The Return of Twaimz

October 1, 2017 maydaygaskarthLeave a comment

On August 30th, 2017, a Youtube legend and internet icon known as Issa Twaimz made his return back to youtube.

After being gone for a year, stuck rewatching the same beautiful videos over and over again, Twaimz finally started hinting at his return. At first I thought it was just another rumor. Maybe it’d get all our hopes up like that time My Chemical Romance posted a “Welcome to the Black Parade” teaser on their Youtube channel for the first time in years – sending us all back into our emo selves – but it wasn’t.

It was real.

And it was amazing.

At the beginning of August, Twaimz started dropping hints that had all his fans leaning off the edge of their seats. From little video snippets on Instagram, to suggestive tweets and hilarious Snapchat stories, the return of everyone’s favorite Youtuber would soon fall upon us.

And thus, The Return of Twaimz was born.

He said that a small surprise would be coming, but it was anything but small.

It was huge. It was nineteen minutes worth of terrifying, hilarious content that was absolutely beautifully constructed. Please note, that I had stayed up until one in the morning to watch this video due to technical difficulties, and the lack of sleep I had was worth it. With nothing but the light of my telephone screen, the video starts off with a sweet tribute to all his old videos. From the crush song, to the videos of “what to do as a Christmas tree”, the first couple minutes were nostalgic until the video took a dark turn when he began getting haunted by his younger self.

Though I do not want to spoil the whole video, let’s just say it was memorable. It mostly consisted of plastic horses, Donald Trump, and Twaimz ability to master the art of rapping Nicki Minaj without messing up.

I could not have imagined a better return to Youtube than this. It was creative, spooky, and hilarious. Since his return, he has released the bloopers to his new video, an “ask Issa”, and a couple other videos. But most importantly, on October 1st at midnight, Twaimz released a new song to put everyone in the Halloween spirit.

The return of Twaimz was the best way to start off my junior year, and I am already more eager to see more of his new videos. So, if you need some comic relief in your life, or need a motivational theme song to walk into battle with, I suggest you start watching his videos right away.

OVS Confessionals #1

September 29, 2017 mariethearistocatLeave a comment

Before I begin, let me say how much I love this school. OVS has provided me with a home away from home and friends that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

That being said, this school isn’t without its flaws. So, that’s what I’m here to talk about today.

Every Monday, the dormers have to dress to the nines and sit at the usual cafeteria plastic tables, but set with tablecloths and flowers in vases. Boys dress in their nice shoes and suits, while the girls step into their heels and flowy dresses. The dining hall’s aura is changed into that of a nice restaurant, instead of its usual casual conversations and colorful plates.

But, before any girl can make it across the hill, she has to go through dress check. Basically, she is required to check her outfit with a dorm parent. While this isn’t my main point, I must say that this process is, in its root, sexist. We have to make sure that our bra straps are concealed, our dresses aren’t “too short,” and that we look like “nice, young ladies.” Girls have to follow a strict set of rules and to what avail?

We all know that we can’t show our underwear and shouldn’t be wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I apologize severely if throughout my meal my bra strap distracts a boy or teacher from finishing their mashed potatoes. I’m sorry if the skirt of my dress shows my upper thigh when I first sit down or stand up.

I’m not saying that I want to wear a cocktail dress to dinner. I just don’t get why a low back is so offensive if we are sitting down for the entirety of the meal?

Back to my main grievance for the day, a new rule has been put in place. During dress check, if our dress doesn’t meet any certain guideline, we will be given a dress to wear. Not just any dress, though. No. We’ll have a choice from one of the many new thrift shop garments hanging up in the lounge.

The dresses aren’t simply to meet the guidelines of the meal, but to embarrass those who don’t make it through dress check the first time around. Shouldn’t the whole purpose of dress check be to make sure our dresses are appropriate? If we are showing too much skin or our bra, we are expected to change. This system is in place to make sure that doesn’t happen. Why are we now being penalized for following the rules?

We are checking to make sure we can wear our outfits to dinner. That’s the whole point of that exercise. However, this check will become a test. If our dress doesn’t fit the needs of the school, we’ll have to put on an oversized piece of obnoxious floral cloth or an outdated two piece set.

Well, I guess I’ll have to make sure not to corrupt the young minds of the boys around me! And, hey, thrifted clothes are so in!

What a punderful world!

September 29, 2017 localdreamerwithapenLeave a comment

Many people hate me for it, or get annoyed in the bang-their-head-on-the-table kinda way. But I just can’t help it. I really, really love puns!

I think they are punny, puntastic, and it’s straight up a lot of pun to make them!

I’m about to get some serious hate for this, but here are some of my favorite puns:

“If you are in a restaurant, waiting for your waiter, aren’t YOU the waiter?” Hah. Ha. Or how about, “If you are cleaning the vacuum cleaner, aren’t YOU the vacuum cleaner?”

Okay. Those are some pretty good ones. But, there are only few things I appreciate more than a really well made, thought through pun. Take as an example, “A steak pun is a rare medium well done.” It’s so good! I’m really glad that @ahuj9 on twitter took the time to make up this beautiful joke, because it just made my day! Just like one that goes like, “I, for one, like roman numerals.” That is pure magic! It is so well made and I don’t care how ridiculous most people find puns like that, I am so fascinated by them!

There are so many puns in this word, but the sad thing is that there are so many that just don’t make sense in english! I realized that when I first tried to tell a joke to one of my American friends. But I totally forgot that it was a German joke. I tried to translate and explain it, but it didn’t work, because it was a pun! Damned be those fantastically awful little pieces of potential disappointment!

