i think about you everyday.
sometimes i welcome those thoughts.
sometimes i try to push them
as far into the back of my mind as possible.
today i’m choosing the latter,
but lately i haven’t had much success.
i loved you so much i hated you.
i hated the way i forgot about
once you started to speak.
i hated the way you asked me how i was
and the way you looked at me
because it made me break
into a million pieces.
i hated you because you were kind and
because now matter how hard i tried
you would never see how
every little thing you did made me
fall in love with you.
i hope you read this.
and i hope you wonder if it might be about you.
i hope you second-guess yourself,
like i always did,
and i hope you replay
every image you have of us
to see if you can find any similarities
between my words and your memories.
maybe then you’ll miss me.