Silence


Silence.

The beginning and the end.

Space is filled with it.

ever-expanding and growing.

I can’t stand silence.

It makes me itch, uncomfortable in my own skin.

I grasp for the smallest of sounds, but only silence remains.

we take sound for granted, yet some who live without it miss out.

Though we have learned to repair this.

What I would give to hear sound for the first time again.

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Ch-Ch-Changes.

Sunflower

It’s funny how much things can change in a year. This time last May I was still learning how to drive, and today I was confidently driving to LAX on my own. Yes believe it or not I actually can drive. Ok, you may argue not properly but I think I’m pretty pro despite the general consensus among others.

Any way moving on, it’s amazing how much things change and how we change as people over the course of a year. How we grow in different areas, in my mind, is a miracle.

Looking at my self today I am in some ways unrecognizable. I have more confidence, am more mature and actually can see my self in an adult manner. In my eyes I believe I have grown out of that pre adulthood rebellion and am actually acting the age I am.

With my noticed personal growth this year I can’t wait to see what I become in this next year and what changes I undertake.

The Past is in the Past

It’s true. Sometimes, we just have to let go.

Life is a learning process. Learning about our limits, our purpose, our favorite types of candy, our soul mate, our best friends. We have been learning from the very beginning. We absorb the most knowledge in the first five years in our life. We learn how to recognize faces. We learn how to walk. We learn to smile when we are happy and frown when we are not. We learn from experience, from our mistakes.

 

But we also learn about avarice, heartache, anger, prejudice, hatred, poverty, and murder. And through the years and our experiences, these unwanted emotions begin to build, some changing us for the better, others blinding us from the positive things in life.

That is why I love this quote so much.

We must leave the past in the past. I am not saying that we must forget about our past completely. No. That would be unwise at the least; the past is what defines us and makes us individuals. It is our past that helps us learn and grow. But it is equally important to learn to move on, recognize our faults, and realize that tomorrow is different from yesterday and even today.

Leaving the past behind may be the hardest part, but life should not be bogged down by our past but rather influenced and benefitted from it.

Stressed out.

It’s only the 4th week of school. I have been here for less than 30 days.
IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE BEEN HERE FOREVER! AHHHH!

I love this school, and I especially love the people here. I love being here.

That being said, I REALLY wish that I could just take a break.
I know I am speaking for not just myself, but also a lot of my fellow classmates when I say THIS WORKLOAD IS STRESSFUL!

Never in my entire high school career have I worked as hard as I have worked this year. I even dropped a class because I realized that I would not be able to handle it. And still, every night, even on the weekends, I find myself working for hours on end and still not feeling satisfied with some of my work. I thought Friday and Saturday nights were for relaxing… Maybe I’m just crazy.

I know all of the teachers here really care about the students and really want them to learn. I am so thankful for that. I have learned a lot from every teacher I have had at this school. But being a good teacher and helping students learn does not mean assigning homework every night, even on the weekends, and assigning huge essays and projects with minimal time to complete them.

All of these homework assignments just keep building up and I cannot seem to find a way to escape. Even if I am proactive and do my homework days in advance before it is due, thinking this will help me manage my time better, I am always assigned something else.

I will be honest, I do know a lot of students – and even some of my close friends – slack off a lot and procrastinate. And once in a while, I do the same. But it is only because I can never catch a break otherwise. Whenever I have free time, I use it to sleep, catch up with my friends from home, call my parents, or watch a movie. Is it too much to ask to not have a homework overload every once in a while?

I wish teachers could see it from our perspective. Some of them don’t take into consideration that we all have at least 4 or 5 other classes to deal with each day and night. It becomes really overwhelming for us!

I am so stressed out. But, nothing I can do about it… except more homework!