me, whether it is to help me put away the dishes or to hug me when I cry. 

I try to comfort you too. You cry more than me, but I also cried a lot when I was nine. I think that at some point, you will find out that while your emotions and feelings and distresses are valid, some things are not worth your tears. You will find that some things are there not to knock you down but to build you up, and you will find that you are so much stronger than the things that aim to knock you down. You will find that when opinions will differ from yours, there is an opportunity to learn rather than a cause to feel hurt. You will find that when life throws difficulty at you, you are not the only one in the world who has difficulties. I don’t mean that lessens your challenges, but rather we are all, in the wise words of Mr. Alvarez, slaying dragons. Together.

However, this is not something I can tell you, I think. I think you will come to your own conclusions, in your own way, in your own mind, in your own time.

I believe in you!

Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema

My Nonna

graceovsLeave a comment

When I was a baby, my Nonna would take me to the community pool while my parents were at work. When I was five, she made me a Christmas advent calendar with quilted pockets she filled with chocolates. When I was ten, she passed down her most prized childhood possession to me: a troll doll complete with hand-sewed outfits.

She loves her dog, Ella, like nothing else. Each morning I spend at Cosy Cottage, she makes me a fruit bowl with (slightly unripe) apricot, nectarine, grapes, blueberries, fresh raspberries, and maybe gooseberries from the garden. We once labored hours over a puzzle of London during an especially rainy week. She built Big Ben and I pieced together the Thames.

I love my Nonna. When I have grandkids, I’ll bake them chocolate cake with her recipe and these memories will come flooding back.

^ A quilt that reminds me of my grandma. PC:https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ad/82/92/ad8292685e528dec6b0f86d199d3357e.jpg

death

elephantlover2035Leave a comment

There is something so dauntingly beautiful about the word death. It is a term that means the end, but I do not think that is entirely true. I do not believe in god or heaven and hell, but I believe that the soul lives on. They protect and look over their loved ones. The souls of our lost ones can be seen in the cotton candy sunsets or in little insects that fly onto our shirts.

Death is sad, very sad, but it can also be something to appreciate. I can find peace that my grandfather’s body is laid to rest, no longer having to fight the arduous battle of poisonous cancer, but instead, his soul is with us whenever we gather as a family to eat. I can find peace that my Grandma Bobby is once again with her husband that passed many years before her. I know that my cousin is fishing with his dog and is enjoying a cold one. I know that my best friend, Little, is enjoying her cat naps in the sun rays that peak through the window panes.

Death still makes me weep and cry, but it also gives me a certain comfort. A comfort that when I or another loved one dies, I know that there will be peace. Whether it is surrounded by family enjoying delicious homecooked meals or by myself relaxing in a tube in Spring Creek, I know that death will be kind.

IMG_0945
pc: me

No Innocence to Lose

cannassuerLeave a comment

What is the point of shielding children from the more “negative” parts of life? For my entire life, I have never been able to wrap my head around why some people decide to actively shield their kids from discovering for figuring out more “adult” aspects of life. I’m not saying that every parent should give their kid a copy of Grand Theft Auto or Doom at age five as I have seen firsthand how that affects certain people. I believe that there is a perfect balance of what information a kid can take in as they grow up.

This balance varies greatly from person to person, but even if some kids can take more than others, it’s better to just let them find out on their own and have a real conversation about what it is than flat out blocking them from finding out. The second that a parent tells kids not to do something and doesn’t give a very good reason of why they shouldn’t do it, the kid is going to become curious and want to do it anyways. If a kid finds out what something is or even experiences it, there’s no point in lying about it. The kid already has an idea of what it is, and if you won’t tell them you can bet the internet will. It’s far better to just be honest and give the tools that the kid needs to be safe and educated about all these new things they’re learning.

