Life

The thought of college is the only thing giving me the will to live, but actually doing the work to go to college is doing the exact opposite. I feel like the amount of work that students need to do to go to college is obscene. We have basically dedicated the past eighteen years of our lives just to get into college. Life feels like a never-ending cycle of doing work to be rewarded with even more work and responsibilities. After I finish college then I have to find an even harder job. I feel like I’m just not really a person who wants to have to do that. I’m sure that some people like their job, but I swear that the majority of people feel like it’s a little torturous. The world wasn’t made for people to be stuck in a strict daily schedule, but to live spontaneously and be free. Jobs definitely make people grow, but they also make people close-minded, a little brainwashed. I’m excited to finish high school, but really scared of the rest of my life.

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Stress

I’m done. This life is too stressful. I’m tired of literally everyone. I don’t want to have to explain anything to anyone. I don’t want anything to change. Why can’t I just leave it the way it is? Why does it have to become complicated? Let’s just leave it. But then you’ll start asking questions, why, how come, but why? I don’t know. You’ll have a better idea than I do, and it’s an issue that I have, so that should tell you something if you have a better understanding than I do. Part of me doesn’t even wanna do this thing anymore, but she said that change is good and I need to adjust and just go for it, but I just don’t want to. I can’t lol. This stresses me out, and I’d rather not than do. No one gets it, but whatever. That’s life, lowkey. So, yeah.

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Bordem

I’m so bored, there’s nothing to do in my house, no food, no activities, just my TV, cats, and dog. I’m also just lazy. I don’t want to do anything, lowkey I just want to chill, everyone’s always doing too much. Everyone in the world just needs to calm down, because it was never that deep. Back to the main point, I’m still bored, Friday night, nothing to do, just sleep or something. I don’t even know. I should go feed my animals, but my cats are so fat they don’t need any food. My dog is the one who needs food. He’s so skinny and white, not that it has anything to do with it, but just saying. He’s kind of ugly but in a cute way, but Akyra thinks he’s the ugliest thing to ever exist, which is mean. But anyway, I’m still bored. I guess I’ll watch a show, ok? Bye. 



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Rainy Day Shenanigans

I woke up with my mind racing of the dream that had woke me up. Half-asleep I forced myself out of bed into my normal morning routine which consists of 1, going to my parents room to say what’s up to my dog, 2 going into my room to shower and brush my teeth and finally 3, get dressed and leave.

However, this morning was different whether it was my cold shower being not so cold this morning, or the feeling of wearing a jacket to school for the first time this year. Today was different.

That was when I looked out my window to see water droplets had covered all the windows in my room. Then it hit me, last night was rainy. But I didn’t feel down because of the weather, not me, no this cat likes the rain. I ran outside with my wet hair and shoes untied and took a big nice American whiff of that rainy air.

I smiled ear to ear, with that rainy day smell in my body I knew today would be a great day.

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hoco makes me loco

This weekend I’m going to my friend’s homecoming, and I’m just really stressed out. I forgot that she had invited me two months ago, so I ordered my dress a week ago. It arrived yesterday, which is two days before, and I kind of hate it. I have so much work that I need to catch up on, and I feel like homecoming is just going to take over my weekend. I also have no idea what time the dance starts and ends, and I really don’t like not having plans. We are supposed to get ready with a group of girls before, and I have never met at least half of them, so that’s probably going to be awkward. Even though I’m nervous, I’m still excited because we are getting ready at our friend’s house, who is now in college, as her sister is having people over to get ready. My friends and I have already claimed to get prepared in our friend’s room, which is in college, because it would honestly be disrespectful if someone else who wasn’t us got ready in her room. I am manifesting that everything goes well tomorrow because I just see a lot of things that could go wrong.

Nostalgia

Nostalgia is by far one of the worst feelings ever, at least for me. I feel like I have nostalgia even when I’m living in the moment; it haunts me. Every time I go out or do something fun, I’m flooded with it. No matter if it’s a song, moment, or memory. I basically just unlock the vibe or the feeling I had during some time in the past. I don’t really know how to explain it. I can just feel how I felt in the moment when I think back on it. Just like smelling an old perfume or candle from a special time in your past. It makes you remember and miss everything so deeply.

