Worst Person 28-Elvis Dumervil Edition

I’m not calling Elvis the worst person. I’m calling his situation the worst thing in sports this past week. No, I’m not taking the March Madness angle on the worst things to happen. I made a bracket based on literally no knowledge. I rooted for Temple, and they’re gone.

I want to focus on one of the most bizarre stories I’ve ever heard. Yes, this beats Manti Teo in my opinion. Although, that one has an answer.

This one does not.

Elvis Dumervil and the Broncos were trying to renegotiate his contract in order to accommodate some of the new free agent signings that were coming to Denver, like Wes Welker. Elvis was set to take a 2013 pay cut from 12 million to 8 million. He agreed, and signed a faxed contract. The team had a deadline before being forced to pay Elvis the 12 million. They needed the contract done so they could save the extra 4 million bucks. But, everything was set. Elvis signed, and his agent was faxing the contract back to Denver.

Unfortunately for Elvis and the Broncos, the fax was six minutes late. So, what does Denver do? Should they suck it up and pay Elvis the 12?

Nope.

THEY CUT HIM!!!!

Because an agent was unable to send a simple fax on time, a man lost his job, which then led to the agent losing HIS job.

The Broncos then were forced to treat their All Pro defensive end as a free agent. He was fair game for the rest of the league. So they went ahead and offered him a fast contract to come back to Denver.

One problem though.

This time, Elvis said NO!!!!

Don’t get mad at me, Elway. This is on you guys.

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NFL Free Agency-Eagles Flyin’ High

Free agency is a time where the mediocre teams of the NFL decide to add some new talent. It is a time to overpay for talent that usually wouldn’t command this kind of money. Free agency is confusing, but at the same time, makes all the sense in the world.

Well, it makes sense to me. But, a lot of people don’t get this. It’s alright though. It’s just what I do.

Anyway, the Eagles decided to crush the opening day, signing 5 players to contracts. The biggest signing, Issac Sopoaga, will play nose tackle in the Eagles’ new 3-4 defense. We needed a nose tackle and we got one. That was just day 1.

On my big board, I wanted the Eagles to pursue three big name guys. Those players are DaShon Goldson, Eric Winston, and Sean Smith. Goldson and Smith have signed with the Buccaneers and Chiefs respectively. Eric Winston is still out there, but there has been very little news surrounding his signing.

Day 2 was very slow. I don’t recall any signings by the Birds. I just heard a bunch of rumors surrounding Darrelle Revis trade possibilities. It is beginning to look like the Birds won’t be getting the prized corner.

After Day 3 finished, I was totally content with missing out on him.

Three more signings occurred on Thursday.

First off was the signing of former Ravens cornerback Cary Williams. You may remember him as the Raven that pushed a ref during the Super Bowl.

His background goes farther than that. He’s young and he’s got solid stats. He will likely be an instant starter in Philly.

Next up was our retaliation against the Giants.

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Here We Go Again!

Well, this sucks. The Eagles, once again, are underachieving. Despite the firing of ex-defensive coordinator Juan Castillo, the Eagles have once again fallen far from expectations. The team just doesn’t look solid, and we are close to the halfway point.

One major red flag was this past weekend. The Eagles, with Andy Reid as head coach, have never lost a game following their bye week. This year was a different story. The team looked even sloppier following their bye, almost as if they hadn’t put in any extra work to help their cause.

I don’t blame this recent loss on Michael Vick. I blame this one on coaching and defense. I do not blame new DC Todd Bowles. He was given two weeks to turn a lackluster unit and completely transform them. That’s a tall task considering how much star power the defense has.

Let’s go down the list.

Jason Babin has been horrendous. He hasn’t been able to get to the quarterback at all this season. He’s far behind his 18.5 sack mark from last year.

The other defensive end, Trent Cole, hasn’t had any success either. However, if both pieces can improve, the entire defense will improve as well.

I now turn the attention to one of the most incredible busts (although still somewhat too soon to tell) I think I’ve ever seen.

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And there he goes, ladies and gentlemen!

After my previous posts of Asante Samuel being traded by the Eagles, the deal was finally finished today.

Yes, that’s right. Asante Samuel has been traded to the Atlanta Falcons for a 7th round pick.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The sad part about that laugh is that even though from a distance this looks like a terrible deal for the Eagles after the Lions were rumored to be offering up to a second and third round pick for Samuel last year, I was laughing at the Falcons for a few different reasons.

