Tag: life

The Ups and Downs

mariethearistocatLeave a comment

Life is like a roller coaster. Filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and abrupt starts and stops.

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Photo Credit: http://www.getlinkyoutube.com

Your future is like the tedious clicking of your cart on the incline. Each time you move a little forward, the safety kicks in to make sure you don’t fly back.  Those have been put there so you can only move forward. Time is what moves you along, what makes you get on with your life.

Once you reach the top, another goal is met. You are on the brink of a new adventure, a new path in life. You are relieved you made it, but are anticipating something new; whether it be a drop, jolt, or loop. Anxiety fills you as you are thrown into the unexpected.

Well, it turns out it was a drop. Not just any drop, either. Full 80 degree, head-first sensation that is heading straight for the ground. Hardships don’t slowly make their way into your life. They burst in and blind you. They take you by surprise and totally change your perspective.

Your cart continues the course of the ride and then it’s over. You can get off the ride and move on to the next thing. Some people say rollercoasters are just one thing, so they only stimulate one thing, one life. However, rollercoasters are almost the opposite. They’re one moment. When you go to a theme park, you don’t just go on one ride. You wait in line after line, just waiting for something new.

The one thing all the quotes relating life to rollercoasters forget to mention is others. You aren’t in that cart alone. You are sitting next to your best friend, your sibling, or a stranger, but you are never completely alone. These people are experiencing the same moment; they drop when you do and they soar just the same.

Life is a series of moments, a series of rides. Life isn’t just one big moment, but a mixture of many. However, the people around you and the way you deal with the big drops and loops can surely affect your ride.

Darkness

beetlejusLeave a comment

Sometimes I can’t move.  I’ll lay in bed staring blankly at a screen.  I am not evening watching the movie that my eyes are fixated on.  I’m in another world.

The darkness started in my brain, it made me smile less, and cry more.

Then it moved into my eyes,

the darkness made me see things differently.

When I looked in the mirror I didn’t see myself anymore, I saw a girl with dark black eyes.

Darkness took over my mouth soon after.  Negativity spewed out like oil in the middle of a dark blue ocean.  It covered me with a thick black liquid.

Darkness wrapped around my heart so tightly that nothing could escape.

Things I once loved, things that brought me so much happiness no longer warmed my heart, they simply pasted in front of me like a person I use to know.

Darkness takes my legs from time to time.  There’s nothing I want more but to move.  I want to run, and dance and write and jump. 

Instead I sit, lifeless, glaring at the sticky white ceiling of my room.

I would like to think I am stronger than the darkness.

I know I’m not.

Sometimes I trick the darkness.

I make jokes, and laugh and pretend like he doesn’t exist.

The darkness is stronger than me.

And takes over.

It’s All Coming Together

mushuooLeave a comment

It’s that time of year again, college acceptance, and denial, letters are coming our way. After months of working on applications, seniors are finally beginning to hear back from schools.

It feels as though I have been waiting a lifetime to get these letters. My dream school is the University of Southern California, and I want that school more than any other.

I have been accepted into all of my backup schools, two of my three targets, and neither of my two reaches, yet.

Chapman University recently sent me an acceptance letter, and when I got the e-mail I felt this enormous sense of relief, knowing I had been accepted into my third choice school.

The only reason it is my third choice is because I have applied to two more academically rigorous schools; Occidental College, and USC. But those schools are both reaches for me, meaning I have a smaller chance of being accepted.

I am completely happy attending Chapman, but I would be ecstatic to go to Occidental or USC.

Because I will be a pre-law student, meaning I will be going to law school after graduating from whichever undergraduate school I attend.

Because of this, I want to go to the most prestigious school I can in order to give me an edge in the Law School application process.

I am thankful I have options on where I go to college, but I am conflicted as to which school is the perfect fit for me.

Although transferring is always an option, I don’t want to build a life somewhere, make connections with other students, and learn the lay of the land at a school where I am not completely happy.

