Author: smackyjackjack

Captain Apathy

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Captain Apathy was in his Lair of Indifference when the apathy meter went in to overdrive.

“Good lord!” The Captain said as he read the meter.  “The museum is on fire! I’m going to make myself a sandwich.”

After Captain Apathy ate his sandwich he took a lackadaisical stroll down to the museum.

“Captain Apathy!” The museum curator said. “Where have you been?! The museum is almost gone!!”

“Meh.” Grunted the Captain.

“Well, are you going to do anything to save what’s left?” The curator said.

“I mean…I could.”

“Well would you?!”

“Ughhhhhhhhh, FINE.”

Captain Apathy slowly walked towards the almost burnt down museum.

“Hurry up Captain!! Try to save the Picassos!” The curator turned to his assistant. “Dammit, why couldn’t this town have gotten a normal superhero?”

Captain Apathy stumbled through the flames into the lobby of the Museum. He looked at the map to see how to get to the art wing, but saw directions to the food wing instead.

“Ooh! Food wing!”

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Propositions, Elections, and Other Doozies

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Well, I suppose its time for me to go off on the elections.

First of all, well done America. You did the best you could in a two party system (there’s  always Jill Stein though).

But (and this is all aimed at you California), what the hell.

Okay, I might need to quickly remind voters that you should research what you’re voting on before you actually vote. This is so you don’t just read the little blurb on the ballot and make a quick decision.

Let’s talk props.

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Desert Island

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In one of my last blogs I mentioned one of my Desert Island albums. Desert Island albums are the albums you would take with you if you were stranded on a desert island and only had a record player (for some reason).

Firstly, there are a couple of rules. You only get six (I don’t know why it’s six. Why not?), and you can’t take any greatest hits.

Well, you’re reading this post so I’ll tell you what my five would be.

1.   Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys (1966)

Everything about this album flows. The harmonics are perfect, as well as the instrumentals. The first time you hear it, everything on the track just sounds like ts one beautiful voice. Then you listen to it a bit closer and realize how much of a genius Brian Wilson is because there are honks, rattles, squeaks and all sorts of other noises that rocket this album into my desert island list (little side note, track number two is in running for the greatest song of all time).

2.   High Voltage, AC/DC (1976)

Well, first of all, there are no words for how much I love AC/DC. So we’ll just leave that at that. If this album were a book, it would be a bible of some sort. Every single song on it just oozes rock and roll. These guys get it. All of it. Seriously, they aren’t leaving anything out. If you claim to love rock and roll and don’t have this album dipped in gold and set on your mantle piece…you crazy.

3.   Super Blues, Bo Diddley/Muddy Waters/Otis Spann/Little Walter (1967)

Right there, in big yellow letters, on the front of the album-“JOIN FORCES”. Well, they certainly did. And in a big way. Four of the biggest names in 60’s era blues decided one day that they wanted to try and bring an end to space and time by creating the greatest blues album in the history of…well, everything. They almost succeeded. Luckily, someone had the balls to tell them that they should split their tremendous talents into two albums (See Super, Super Blues). This is another one of those must have albums. It’s blues at its finest. Go get it. Please.

4. Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones (1972)

Did you go get Super Blues? Good. Well, if you’re done trying to figure the album cover to “Exile” out, you can stop. You never will. Besides being the sound track for every awesome movie ever, the songs on this album are timeless (in that, they will never be unappreciated). Rocks off, Ventilator Blues, Rip This Joint,  Happy, Shake Your Hips…you’ve all heard these songs. How could you not? Anyone with a brain loves the Rolling Stones and this is their greatest album (sorry all you beggars)

5.   The White Album, The Beatles (1968)

I’m fairly sure I don’t have to say anything to justify this.

