Tag: love

Happy Birthday Nan.

Yourcupatea1 Comment

My Nan is one of the most loving, generous, compassionate women ever known to mankind. She is a woman who will always put others interests before her own, and will always make the time listen to anyone’s woes and counsel them in her own way.

Although she has all these talents and more it is the way that she treats her family that makes her a shining jewel amongst the rubble of society. The time she invests in each and every one of our work and our personal growth. The time she spends reading her sons poetry proudly or reminiscing over the great dance or musical performances starring her grandchildren. The light that glimmers in my Nans eyes as she proudly speaks about her family’s achievements and the wide smile that spreads over her face as she laughs over their stupidity is a sight that will brighten anyone’s day.

Nan you mean the world to me and that is why I dedicate this blog to you.

You are the one who has taught me to pursue my passions and to follow what I believe in. From the days I first watched Holby City with you and decided to become a paramedic to now as I set out to become a journalist you have always been my driving force. In times of trouble you have helped me out and guided me through big decisions like moving to America. If it wasn’t for that chat you gave me one summer evening in 2010 on how I should give California a go and do it for my family, I can honestly say I would have struggled to leave.

It was so lovely when you visited in April 2011. You were the first to come, out of our family, and this took a lot of bravery. Your presence at Meher Mount meant so much to us and we all look forward to you visiting again in the next few years. I’m glad you had the chance to admire our new life and realize you still have a significant place in both our lives and our hearts.

You find so much joy and happiness in life and nature. You aluminate the light in our world throughout the darkness and make everything special in your own description. I love the way you seek so much pleasure in the changing colors of the leaves and the seasonal changes in your surroundings.

As I start to consider my career path and colleges I bear in mind if it would have your approval. Just as Dad said over Christmas that every house your children move to must be approved by you, I feel that often I find myself seeking your approval on big changes in my life. This is because you’re a great guide who speaks truthfully and reasonably and that is why I am going to do my best to make you proud throughout my life.

Happy 80th Birthday Nan, I am sorry I will not be there to celebrate. All my love.

Bex, Georgie and Nan at the beach

Butterflies, Again

yrreskrap1 Comment


Fingertips feel numb. Palms feel cold. Stomach feels light. Head feels warm.

I welcome this unease.

Two become one from 2,000 to none in perhaps less than seven.

Which makes me worry. I don’t get hungry anymore.

I welcome this unease.

I won’t be unfaithful, but I might stray. I might stray. No, only for a minute. But it is always you. Something always brings me back to you…unwillingly, powerfully, endearingly, courageously, always.

I welcome this unease.

Let the butterflies consume my heart when I see you again. Let them take over. Let them feast. Feast until they have had their fill, and more. So it will last me until our next unspoken encounter.

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder…

yrreskrap1 Comment


Everybody told me that long distance would be trouble. That it would hurt. That it wouldn’t be worth all the stress–especially during my senior year.

But I, being the stubborn love-struck puppy I was, didn’t listen. Nope. I didn’t want to believe what people said, so I didn’t. I told myself that it would be easy.

Now, here I am sitting in my room in Ojai, California. 2643.071 miles away from my boyfriend of two and a half years.

It’s funny. In the beginning, I had kind of wished Kai was a recluse that veered away from any female contact.

But again, the beginning was the hardest part. The time difference made it even worse. He was already at school when I would wake up most days and by the time study hall ended, it was around 12:30 in the morning where he was.

And boy, would we argue. Over the most minuscule things. I argued because we were so far. He argued because of the time difference. We argued because we missed each other. We argued. And. We argued.

I began to wonder if they were right. If long distance was too much for me to handle. It seemed, with all my college applications and school work, that they might be right.

But, as much as we fought and as much as I hated the distance, I did not want to give up.

And I didn’t. Things got better, and I honestly don’t think that long distance is all that horrible. Sure, it takes a while to get used to but if you love him (or her), all of those frustrations–those initial arguments, getting used to the time difference–was worth the greater moments when I would get to hear his voice on the phone or see his face on Skype.

I still miss him dearly and love him so much. And I don’t regret choosing to be in this long distance relationship with him. He makes me happy although I don’t get to be with him nearly as much as I did last year which turned out to be a good thing. I have more time for friends and more importantly, when I do get to see him, it makes it all the more special. It’s almost like we just started dating. There isn’t anybody I’d rather have than him.

So let me tell you from my experience that eventually, distance truly does make the heart grow fonder.

An Inner Battle.

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Eagle
Sometimes there’s only so much you can do when the world is crumbling at your feet. Despite the pain, fear and distress you have to fight through no matter what. Those down days we experience are for a reason, feel them, feel the loneliness, feel the hurt, but at some point you have to come out the other end, not feeling sorry for yourself.

Since my sister left I have felt down and weary. I missed England, I missed my life, I missed everything. As I began to climb into the deep slumber of regret and sadness I forgot about everything else. Not wanting to be where I was, everyday became a greater chore. My life in California became a chore.

So as everything slipped away I thought it was about time to suck it up and not give up the fight. Driving home from school, my windows wound down, my music blaring, the sky serenely blue, the mountains picturesque on the horizon and an eagle circling overhead, I couldn’t help but to love life.

Sometimes letting go is hard but you often have to realize the good things you have in the present to gradually push away the past.


The Invention of Caring.