Number 1 is that now the Eagles have the freedom to spend some money to resign DeSean Jackson. Oh wait, we already did that didn’t we? Joke’s on Atlanta. We will probably use the money to resign running back LeSean McCoy to a massive long term deal.

The second reason I laugh at Atlanta is because of the huge price they pay, literally. Their core of cornerbacks looks very similar to the Eagles last season except for one big piece.

Last year, Asante was worth about 10 million dollars, Nnamdi Asomugha was worth 12 million and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie about 4 million, which is a huge amount of money.

Now check this out.

The Falcons, this coming year, must pay Asante 10 million (being as his new contract won’t kick in immediately) Dunta Robinson is worth about 10 million and Brent Grimes just signed a 10.5 million dollar contract. Thats about 30 million dollars at one position and also the most amount of money at the cornerback position by one team in NFL history.

Will I miss him? Yes. Am I really all that upset about it? No.

I remember when the Eagles first signed Asante. I was home sick from school on the first day of NFL free agency that year. I was really excited because I heard that a few teams were talking to Samuel, one team being the Eagles, considered the favorite to sign him. My mother told me point blank, “John the team always screws us. It’s not going to happen, and I think you know that. The team is run by idiots.”

While I agree with the last part of that, Asante Samuel was signed about one hour later. I was watching in my bed with some soup on my table.

“Breaking news, the Philadelphia Eagles have signed cornerback Asante Samuel to a 6 year, 60 million dollar contract.”

“MOM! THEY SIGNED HIM! OH MY GOD THEY GOT HIM YES! I FREAKIN’ TOLD YOU MA!”

While he was an Eagle, he was one of my favorite players. I love him. I still have his jersey in my drawer at school.

I will miss you, Asante. The Eagles play the Falcons this coming season, so I’ll watch him again, just from the wrong side.

Good luck, Asante. I’m sure you’ll make the Falcons a real contender. Keep stuntin’.

C’mon man! WE NEED HELP!!!!!

Demetrius Bell left Philly without a contract this weekend, which is not good news for the Eagles.

Following the injury to star tackle Jason peters, the Eagles need some serious help on the offensive line, and the team brought in Bell to try and get a contract done. Unfortunately, they screwed up and missed out.

Now, the Eagles may have to focus their attention to either obtaining another free agent O-lineman or drafting a replacement for Peters.

Either way, something must be done now. This is not a good sign, but thank God (or Tebow, whichever you prefer) that there’s a lot of time before the season stops.

Time to get serious, though.

By the way readers, Sorry I haven’t been doing any worst person stories lately. I’ve been really focused on free agency and have been covering that mainly. I will be getting back to those very soon.

Enjoy this random picture of happiness for my return to the worst person stories.

Asante Samuel—The Sequel

I’m not sure how to say this, but as time goes by during the trade talks, I want Asante Samuel more and more out of Philadelphia. Now the Eagles have an even more pressing matter on the table. They need to find a way to replace All Pro left tackle Jason Peters, who ruptured his Achilles tendon while working out in Texas.

The Eagles have already been connected to two big name tackles, Demetrius Bell and Marcus McNeill. Both players are far superior than King Dunlap, Peters’ current backup.

I can only sit back and hope to Tebow (yes, tebow is a replacement for God) that the Eagles can sign either of these two players.

This has to be our year as Eagles fans. We have waited too frickin’ long for this to go down.

Let’s get this done.

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DeMeco Ryans-Newest Member of the Nest

Well, the Eagles finally fixed a glaring need for their defense this week when they traded for ex-Houston Texans middle linebacker, DeMeco Ryans. They will finally be able to stop the run, which ranked near the bottom in the NFL last year.

I am a HUGE DeMeco Ryans fan. When he was a Texan, I admired his tenacity, and desire for big plays even when he was a Texan.

He’s a monster of a linebacker, and I just gotta say one thing.

9 months ago, when the NFL free agency period started late due to the lockout, and Nnamdi Asomugha was the big man on the market, I predicted the Eagles would trade for a linebacker either last year or this year. I mentioned 3 names. Lofa Tatupu, Ryans’ teammate in Houston Brian Cushing, or Demeco himself.

Turns out I was right and I couldn’t be happier about this move. He is an instant starter. Time to get us a Super Bowl. There’s no choice to lose this time. It’s now or never.