My best friend just got into Chapman as well, giving the school an enormous edge in my book. However, I have to make sure I make the right decision for me, not anyone else.

At this point, Chapman is it. But if I get an acceptance from Occidental or USC, that may change.

How do I choose the right school?

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Photo credit to: keck-cms.usc.edu

Happiness

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Happiness.

You are defined by what makes you happy

But what happens if you aren’t happy?

What happens when the things around you seem to become dark and grey?

What about when your life gets flipped upside down and all of a sudden the things that used to make you happy remind you of everything you have lost.

You look around and suddenly the people who used to be there for you everyday, the ones you couldn’t go a day without talking to, disappear without a trace.

Everything that made you, you is gone in a flash

The hikes that used to love to take now feel like every breath is a burden

The bike with a wicker basket that you used to ride around your block, which was once filled with amazing memories, sits in the back of your garage rusting away.

When everything that made you happy now makes you feel dejected and hurt

What happens then?

credit: deviantart.net

Los Angeles Art Show

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https://i0.wp.com/d2jv9003bew7ag.cloudfront.net/uploads/LA-Art-Show.jpgLast night I had the pleasure of attending the opening night of the Los Angeles Art Show to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

I have been to a few art shows before, but none compare to this one.

There was historic and contemporary art, the historic was romantic and detailed,  while the contemporary was polished and fashionable.

Although I had a rough go-of-it in new shoes that I had not worn previously to this event, I was mesmerized by the thousands of painting, sculptures, and sketches covering the walls.

The set-up was stunning. A labyrinth of walls glowing with spotlights throughout an entire floor of the LA Convention Center was filled with hundreds, if not thousands of people.

After strolling around the maze of artwork for a few hours, my friends and I went home for the night.

I cannot wait to attend next year’s show.

 

Why I Do Not Enjoy Boats

mushuooLeave a comment

Yesterday in AP Environmental, our teacher told the class that we are taking a class field trip to Anacapa Island. For most, this news was great, but for me, not so much.

Not many things scare me to the point of wanting to run away, but boats do.

So, let me tell you how this fear originated.

I went on a trip to Catalina Island in sixth grade. They told us the boat ride would be easy, with two to three-foot​ swells. We got on the boat and sailed off into the Pacific.

The boat ride there was easy, just like they said, two-foot​ swells.

But the ride back was much different.

They told us the same wave prediction again, but nearly ten minutes after sailing off from the island, we instantly knew something was wrong.

It was windy and storm – no rain, but clouds completely covering the sky. We continued on, only to be prepping for an emergency about a half an hour into the ride.

The boat was rocking side to side, but not in a relaxing motion, in the way that I was almost sure we were going to capsize. The waves looked like they were going to cover the side of the boat, terrifying everyone.

The scariest part was that when I went to my teacher for comfort, the only thing she had to say was that I should make sure I know where a life vest is.

We made it back to the Long Beach harbor, but since that day I have never gotten on a boat.

 

Bang Bang

mushuooLeave a comment

How is it possible that two people on the “Do Not Fly” list can purchase guns and ammunition?

How is it that these two people can then take those weapons to shooting ranges and practice for what would be another mass shooting?

How is it that there are loopholes like this in the system that can be so easily manipulated that 14 people loose their lives because these two dedicated terrorists decide to shoot up a building full of innocent people?

I don’t think anyone has answers, but I think it’s about time we figure out why this catastrophe was even possible.

The number of mass shootings that have occurred in the United States alone in the past year is ridiculous, people have such easy access to weapons that there is truly​ no border on what people can purchase.

We attempted to control the use of guns, but in all actuality, we are violating the second amendment in our Constitution.

So where is the middle? Where is there a safe, yet Constitution-abiding law that gives U.S. Citizens the right TO bear arms, but also puts a cap on who can purchase these deadly weapons?

I think we need to look deeper into the situation- if you are NOT a U.S. citizen, but live here, you should not be able to purchase a gun. If you have a past mental illness history, you should​ not be able to purchase a gun. If you are under the age of 18, you should not be able to purchase a gun.

