Tag: personal

That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

beetlejus1 Comment

I’m not going to apologize for my humor anymore.

 My whole life I’ve had a very dry and edgy sense of humor, and with it I have attracted many close friends and also a couple enemies.  I was the most sarcastic kid on the playground, often getting in little fights with the kids around me because of this.

Back in my salad days, as Shakespeare would call them, I didn’t understand why people would get so worked up about my jokes.  As I got older, I realized my sense of humor was more mature than the people around me. 

When they were still on bathroom jokes, I had moved on to bigger things.  I would impersonate celebrities and my teachers, I would make jokes about current events, it was smart humor but my classmates never got it. 

I was no class clown though.  I was fairly quiet in class, always paying attention and raising my hand.  At lunch though, I was on fire.  I would come up with little sketches that I would then act out to my unwilling group of friends.  I remember I had one about Panda Express that was a big hit.  I don’t remember what is was about at all but it was quoted for weeks.

When I got to middle school, things changed.  Maybe it was my sudden realization that I could be judged for being “out there.”  My proudest moment in middle school was in the 7th grade.  The 7th grade was a god awful year for me and honestly drowning is probably better than 7th grade but it did have one shining moment.

 For the first year in my middle school’s history they would be having a play. Not a musical, but a play. 

I was so pumped it was unbelievable.  When I would talk about the play people probably wondered who the hell gave this 13 year old girl so much sugar, but it wasn’t sugar I was high off of, it was the theatre. Cheesy as that sounds, it rang very true for 13 year old, slightly chubby me. 

When I first auditioned I was scared out of my mind.  I found out there was only 10 parts in the show we were doing and only 3 of those parts were for girls.  I did my best in the audition, which wasn’t surprising because I always do my best in the things I really care about.

A week later, when the cast list came out, I screamed.  I screamed out of joy because I got in.  I Lily, the awkward, sometimes accidentally insulting, braces wearing girl got into a real play.  Of course the play was awful, as you would expect it to be since the cast was completely made out of middle school outsiders, but I thought it was amazing.  I thought I was amazing. 

Every single show, when I heard laughs from the audience because of something I said, it filled me with so much joy.   At the cast party, the director gave out little speeches to all of the young actors.  When it came to my turn to be praised, the director simply told me how funny I could be.  It made a huge impact on me.

Never had I actually been told I was funny. I just told jokes and would occasionally get laughs. 

In high school I was on the improv team and would get up on stage every week.  I began to write little comedy scenes for myself and keep them in a file on my computer.  

Comedy is something really important to me, and I’ve started using it as a cover for the real things I’m feeling.  I am not defined as a person by the jokes I tell so stop judging me for my humor. 

Credit to NBC

Chocolate or Vanilla?

lanative1Leave a comment

“There comes a time in life when you have to make a choice. Of course, these times are not rare; however, some are far more difficult than others. Deciding what ice cream flavor to get becomes easier with time- it was a lot harder to decide when you were 6 than it probably is now. All choices become easier with time and a bit of perspective.”

That’s the last thing I wrote in my journal (if you call it a diary, I will find you, and I will typewriter you), and I’ve decided that instead of finishing it there, I’ll continue here. I’m trying to achieve a sort of trust between myself, my work, and you, the reader. Whoever you may be.

Writing about your own personal feelings is a gamble, especially at this school. Lately, I’ve felt like everything I say, not just around school officials, but also around friends, is judged and is unsafe. A lot of trust is being breached, and before almost everything I say, I have to make a choice, and sometimes it becomes extremely hard. The choice is whether or not I will share information with the friend, and how it will affect our relationship, and how it might hurt me if he/she told someone else.

Why do I have to be faced with this choice every single time I talk to someone? Is that the ideal community that was pitched to me when I applied here? I guess every big family comes with problems, but I never knew that I would have to feel so regulated. Everything said seems to have to go along with the rules, even in private conversation, and that’s honestly terrifying. Even writing this is a risk- will I get in trouble for expressing my feelings? I guess that’s a gamble I’m willing to take.

