That time you found me on the ground, reaching for my inhaler, you picked me up and tossed me into the car. We drove to the hospital and arrived at 3am, but had to wait until 7am until we could go inside. I struggled with every breath, and with every breath I would think “finally…”
The times I was in a speeding car, watching the door handle, wondering whether or not it would open by some luck of fate. Perhaps the turn would be too sharp, or maybe my dog would jump onto it.
I lived on a tall building all my life. I often liked to look over it and wonder how long I’d feel the pain if I fell down. The window was tall though, and it would be difficult to trip and fall through.
Sometimes I’d walk through my woods. I called it my woods because nobody else bothered to explore it. I saw wolves, bears and mountain lions, but they all ran from me. Why would you run from me? Couldn’t you easily kill me? Wouldn’t you want to?
Old buildings were also fun to explore. The floors were old and rickety, and I often found myself stepping on particularly thin boards hoping to fall through. I was too light, that’s what everyone said, and the boards would creak and moan but I never did fall through.
I kept waiting for accidents. My aim is to disappear off the earth completely with no trace to follow or mourn over.
Guess I’ll have to keep trying.