Anyways, if you are like me and are completely infatuated with puns, check out these 33 Bad Puns on Buzzfeed, because for some reason bad puns are the best puns!

How Calvin and Hobbes Grows With Me

May 18, 2017 whynotstayinLeave a comment

When I was in elementary school I first encountered Calvin and Hobbes. Since then it has resurfaced in various parts of my life surprisingly more and more topically.

Bill Watterson’s perennial comic often addresses the problems and anxieties of growing up, the pain of reality, and everything in between.

Watterson manages to cleverly address issues that still persist today through the eyes of the constantly adventurous and surprisingly observant six-year-old boy.

To this day, I find myself enjoying the comics in spare moments, pulling out weather-beaten copies with broken binding hoping to find a laugh or something to prove that I’m not just panicking, that growing up is indeed hard.

Watterson manages to perfectly characterize the angsty feelings of growing up and having to face oncoming reality, and sometimes it just makes me laugh and feel happy despite the panic I feel about having to continue to grow into adulthood.

But my personal favorite remains the very last panel Watterson ever drew for Calvin and Hobbes:

Adulting

January 19, 2017 hubbabubba98Leave a comment

So adulting is hard. It’s not what you imagine when you’re a little kid. Yes, you are able to stay up late and you don’t have to listen to mom and dad. Yes, you can eat whatever you want, but with that also comes having to buy your own groceries – because guess what? If you don’t buy those groceries, you won’t have any food to eat. If you don’t do that dirty laundry, you won’t have any clean clothes. If you don’t set your alarm clock the night before, you will most definitely sleep through your 8am class (luckily that hasn’t happened to me yet, just my roommate, every Monday and Friday.)

There are so many things that I used to take for granted when I lived at home – there was always food, cleaning supplies, and cold medicine, and everything was just at my fingertips. Now that I’m living on my own I realize how truly lucky I was. So, thanks mom and dad.

I’m three weeks into college (when this was written) and I’m incredibly sick. And no I don’t mean homesick, which is surprising since I’m living in Massachusetts, across the country from California. But the kind of sick I mean is high fevers, throwing up, stuffy nose, headache, dizziness and cough, also known as a chest virus, also known as the flu. And it sucks. Trying to navigate through two different busses to get to class while making it to work on time and rushing back for soccer practice is enough to handle, and then to add being sick on top it is far from fun.

Sickness Creates Problems And to those who are about to go off to college, let me tell you, the first time that you get sick away from home is terrible. It might not seem like a big deal but when all you want to do is lay in your own bed but you can’t because it’s 3,112 miles away, it becomes a big deal. Well Hello, Sickness

So today, after not really being able to breathe for about a week, I finally went to the health center. I only got lost in the building about three times before I finally found the student health center. After my appointment, I was prescribed some medications that would help. Of course these were insanely expensive, and as a college student that’s an issue.

I can’t wait until next month when I have to pay my credit card bill.

Never fear though, while it might seem like I’m hating life right now, I’m not. Even though my family is far away and I low-key can’t really breath or taste anything, I have another family taking care of me right here. My teammates and friends are constantly checking on me and bring me tea and saltines, the perfect (cheap) get-well combination.

Laziness is in my genes

November 28, 2016November 28, 2016 moderatesnotfoundLeave a comment

Looking around school, a workplace, or on the street, you may find some people who are incredibly lazy, some seemingly addicted to exercise, and others addicted to food. For certain people there is a strong correlation between genes and how active, lazy, or addicted to food they are. These people may have one or more genes that are deactivated, causing some practices to be less entertaining than others.

Healthy practices release dopamine within the brain, which makes the individual happy. This release dramatically changes the mood of the individual, often making them feel good. This great feeling can be addictive – if one feels good when eating food, (which everyone does) over time they may eat more food than they should, due to the feeling released by dopamine.

It’s not rocket science, just addiction.

These deactivated genes make it harder to get out of bed early, keep up a healthy diet, or hit the gym. This doesn’t mean you should use the excuse: “laziness is in my genes,” instead you should try a little harder, and make positive habits that help you break you bad habits. Drive makes you, not just your genes.

Sunday Nights

November 6, 2016 stayhappy123Leave a comment

What’s worse than Sunday?

The impending doom of Monday morning lurking around the corner, homework piling up by the minute.

How about waking up on Sunday and thinking it’s Saturday? The stomach drop when your phone blinks with “Sunday” is the equivalent of reading the saddest book ever, twice.

And, even though Sunday mornings are bad, nothing is worse than Sunday night.

Sweet Dreams Please! — Photo Credit: EduinReview.com

And don’t even get me started on Monday mornings.

Bad Singers

May 31, 2016 paris22Leave a comment

I have spent the majority of this year singing at random times, even though I know I’m musically impaired.

But why are some people ear-splittingly bad, à la moi? Yahoo explains.

Some people’s brain simply can not perceive notes correctly, which produces the sound of a dying cow when singing (or, at least, for me).

But the shape of your vocal tracks are also a factor that can determine whether you’re a Sugar Motta (Glee, look it up) or you’re a Streisand.

20% of people can’t control their vocal muscles, they’re too powerful (the latter is not a scientific fact).

But there is hope! For those who simply have trouble matching the pitch of a song, vocal training can improve this.

Or, you can accept your tone-deafness and own it. You may not be cast as Glinda in Wicked on Broadway, but that’s true even for people that can sing, so don’t take it too hard.