Now, I am faced with a really big choice. I’m not going to articulate what it is, because I know teachers read this, and I really don’t think they want to know about my personal life (assuming they’ve figured out who I am). But what I can say about it is that it will make or break me, if I let it. I’m stuck in a mind-set that it will break me, and I know that I need to get past that and find the strength inside of myself to say I’ll make it through no matter what I choose. But I guess that wouldn’t make it the hardest choice.

I’m trying to get some perspective on this choice, but every angle, every new piece of information just makes it harder. Maybe I have to stop over complicating it and just choose. Wish me luck, I guess. May the odds be ever in my favor?

Ignore that. One Hunger Games reference is too much.

Photo Credit: http://www.sodahead.com

TUMBLR!

rangerthecat1 Comment

I have had a Tumblr quite a while now. At first, it was a website that I would go on only if I had absolutely nothing else to do and I was just in bed, feeling lazy. Now, it has become a daily part of my life that I am getting more and more addicted to.

Tumblr is a social networking and blogging site. Like Facebook, each member has their own page where they post and share things. Following someone means that all of their posts will show up on your dashboard, which is kind of like a personalized home page different from every other members, because it has a different collection of things.

People write stories and post videos, but Tumblr is mostly filled with a plethora of photos. It is filled with photos of EVERY THING IMAGINABLE. And a lot of GIFs which are a cross between a little video and photo; it’s like a moving picture that has about 5 to 10 frames, generally speaking.

Now, Tumblr is not just somewhere to mindlessly and aimlessly look at photos of cool stuff and read funny little remarks. It’s a place to discover new things. I follow all different kind of blogs, including fan pages to my favorite shows, health blogs, self-improvement blogs, blogs for fashion, blogs for beauty, blogs for cute guys, blogs for bands/artists or music in general, blogs that post photos of animals. I even follow a blog dedicated to cats. But a blog can also just be a compilation of everything that interests the poster. I see a lot of things that I have never seen before and learn cool facts that I had not known about my favorite celebrities, bands, or shows.

One thing I really like about Tumblr is that for me, at least, it is reserved mostly for people that I don’t know. This way, I don’t have to be afraid of posting something people will criticize or annoy me about. Tumblr is sort of like special insight into my mind, and sometimes I would rather the people close to me stay a bit distanced from that.

It is just one of those awesome websites that I can’t live without… No, really, I like it that much. It’s an awesome way to pass the time and find out about cool, new things. If you don’t have one, I really suggest you get one! That is, if you’re not worried about falling into the Tumblr trap like I did and fall in love with it!

Dead Toenails and My Lovely Roommate!

yrreskrap1 Comment

Today, two of my toenails fell off after my final season of track here at Ojai Valley School.

My roommate and I were talking about this to our coach (thebrownguy) and we were discussing how it is almost a badge of honor to have toenails that fall off. It shows our character and dedication in running, that despite the pain that comes with running, we give it our all.

My roommate’s toenail fell off a few days ago.

Now, let me tell you, this girl can run.

She was a new student this year and came to take advantage of the track team at our school. Her previous school did not have track as a sport. Now, for a girl who had no prior official track team training, she did fantastic.

My roommate broke several personal records, brought home multiple first place medals, broke a meet record, and even took the title of Condor League MVP this season. But this is not the crowning point in her high school track career. She ran at the CIF preliminary meet, placed second in her heat, and qualified for finals.

She is one of the most dedicated people I know. And dedication is not something you can fake. When I look at her run, its inspiring. The way she pushes herself to the hardest during practice and the way she takes such tender care of her feet afterwards is just fantastic. There is nobody I know that is as dedicated as her. And all of that dedication stems from her pure love for the sport. She loves running. And that is what makes her good.

Now, my roommate can be hard on herself sometimes but I hope when she reads this, she realizes how great she actually is.

She will only get better as she gets older. College is going to be fantastic for you. I just can’t wait to see how well you do, even in your first year in college. I know you will go on to do such great things!

And so back to the topic of toenails. Now that we have established them to be badges of honor, you deserve to have all of your toenails fall off.

I love you thehungryrunnergirl!