Public Embarrassment

I recently became my school’s varsity soccer goalie and was super excited for my first game. 5 minutes in, I got shat on. The other team’s striker shot a huge floater from outside the box. I saw the ball coming and thought I could get to it with ease. As I saw the ball floating in, I sheepishly backed up letting the ball hit the net above my head.

What a bummer.

I needed to have a good performance to guarantee the starting job and that is NOT what that accomplished.

Soccer Goalkeeper Jumps and Saves Stock Footage Video (100% Royalty-free)  34953853 | Shutterstock
PC: Shutterstock

The helpless feeling of the ball floating over my head. The swish sound of the ball hitting the net. The collective sigh of our fans and players. I heard and felt it all. I punted the ball out of the net disgusted with myself. Heading back to the bench I put on a show, slamming my gloves into the ground, taking off my shirt, throwing my shin pads. I could feel the judgment from players who were complacent in the goal and wanted to tell them to chill out, in fact, when one teammate gave me a glare and said something to me I just said “please shut up”.

Anyway, I have a game today and am hoping for better performance.

Goals

I recently joined the soccer team. While at first I was intimidated by both the amount of running and the fact that I haven’t played soccer in 7 years, those nerves are now gone. They have been replaced by a deep sense of regret.

For most of the high school, I didn’t have the chance to play a “real” sport. My first high school didn’t offer league sports, just smaller less official sports teams. Thought I played everything, it wasn’t real. I didn’t feel the camaraderie of a team. Then I switched schools, excited about the possibility of playing sports.

Once the sports seasons started, I picked golf because it was my best sport. I have done golf for the last 3 sports seasons since I began and have enjoyed it. I got food at the golf course, didn’t have to run, and enjoyed playing with my closest friends at my new school. This was awesome, but something I regret.

Just a week into soccer and I am already regretting my decision/inability to not play a real team sport during high school.

Practicing with friends, running, making saves. I remember all of these things from youth sports and middle school, and I miss the feelings associated with them. I miss being part of a team and more than anything, I am scared that this is my last chance to be part of a team.

I am going to make the best of this opportunity and I’m gonna push to get the starting goalie position. I want this experience to be memorable, maybe there will be an in conclusion blog in a few months.

PC: Sports Illustrated