Even If It Wasn’t Enough

You called me beautiful underneath the blue midnight light. Your hands were around my waist, your face illuminated with your favorite color, my thoughts were with you and only with you.

I can feel your breath hitting my cheek as I remember it all. I feel your warmth surrounding me in the otherwise cold air, I feel your hair falling into my face, followed by your fingers, gently pushing it back into place.

It’s a heart-wrecking game you play with me, and you don’t even know it. With all my willpower I’m desperately trying not to fall for you more than I already have, trying not to lose myself in another illusion and another love. But this is different. You are different and my weak little heart can’t handle it. Because with seemingly every blink of your existence, I fall.

Photo Credit: cache.desktopnexus.com

I want to let it happen. I want to fall and not stop until we both hit the ground. I want to see where we can go, what we can do. But I’ve been hurt before and I’m scared. Mainly, I think, because I don’t want you to ever feel that way. It’s taken me so long to recover, and, deep down, I know that we are so much more than anything I could have ever experienced. I can’t imagine what would happen to us if we let ourselves go the way I wish we could. I know it would be beautiful.

One more week. I could spend that week thinking about all I just said, dwelling on the sadness that flushes through my body whenever I think of the little time we have left. But I shouldn’t. I should use that time, use it wisely, use it happily. I should enjoy it, every second of it, because I don’t want to regret anything. I don’t want to look back on the time we have wasted, I want to remember all that we had, even if it wasn’t enough.

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A Collection of Quotes

From motivateamazebegreat.com

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” — Gandhi

“He who fears he will suffer, already suffers because he fears.” — Michel De Montaigne

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” — Albert Einstein

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” — Confucius

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” — Mary Engelbreit

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” — George Bernhard Shaw

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” — Viktor Frankl

“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap. If you want happiness for a day — go fishing. If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a life time — help someone else.” — Chinese proverb

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen Covey

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” — Sigmund Freud”

“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” — Joshua J. Marine”

“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” — Henry van Dyke

“I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life.” — Corazon Aquino”

 

Why I Love Art

I love art. 

Ever since I was a small child I’ve been going to museums.  At first I hated them, I mean what kid wants to stand silently looking at art for hours, but now I really appreciate it. 

I have favorite artists now, and with research you find the things these artists have gone through. I see pieces of myself in a lot of my favorite artists.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B48aHt4CYAA9X1h.jpg
Credit to Twitter

Van Gogh has always been my favorite, his use of colors and textures are like no other and never cease to amaze me. My favorite of his paintings is his self-portrait. You can see so much of his inner turmoil in his china blue eyes.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b2/Vincent_van_Gogh_-_Self-Portrait_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg
Credit to Wikipedia

Andy Warhol is amazing.  He was so unique in his time.  He was an idol during his prime.  His art makes you think, its bright colors reel you in and you just can’t stop looking at them.

https://i1.wp.com/pursuitsinc.com/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/warhol-02.jpg
Credit to Pursuit Inc

“Like”

Where on earth did this term come from? I’m not talking about Facebook likes or Instagram likes.

I’m talking about how one will be talking to a new person, a potential new friend, and everything is going great until they say it. Or rather, they say it half a dozen times in one sentence. And all of a sudden you feel like stabbing someone, but not the person because you want to be friends with them.

Img cred; sodahead.com

I’m pretty darn guilty of this myself, but I’m definitely noticing it and am trying to fix this habit. But when I try, I find it difficult to find words to replace “like.” Sometimes I feel like if I use any other word or phrase other than “like,” I’ll sound too formal and/or weird.

I wonder if any “likers” don’t notice this habit of theirs. I also wonder how many are aware and just don’t care. And I also wonder how many other people feel the irresistible urge to lash out in fury after the sixth “like.”

Street Art Revolution

I have always loved art, but not so much in a gallery, while I appreciate it, what really gets me happy is street art.

Street art is one of those things that you always have to appreciate.

I’m not saying all the ugly gang tags on the side of a bridge, but when you see something that someone has taken time to do, and invested more than just money into you have to stop and think about it.

Street art is an ever growing movement.

When people see actual street art and call it graffiti, it actually isn’t correct.

Read More »

Breaking Through


Breaking through was the hardest part. They said that on the other side we would find happiness, answers, something. There must have been a reason the universe inexplicably stopped expanding.

The crew of our small expedition consisted of five of us. The “best” people for the job. Best. I would describe us as inexperienced. Too young. Lost.

The greatest minds of our time wanted answers and we were the crew assigned to the job. The journey to the edge was instantaneous.

To break through we had to bend the laws of what we thought was possible. We [Process Classified].

When we breached the edge of the universe there was nothing but darkness. Then it started infecting us.

[Name removed] was the first infected by the bug.

The parasite’s symptoms were unlike any others any of us had ever seen.

It was not a physical disease. It starts with projecting an image of unbelievable beauty. It captivates you. Seeing it absorbs your every thought. Nothing else matters.

Then, like a candle burning out for the last time, it disappears and never returns.

It fills you with a need for it. It becomes an addiction. You beg for it to return.

After days of waiting. It returns, but it isn’t the same. Something is wrong. The happiness is replaced by fear. It consumes you. It hurts to live. [Names removed] ended their lives at this point. I locked the last survivor other than myself in a cell at his request.

He lives through the fear and walks up to the window and explains to me what he feels. “I have seen all. We should never have tested these limits. Life isn’t meant to be tested like this. GO LEAVE.” The rest of his words were muddled and unrecognizable.

Looking outside the window of my quarters I have to wonder why I haven’t been infected, but my mind has been fixated on a thought. A thought I can’t quite place, but It is beautiful.

Just beautiful.

, But Never Doubt I Love

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

An excerpt from Hamlet by Shakespeare.

Currently, I am reading Hamlet in my AP English class. Now, Shakespeare hasn’t always been my strong suit. But sometimes, I find myself getting lost in his beautiful wording.

This quote says it all.

People will always question the heavens above them and the ground that they stand upon. Even more so, people will question the words of those they know, even those that they are very close to.

However, there are a few sure things in life. One of them is love.

Whether this love is directed towards family, a close friend, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a pet, a picture, a passion, or a song, love is always there.

Sure, love can be a confusing thing at times. Especially for those near my age, when awkward teenage love is beginning to mature and we are just figuring out who we are and what we are capable of. But for the most part, people can clearly identify love.

This is a universal feeling. It’s something that Shakespeare knew clearly hundreds of years ago and it’s something that holds true today.

I say, trust in love. Trust in your mother and your father. Trust in your best friends and your enemies. Trust in your boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever your special person may be. Trust in that feeling. It is one of the few sure things that will persist throughout time.

Love is timeless.