Captain Apathy

Captain Apathy was in his Lair of Indifference when the apathy meter went in to overdrive.

“Good lord!” The Captain said as he read the meter.  “The museum is on fire! I’m going to make myself a sandwich.”

After Captain Apathy ate his sandwich he took a lackadaisical stroll down to the museum.

“Captain Apathy!” The museum curator said. “Where have you been?! The museum is almost gone!!”

“Meh.” Grunted the Captain.

“Well, are you going to do anything to save what’s left?” The curator said.

“I mean…I could.”

“Well would you?!”

“Ughhhhhhhhh, FINE.”

Captain Apathy slowly walked towards the almost burnt down museum.

“Hurry up Captain!! Try to save the Picassos!” The curator turned to his assistant. “Dammit, why couldn’t this town have gotten a normal superhero?”

Captain Apathy stumbled through the flames into the lobby of the Museum. He looked at the map to see how to get to the art wing, but saw directions to the food wing instead.

“Ooh! Food wing!”

The sandwich had left him still wanting more food, so the Captain reasoned that the fire could wait a couple more minutes, so he went over to the food court and made himself some more food.

Completely forgetting about what he had to do, the Captain walked back outside to the curator with a hotdog in his hand.

“Captain! Did you save any of the paintings??” The curator asked.

“Oh. Right.” Captain Apathy said. “No. Not really.”

As the Captain returned to his lair with a full belly, the sun set over the charred remains of  the museum. Captain Apathy had had another successful day not fighting crime or helping anyone do anything. Today was a good day, he thought.

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