Finals got you down?

Here are ten ways to cope with your impending doom!

1.) Dig a hole. I mean, a really deep hole. Once you have dug said hole, lay in it. I’m not telling you to die there or anything, that’s entirely optional. If you need some motivation, think about your math final, and how you have literally never taken any notes at all.

(Click here for more info. on digging a proper grave.)

2.) Scream really, really loudly. Freak out your neighbors. Go ahead. You know you hate them. Do you even know their names? Of course not.

3.) Lay on the floor for a little bit and relive every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done. Come on. You know you want to. (At least more than you want to worry about finals.)

4.) Take a shower and maybe lay on the floor for a little bit. Might as well.

5.) Draw a chalk box on the concrete and sit in it. Everything around you is lava, except what’s inside that box. Don’t believe me? Your finals are located outside of that box.

6.) Get in a fight with someone who cares about you. It will 100% take away all focus from your finals. Unless you are really underprepared, like yours truly, in which case there is no hope.

7.) Go for a run. Plan to run to the nearby Starbucks. Run further. Run too far. Run way too far. Let the sun set, go somewhere creepy, and wait to be kidnapped. Foolproof. You think being kidnapped is too scary? FINALS.

8.) Do you have any allergies? Now is the time to thank whatever forces blessed you with them. Allergic to cats? Go lick one. Hug it. Rub it on your face. Peanut butter? Really dig into a nice jar of Jif and thank me later.

9.) Find a trustworthy friend, and kindly ask them to push you down some stairs.  If they are skeptical, here is a note from a trustworthy source (me) on why this is a good idea:

Dear friend, don’t hold back. It’s for their own good. Don’t believe me? Check their notes. Yes, that is a sketch of Justin Bieber pre-Gomez. No, there are no notes on the Aeneid in there. Keep looking, I promise.

10.) Or you could, like, study or something.

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Sunday Nights

What’s worse than Sunday?

The impending doom of Monday morning lurking around the corner, homework piling up by the minute.

How about waking up on Sunday and thinking it’s Saturday? The stomach drop when your phone blinks with “Sunday” is the equivalent of reading the saddest book ever, twice.

And, even though Sunday mornings are bad, nothing is worse than Sunday night.

Sweet Dreams Please!
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And don’t even get me started on Monday mornings.

Tyson… Chicken?

Behold –

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Recently, one of the top meat producers in the U.S. invested in a new vegan meat producer, Beyond Meat.

But why?

It would seem that there is a new wave of vegetarianism, and I must say that I am in favor. It’s not only the thought of sweet, innocent animals that makes me happy to hear about this, but also my knowledge of the effects of the meat industry on the planet.

And aside from that, who can argue with more (delicious) options in the freezer aisle? I, personally, love food.

And who can argue with more of it?

The Magic of Cats

Have you ever pet a cat?


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really pet a cat?

I mean, yeah, sure, you’ve pet a dog.

But dogs are easy. Dogs, for the most part, will waltz up to strangers, tails wagging, eyes bright, and ready to be loved on. Anyone can pet a dog.

But cats are altogether different Beasts.

Cats are skeptical of strangers, always watching their loved ones from a high vantage point.

(I am certain that, should it come to it, cats would not only survive the apocalypse, but would thrive.)

Cats are not so eager to be cuddled and coddled by those who are not worthy.

Which is exactly what makes it such an incredible experience to be liked by a cat. And I don’t mean tolerated, but really, truly liked.

Perhaps it’s the human want for the unwantable, but no one can deny that there is a certain mysterious air that lends cats their desirability.

Fall in Southern California 

Sweaters are sweaty. Pumpkin spice burns your chapped, sunburnt lips. The adorable pinterest-esque fall leaves are more often represented by crunchy, dehydrated grass. Football games are too often stadiums crowded with sweaty bodies. The weather is less “let’s wear infinity scarves and drink hot cocoa” and more “let’s crank up the A/C and never leave the […]

The Polls are Rigged. No, Really. 

Donald Trump will never really get elected.” 

Looking around, I admit, it’s hard to imagine.

“77% of americans are women, are people of color, are gay, or are other minorities. He can’t win. He won’t.”(Read more here.)

And he wouldn’t, if they were all voting. But in communities of poverty, in communities where transportation is hard to obtain, in communities where lines are longer, in communities where instructions don’t make sense, voting is literally harder, and it’s not a coincidence.

Things like the new Photo ID requirements favor those who are wealthy- with passports and drivers licenses, and the money and time to find the proper paperwork, and the money for fees to get an ID. Although the requirement that citizens have a government issued idea isn’t new, the sudden backing of it is. Why limit how many eligible americans are able to participate in the elections? Because when 11% of the population does not have access to an ID, the overall voter turnout suffers.

Another example of the efforts to create an election where minorities voices are not behaved is the push to shut down early morning Sunday voting in some states where there is a prominent Black community, effectively targeting their religion and how they vote. (read more here)

Or, now that early voting has become popular in low-income and Black communities, it has become a target. Opportunities to register for early voting in communities of poverty are dwindling, at the push of scared politicians.
Maybe you’ve heard, in Texas, concealed carry permits are accepted, but state-issued student ID’s are not.