This is all speculation.

Dealing with the issue of gun control and implementing laws that have the possibility of changing U.S. citizen’s second amendment rights is sensitive, but necessary for our safety.

Senseless Violence

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Photo Credit: Dailymail.co.uk

Quite frankly, when I thought about writing a post on the ISIS attacks over this past weekend I was afraid. Yes, I was afraid of speaking my mind about ISIS, in fear of ISIS. But, as I mulled over this I realized how wrong it was for me to be scared to voice my opinions because of a group who threatens many others for speaking theirs. So, I am writing this blog post because I will not let a terrorist group stop me from speaking my mind, because that’s what they want me and many others to do. ISIS staged an attack on Paris, but not only them, Paris is just ISIS’ most recent victim. ISIS also attacked Egypt and Beirut only weeks ago. And for what? Because they don’t agree with the way they live? Because traditions and norms that are shared throughout the US, UK, France, and more don’t coincide with how the members of ISIS choose to live? Is that why countless people have been killed, and not just by ISIS, in terrorist attacks? I could keep guessing the reasons, but honestly I don’t know.  And it gets even more twisted when I, personally, even try to conceive or understand how someone could kill innocent people, and for what I ask again? And though this post is surmised mostly of questions, that is all I have in this situation. Because it’s something that isn’t understandable. This isn’t a hard math problem, or a trick question that you finally understand after an explanation from the teacher; this is real life. Real, twisted life. And when one tries to explain a situation like this, only more questions arise. I mourn for all of the people who lost their lives, and I am deeply saddened. But I will not let these type of people deter me from living my life the way I want. And I will not live my life in constant fear that this will happen to me, and neither should anyone else.

ISIS CRISIS PART TWO

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Photo Credit: http://www.wnd.com

If you haven’t read Isis Crisis (part one) you probably should right now.

This week’s attacks on Paris have left me stunned beyond all belief. I cannot believe that ISIS has progressed to the point of being able to get bombs into supposedly relatively high security countries.

I can fathom how it is that these terrorists are able to commit these acts, but one though ticks me to the point of obsession; WHY is it ISIS commits these attacks.

How is it that people get so desperate that they result to killing others as a measure of success?

As I sit here writing this blog, I attempt to wrap my mind around the thought-process of an ISIS terrorist.

As terrible as it is, I want to know why people are driven to commit these acts of violence.

Is it religion? Resources? Simply the way this group of people was raised?

Hilary Clinton offered a very well-explained option as a next step in the fight against ISIS; more allied plans, more airstrikes, and a “broader target set”.

This seems to be the most logical idea that has been expressed, and I hope she is taken seriously, because it’s time we start shutting this down.

 

Happy

beetlejusLeave a comment

What I fail to do in my day-to-day life is take things less seriously.

I always think about the future and whether the guy I have a crush on will ever reciprocate my feelings or whether I’ll ever amount to anything.

These things—these vague dreams and thoughts of mine cause my stomach to churn and my eyes to fill with tears.

I want to live life for now, not waste my thoughts on the future. For who knows whether I’ll even be alive for the moments I dream about.

When I was younger I would see people in commercials, with their perfect BMI and perfectly white teeth, and I couldn’t help but think, why not me?

Why am I not happy or perfect everyday of the year? Why am I not constantly dressed in designer knock offs from Macy’s?

The truth is, these people are just actors who are paid to be happy, and they’re probably not paid too much either. I mean it’s a JC Penney commercial. 

If you were happy everyday of your life you wouldn’t be a person, you’d be a game show host. 

I try to live my life with as much hope as possible.

While on the outside I seem like this moody teenager who thrives off sarcasm and the misfortune of others, I really do care.

 I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.  I love sunshine and 80’s power ballads. I love animals and strong coffee. I love my family and friends. 

I want to live my life happy.   I don’t care if I’m never rich or famous or the star of a TJ Maxx commercial, I just want to be the happiest person I can be. 

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