There is something deeply fascinating in the looks people give no one but themselves.
Right after you drive by someone smiling, waving out the window.
And it’s unbearable eye contact with yourself in the rearview mirror.
So deeply it cuts, your focus lands into your own conscious
Like staring through the viewfinder
And as you rotate your hand the background comes into focus
your eye lands upon your own face staring back at you
And you can’t figure out why you might look so sad
I think I ignore myself so often that sometimes when I happen a glance in a mirror
It can actually be scary
Is that a function of me forgetting to be introspective?
Maybe focusing so much about what other people think of me
That I don’t think of me
I want more than anything to capture those moments
In other eyes
So that maybe I could make someone think of themselves
So that maybe they might glance into their own eyes
And horrify themselves
To allow for excruciating introspection
And to showcase
or maybe even just to see
those moments of introspection.
The moments where instead of looking out
Your vision rests precariously on the inside of your eye
That would be a good portrait
The kind of portrait I want to take
But I have to figure out how first.