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love

As I stood watching my sister and mother embrace for the last time, I couldn’t help but feel touched. Tears streamed down their faces and they hung to each other in an attempt to cherish their last moments together.

Just like that first day when she kicked and screamed to go to play group, her first day at school, and her first fulltime job, my sister was again crying unwilling to leave our mothers side. Except this time the 11 hour flight left them separated by distance.

A phone call can mean so much but when you know someone’s so far away your heart yearns for that person to be next to you, filling the gaping hole that waits in their place.

A mother is not just someone you went to school with, or someone who you met on train, or even just a relative. She is someone who you grew inside and was nurtured by. She is the person that taught you to walk, took you to school, made you pack lunches. She is the person that loves you unconditionally no matter what.

Those days that I hear my sister cry because she misses our mums cooking or even just misses her company is heart wrenching. Tears down a phone line hurt and cut both my mum and sister to pieces, but tears face-to-face damage them so much deeper.

Watching my sister and mother embrace for the last time, I couldn’t help but to care.

Do good anyway

thehungryrunnergirl1 Comment

What is kindness? Why are you kind to others? Because you want to be treated the same way? Because you want to be recognized as a nice person? Why can’t people express their love and kindness freely without any complicated emotions?

I think true kindness is not seeking anything in return but wishing others happiness from the bottom of your heart.

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of Selfish, Ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be Honest and Frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
”

– Mother Teresa

I felt the strength and warmth from this quote.

I feel like a lot of people seek it in return when they did something good to others. But what if you could give love to anyone without expecting them to give it back? Wouldn’t that be nice?

If you think carefully, don’t you feel happy when you’re doing something for someone regardless of the return? Well, I do. When I make someone smile, it just makes me happy.

SO DO GOOD ANYWAY!

Translation:
“Thought” is not visible to anyone.
”Thoughtfulness” is able to be seen.
“Heart” is not visible to anyone.
”Warm-heartedness” is able to be seen.

Epic Baby Face

bedghostLeave a comment

Lets pretend all is wrong in your life like late bills, girl/boy dumped you, didn’t clean your room because you were lazy, parents are not on the same vibe, etc… Do you ant to know what gets me throught the day during trouble times? Watching funny baby videos…

Yep it works! 100% of the time!

Try watching and tell me your day got better.

Charley Bit my Finger – again

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Worth it.

theycallmedameLeave a comment

Let me start by saying I have great friends at OVS, I really do. I have met fabulous people here that I truly love.

But there are very few people I would drive a total of three hours for just to see them for half of that. Friday night I did just that for two of my very closest friends.

I have known Tucker and Eyad for two years now, all thanks to Power Chord Academy (or as I like to refer it as: Band Camp).

Tucker and Eyad are two people who just seem to understand me. And I realize how horribly cliche that sounds coming from a teenager, but it’s the only way I can describe it. They understand how I work, how I tick, and they love me for it.

I don’t have to watch myself around them. I don’t have to worry about what to say and what not to say, or how big their personal bubble is. I don’t have to think about it at all. I can just throw away all my worries and simply be me.

And that means the world to me.


Tucker

Eyad

I love you guys, I really do, and I don’t know where I’d be without you right now.

You Are My Sweetest Downfall…

yrreskrap2 Comments

I am obsessed with the song Samson by Regina Spektor. Ask my roommate, she knows.

What I love the most about the song is not the beautiful, velvety vocals but the lyrics (to be specific, the meaning behind them).

It tells the story of Samson through the eyes of Delilah, his deceitful wife. Samson was blessed by God with incredible strength (he could even kill a lion with his bare hands). With that strength, Samson fought off wicked people and God was pleased. Samson was good. He was obedient and he loved God. So, God promised Samson his strength as long as he never cut a hair off his head.

Delilah had given into sin by accepting the bribes of the Philistines. Blinded by money, she sought to find Samson’s ultimate weakness and to bring about his downfall. Every night, he incessantly asked her husband where his shortcomings lied. But every night, Samson gave her the wrong answer. After being given the answer, Delilah called the Philistines to her house to attack her husband, just to have Samson fight them off.

Finally, one night, Delilah got to him. She had told him that if he truly loved him, he would confide in her.

and he did.

Samson lost his hair that night and Delilah sold her husband to the Philistines. Tied to a pillar in their palace, Samson watched as the Philistines celebrated with a feast. Samson, deceived, guilt welling up in his chest cavity, prayed to God for one last chance. He asked for forgiveness and he asked for his strength. And for the last time, Samson got up and used his power to break the pillar that he was tied against, killing all inside the building, including himself.

This story is particularly moving to me because it shows how easily mankind can fall into sin’s trap. Everyday, the story of Samson lives on in every one of us. We are the deceived but more often, we are the deceivers.

Once you branch off from the straight path, like a tree that has grown crooked, you can never go back and straighten in out again. The past will always remain in the past. But life’s goal is to turn back once a mistake has been made. You must live and learn. Let the present be something you will never regret.

Are You There God?

sennymcflyLeave a comment

Faith is the journey continued in hopes of finding the end

it is the belief that after years of hard work, finger breaking there will come rest

There is faith in mothers that they will nurture us

there is faith in fathers that they will protect us

there is faith in lovers that they will love us

But, what faith have I in someone else’s religion?

What do you believe?

I believe in love

love can’t be taught or preached

it can’t be written or spoken, not published, or broadcasted

I have faith in love