I miss being little; it was such a special time in life. The nostalgia from when I was younger is the thing that truly haunts me the most, out of everything. I miss Christmas, or any holiday, and the feeling I had for them when I was younger. It’s so different now, and I’m changing so fast. I didn’t even realize that all those special times I had were gone. And I will never get to experience them again.

“Girl Sad” by Milada Vigerova/ CC0 1.0

Senior Slump

Junior year is famed with being the hardest year of high school. Since I finished my junior year I’ve been ecstatic to go back to something easier with my senior year. I was lied to.

Difficult schoolwork and intense memorization. Sports until the sun sets and games until my eyes droop. Senior Capstone and overwhelming deadlines. College essays and applications galore that I can’t keep track of. I’ve never been so overwhelmed before in my life.

At the end of my junior year I was giving up and not putting in good effort whatsoever. I assumed that the summer would regenerate my motivation like it had every other year, but no. I feel the exact same as I did last May. I go through the motions but don’t truly memorize work. I participate in sports at the expense of my energy and time spent on schoolwork. I procrastinate the Capstone because I keep telling myself I have five months to work. I write my college essays and fill out my applications. Is it good enough? Will all of my hard work finally pay off?

I don’t know how my senior year will play out yet but I do know it will be difficult. I hope to get back into the groove and stay consistent. I also hope that people will stop lying about junior year being the hardest because senior year surpasses it drastically.

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Mexican Parties

Over the summer, my sister turned 15, and since we are Mexican, she had a quinceañera! Her party wasn’t very traditional; it was in someone’s backyard, and it was planned a week before. Her dress was beautiful, but it wasn’t the traditional ball gown. It was sparkly and blue with many flowers. Although it wasn’t your typical quinceañera, it was still a long night full of fun!

This party was the last Mexican party I have been to. Mexican parties are very different from American parties. Every party I go to, the music is so loud I can hear it in my bones, and my heart beat is replaced by the tempo of the music. The dance floor is never empty; you can always count on someone’s drunk uncle or aunt to bust a move. Not to mention the food is always delectable. At my sister’s quinceañera, we had birria tacos, rice, beans, and tons of snacks. Birria is a stew with meat that is slow-cooked for multiple hours on end. The longer it is cooked, the better it is.

Parties are a group venture; they help bring the community together, especially quinces. We had about 10 people offer to buy stuff for the party, from the cake, to the table decorations, to even a mechanical bull. It was so much fun! I miss going to Mexican parties.

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Rise of AI: The Degredation of Passion

Within recent years, artificial intelligence capabilities have increased dramatically. It seems as though, through our efforts to improve and optimize every aspect of our lives with AI advancements, humanity is diminishing its ability to act for itself. Resultingly, artificial intelligence poses a risk to a variety of jobs, typically ones that are repetitive or data-intensive, such as data entry, analysis, and calculation-based jobs. While computer systems may be more “accurate” and “efficient” in performing these tasks, it contributes to the perception that humans are becoming obsolete, with the people in these jobs no longer having any use for the time and passion they poured into developing their skills.

By far, the most egregious modern implementation of artificial intelligence is with generative AI in creative fields. The primary reason why we as humans create art is our instinctive desire to express. All art forms, whether it be writing, drawings, or film, are products of the human imagination, fueled by the soul to encapsulate an individual’s vision in a tangible piece of media. While AI is once again more “efficient” in terms of time and labor, it lacks the passion and expression that drives humanity to create art in the first place.

The Rise Of Generative AI In 2025: Transforming Content, Art, And Design -  Boston Institute Of Analytics

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Weather

The weather often has a profound impact on one’s mood. Sunny days feel uplifting, while a cold and gloomy mood feels lazy and exhausting. Temperature shifts change the feeling of a day. The feeling of driving to school on a crisp, cloudy day feels nostalgic and calm. But driving to school in blistering heat feels draining. I haven’t decided my favorite season because I feel like they all have different memories and feelings attached to them. Summer is sweet and warm. Anytime I hear waves crashing against the beach or fireworks, I’m brought back to summers in the past. Fall feels like a fresh start, the school year is still new, and the weather starts to change. The taste of pumpkin and a feeling of nostalgia from summer in the air. Christmas is the best of all. The feeling that comes with Christmas time is unexplainable. Being a child and opening gifts on Christmas morning in pajamas. I would do anything to feel Christmas again as a child.

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