How about Voter Registration Laws, which both restrict and actively make registering to vote more difficult? 1 in 4 eligible americans are not registered to vote, and laws that make it hard not only to register but to stay registered are not helping.

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Americans, as a whole, have constructed a false sense of security for themselves, reassured by the idea of just how many people are against the election of Donald Trump, choosing to ignore the ways voting is becoming increasingly biased towards a certain “type” of voter. Do you know who voting is not difficult for? White people. Rich people. Republican people. In fact, voting is designed for the Trump supporters. For dedicated, passionate, privileged people.

It is not designed for Black people, or Hispanic people, or poor people. It is not designed for Hillary supporters.

The reality of President Trump has begun to sound far more possible.  

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Finals week is here, and it’s not a favorite time of the year. All I hear from students seems to be “why are we doing this?” “what’s the point?” “I’m gonna fail” “I’m so stressed out.”

So what are the point of finals? Are they a measure of your intelligence or a measure of your study skills?
Maybe it’s meant to prepare you for college, or maybe the stress is nothing compared to that of the “real world.”

But why are we preparing for something everyone seems to be upset about? Why don’t we work to change the problem, not prepare for it?

I don’t know about you, but I think we could all work a little harder for a better world.

but what do I know.


Let’s talk about planned parenthood

Welcome to Planned Parenthood, a place of murder. Real live people  being killed in this “safe” place, despite what some may say. Sure, people have choices, but why choose violence? Isn’t the government supposed to protect us from this stuff?

I bet you thought I was talking about fetuses, didn’t you? I was actually talking about the recent terrorist attack at a planned parenthood, in which three people were killed and nine injured. But you probably didn’t know about that. This is because there is little to no coverage, no conversations in class, no #prayforplannedparenthood, no artsy pictures to post about it, there is nothing. As a country, there is a huge blind spot here. Why?

Let’s cover the facts about the terrorist himself-

  • Robert Lewis Dear
  • 57 years old
  • White
  • Male
  • From South Carolina
  • Living in Colorado
  • Previous arrests for- 2 counts animal abuse & “peeping tom”
  • Accused of domestic assault


Now the story of the attack-

It was about 11:30 am on Friday when police received a call for help from the clinic. All the shoppers, workers, store owners, and passerby’s of the shopping center were told to take cover where they were. It took more than 4 hours for the police to secure the terrorist and give the people the go ahead, all the while they were evacuating people from the building and transporting them to the hospital. Nine were injured, and three were killed.

So, why are we still talking about this? Or better yet, why aren’t we talking about this?

Among many reasons, motive. The police said a motive could not be determined, but you heard the story. And to quote Dear, the attacker, “no more baby parts.” Doesn’t that seem clear enough? Or perhaps the very fact that he decided to plan his attack in a planned parenthood could be a cue for every news channel to support this incredible healthcare provider? Which brings us to news coverage. Where did it all go? Terrorism in the country, and we didn’t have it on every channel, covering it like the issue it is? Or, it would be, if eit were somewhere else by someone else. Besides, I bet that would be a pretty easy thing to talk about, I mean, Preaching pro-life and walking in with a gun, a bit backwards isn’t it? That sounds like priceless material for all the charismatic reporters.

So, I ask you, where did all the awareness go?


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The Gender Pay Gap

You’ve heard the rumors about feminists, the “Man-Haters”.

But the worst is when anti-feminists begin to discredit real issues, for example, the pay gap.

According to the US Census Bureau women earn 78-cents to the white mans dollar, and this is just white women. It becomes less and less through the races.

In case you are having issues visualizing this, take a look at this data provided by salary research company pay scale.

Screen Shot 2015-10-20 at 3.22.29 PMScreen Shot 2015-10-20 at 3.22.53 PM

Let’s look at how this works out in some other cases.


This chart comes from the research organization AAUW.

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This is a graph from the US Bureau of Labor.

At this point you may think, “yeah, but like, women take maternity leave and don’t get into as many high paying industries.”

Even if all of these factors were taken away, women would still only make between 93-95% of what men would, according to CONSAD’s analysis. Sexism at its finest, folks.

So yeah, unless us “man haters” control the government and world-renowned research organizations, it’s a pretty real thing.


The issue with trust

‘Just trust me,’ a phrase often used in our language, but not so often meant.

Our brains work by emotion, wired for compassion, understanding, and trust. It calms us, soothes us, and controls us. Learn more here.

So let’s start at the beginning. You are a small child, and your parent promises you ice cream. You have been exited all day, but when you finally get home, they say they are too busy for something so silly as ice cream.

You are already beginning a pattern of distrust. And you get older, friends, family, strangers, everyone you know throws around this idea of a promise as a way to calm, a short-term fix for a long-term problem.

We are often told not to make promises we can’t keep, good advice, yet seemingly impossible in our community today.

“Do you promise?’ ‘Swear on your life?’ ‘Pinky Swear?’ (Which, by the way, used to mean that if the promise was broken, he who was at fault would promptly have their pinky removed.)

Well, you say, how can we fix this? The answer is not that simple. You see, our use of human emotion as leverage has been evolving for a long time.

So help me, help us.