6.   De Stijl, The White Stripes (2000)

Lastly, and most controversially, is De Stijl. I’m sure this is kind of an edgy pick and that there are plenty of better albums out there, but hey…it’s Jack White. And, as we all know, he’s just the best. He brings everything to the table. He manages to take hundred year old blues songs, new punk songs he’s written, new blues, new rock, new country and just make it work. Other than being one of my favorite musicians ever…..I’m not really sure how to end that sentence. He’s simply the best. And hey, Meg can hold a tune too. In her own way.

Okay, those are my picks. What are yours?

Blues-y Blues

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In the past, I’ve blogged about all-time greatest guitar player Robert Johnson. But I mean, its pretty hard to cover the blues in just one blog. In this one, I’ll try to go over just a few of my favorite blues players.

Firstly, I want to just bring up Sister Rosetta Tharpe. If you could, picture Chuck Berry as a Baptist woman. Except instead of an ES3-35, she had an SG. Yeah. Like this guy.

It’s pretty hard to get much cooler than Angus Young or Sister Tharpe. Set your sights high kids! Don’t believe me?


Now you do.

Now, I always think about what my “desert island” albums would be (5 albums I can take to be stranded on a desert island with), and they always change. But one constant is Super Blues.

Muddy Waters, Bo Diddley, Little Walter and Otis Spann. I really don’t see what else needs to be said about this album. If you don’t have it, go get it. Well, I mean, only if you like music I guess.

Okay, one last person, but just because his new album just came out. Gary Clark Jr. takes the cake for one of the best NEW blues artists going right now. Blak and Blu came out on Oct. 25th, and, consequently, is the only album I’ve ever pre-ordered.  Clark has some serious soul in this album, swinging between R&B to old school blues. Go get it, but here’s a taste (at the Crossroads festival no less).

Country!

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You have to hand it to them, country music singers can say some pretty stupid stuff.

That right there is one of my favorite clips on youtube. When even the three stooges on Fox and Friends make weird faces at what you say, you know you’ve got some problems.

But other than the F-150-driving, ‘Murica-loving xenophobes like Hank Williams Jr. and Toby Keith country has some pretty awesome musicians. Hank Williams SENIOR, Jimmie Rodgers and even, to a point, Johnny Cash know how to carry a tune.  As far as the greatest songs of ALL TIME go, I’m so lonesome I could cry is up in the top three. TB Blues makes it up there too (just go listen to the slide on that song).

As far as “new” country goes (I put new in italics because it’s not really new), BR5-49 takes the cake as the best. This type of country can be enjoyed by every Prius driving, Cafe Late drinking xenophobe who likes good music. Just…forget about Hank Williams Jr. and listen to some good country.

V for Vendetta

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I’ve blogged about some of my favorite movies before, but I have yet to mention one of my favorite movies of all time. V for Vendetta is the story of a dystopian United Kingdom  that is dominated by a fascist and citizen-censoring political party. The film’s protagonist, V, wears a Guy Fawkes mask to honor his hero…Guy Fawkes.

Now, I just want to say one thing before I continue talking about the film. As  much as I respect Guy Fawkes for protesting a government he considered to be immoral, his motives have to be questioned. I mean, all he really was was a religious fanatic.  I’m not very…keen on those.

Now back to V for Vendetta. The film is incredible for a couple of reasons. The acting is obviously amazing. Natalie Portman is at her A game. This is by far her best preformance in a movie.  Hugo Weaving (yes, the elf from Lord of the Rings) delivers an unparallelled performance as V. We could read pretty far into this and say that his performance (as well as Alan Moore’s genius) sparked one or two movements in the world.

That’s the final reason why I love this movie. The film’s message is one that is deeply important today. “By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.” This is V’s peronal motto. It encompasses the film’s incredible message. The truth will come out about governments, and when it does, the people will fight back. In this modern day, there are many V-like figures. These are the men who are making a difference in today’s world, and the ones who are making the world more transparent.

Sierra Solo

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The LATimes has always been where I go to get my news, but today they had a story (read it here) that really amazed me.

It was part of LATimes Framework, which, for those of you who don’t know, is the multimedia section of the newspaper. This means that it had photos and a video documenting the task Mary Breckenridge undertakes every year.