What many parents don’t realize is that kids are growing up with a digital web that can get them what they want when they want it without anyone knowing, and if the kids aren’t taught how to navigate all of this with a level head, they could find themselves in a dangerous situation. At the end of the day, kids have free will that is just as strong as any adults, they will learn about life with or without the help of an adult mentor.

Art Credit- Kazuhiro Hori

The Revolution of Hair Between Brothers

ojaipizzaLeave a comment

Photo Credit: IKIDANE NIPPON

As everyone, most have known I have two brothers. I have one older brother and one younger brother. My older brother graduated last year and my younger brother just came to my high school this year. The students and the teachers in our school always got confused by our looks because we look so alike. Later, the hair revolution has started. We began to have our own dress style and hairstyle, but the changes in hairstyle are most obvious.

It all started when my older brother first trying out his new hairstyle which is the side parting. My parents weren’t used to it because his hair was too long, but they got used to it a couple of months later. By the way, I and my brothers’ hairstyle were all the same and it’s short, it looks like we had a bald head. Since then, I have tried out so many different hairstyles when I come to OVS. I had tried center parting, side parting and I also am the first person to perm my hair in our family! However, my younger brother soon changed his hairstyle to the center parting which means he asks me to also change my hairstyle. My younger brother always wants to be unique and stunning. For me, I just don’t want to look the same as my brothers. Therefore, I have found another hairstyle that where I belong is the Chonmage. At this time, we’ve found our hairstyle and we are satisfied with it.  On the whole, we still look alike, but the people around us can distinguish us from hairstyles.

trying to skate home

brachiosaurus15Leave a comment

Lights blurred

red and blue flashes encompass your thinly sliced eyes

fighting to stay open and alive

the white Honda SUV sits untouched

perfectly parked and placed neatly on the side of the road

while you broken

lay on the chilled midnight street

your life strewn about for everyone to see

ribs shattered

your board broken

and you brain shaken to a pulp

while she talks

,cries,

her keys gripped in her hand, knowing she will get back in her car and drive away from this

while

you are ripped off the street like an old piece of unwanted gum on the bottom of a wooden school desk

because thats all you are in the world

in this down town San Diego life that’s what you are

poor with kids

now broken and poor with kids

ribs shattered as you wife sits at home

bouncing on her maternity ball

kids asleep

waiting for you to get home

instead you get your self fucking hit

will she be born in the hospital room next to yours

will you be ok?

god I hope you will be ok

I hope you will skate again

run and play with your kids again

live again


Photo credit-Alamy stock photo



Who I am

currychickenloveLeave a comment

Do you know this feeling, when your heart drops and it feels like someone just dug a knife through it. That feeling that shivers down your spine and makes the hair on your arms crawl up. You’re pumped with adrenaline. Your heart is beating out your chest. And then, just silence. You don’t know what you feel anymore, it’s too much. Tears start rolling down your face. Your breath gets faster and faster.

Thinking about it, emotions are a fascinating and scary thing. One moment they make you feel like you are on top of the world, the next they crush you down to the floor. But I am not saying that that’s a bad thing. They help us learn, they help us communicate with other people without using words. People can connect, solely through their emotions. It helps us understand each other more. 

For the longest time, I tried to suppress my emotions. I feel weak showing my flaws and I don’t want people to see me cry. It is still something I am struggling with to this day. But I have found ways to deal with it by myself. Running, singing, playing tennis, are all things that help me burn off stress. But camping is probably the thing that has helped me most throughout my life. 

When I am outside camping with friends, I just forget all my worries for a while. Everything is ok and I just feel free and relaxed. Its like I’m in a completely different state of mind, like bad things can’t even get close to me. And at night when I look up at the stars, I just feel thankful for the life I have. How lucky I am to have such great friends and memories of traveling around the planet. How supportive my family is, and how excited I am for my future. 

Feelings are a important part of who we are as a person. They define us. And we shouldn’t be ashamed of them. even though I still struggle, I know there are people out there who care for me and who support me in anything I do. 

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32469035646.html