Breckenridge crosses the High Sierras every year by way of the Mono Pass Trail with only her horse and two mules. That, by the way, is something that sounds incredible and that I have to do. The Sierras are home to the most dramatic landscape in California. The reason this story resonated so much with me is because of the way Breckenridge described being alone in the wilderness.

She described it using transcendentalism and just as having that feeling of being connected with everything else. I mean, I’ll be the first to say that I think the idea of God and spirits and all of that is hooey, but being alone in the backcountry really makes one feel like they belong out there. At least, that’s what I get from it.

The video that is on the article is incredible as well. The photography, voiceover and content is very moving. I suggest you all go watch it.

Influential Oldies

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It’s safe to say I was born into the wrong decade.

If I could pick a time to grow up in, it would be the 1920s-30s.  My favorite music comes from around then.

The king of blues, and pretty much music, was around in the twenties and thirties. Robert Johnson, or the greatest and most influential guitar player to date recorded most of his music in 1936. When you hear him play, you hear just how ahead of his time he was. This is either because of how good he was, or because everyone has copied his style. Even Cream capitalized on his success. If you ask any successful guitar player who influenced them, you can trace it all the way back to Robert Johnson, because he started it all.

My other favorite blues guitar player from around then was Robert Johnson’s old friend Son House. Son House…was Son House. He kind of just recorded what he wanted when he wanted. Screw rhythm, Son House is playing. “Grinnin’ in your Face” is basically just him clapping around the beat and singing off key and tempo. But, it’s still a top twenty five song…ever. Death Letter Blues combines is stomping, clapping and singing with some slide guitar. How bad could that be?

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Richard Dawkins

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I have three heroes.

One of them, Julian Assange, I have already blogged about.

My second hero is Richard Dawkins.

Richard Dawkins is an evolutionary biologist who has become the spearhead of the atheist and humanist movements. His best selling book, The God Delusion, states that not only is God not real, but a belief in a supernatural creator is a delusion.

As an evolutionary biologist, Dawkins has the job of explaining how it is that people made it in to existence. Because he does this in a logical and intelligent way, he gets hassled by some of my favorite people; religious people.

Dawkins has been featured on many shows, including Real Time with Bill Maher, defending his stance on religion. If there is one thing that Dawkins knows how to do, its deal with religious people.

Religion is one of my favorite topics. It baffles me that some (well, a lot) of people can believe in such nonsense. Dawkins does an extraordinary job of telling the truth. This is why he is my hero. Truth is the one thing that cannot be hidden forever, and Dawkins is merely one of the people showing the lies for what they are. All of this has been done by one old, badass, biologist.

dawk

Eastern Sierras

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This past week, my outdoor education group and I went on an excursion to the Eastern Side of the Sierras.

We backpacked into the cottonwood lakes, as well as another lake with a name that should probably not be repeated on this blog.

Upon reaching our final camping spot (South Fork Lakes), we were all astounded by the view the scenery and view that the lake had to offer. The campsite was positioned right next to a beautiful lake with Golden Trout swimming around peacefully, deer hanging out with their newborns, and some noisy coots. To top it off, a short hike over a hill would lead to this…

We all got up early in the morning to see the sunrise on our first night there. The view was alright.

The highlight of the trip for me was backpacking past an old cabin that was used in the 19th century for either fur trappers or something along those lines. It stood out to me because I was reading a book about the (in)famous Kit Carson, one of America’s greatest mountain men and fur trappers. The cabin stood about four feet tall and was right next to a small river with plenty of California’s state fish.

On our trip, we went in as a group of four students that never really hung out together, or talked to each other much, but by the end of the trip we knew each other even better than any of us expected.

Strangely enough, our sport ends early. We are all going to have to join some other sport that, to me, will not be nearly as fulfilling (no offense Mr. Alvarez). There’s something about the back-country that cannot be replicated anywhere else. It is unique to each person that experiences it, and will continue to be for as long as it’s there. My advice? Go see it quickly.