Tag: senior

AP Lit.

Bl@ckBe@nsLeave a comment

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I’m not sure why I chose to take AP Literature and Composition. Yes, I do like English, but not enough to torture myself. Yes, it’s just the beginning of the class, but I’m not meant for the timed writing lifestyle. It gives me too much anxiety and makes it hard to focus on the task and hand. I’m not going to sit here and lie, but I thought I would be doing better. I currently have a grade in the B range, which I’m usually ok with, but recently B’s have been looking awful to me. 
I should have had this mindset in my Junior year. If I had, I would have had higher hopes of getting accepted into better colleges.


I digress. Every time we do timed writing in class, I always end up reading the prompt way too many times, and even then, I might still not fully grasp what’s needed. 

When I get to the writing segment, I often find myself forgetting what I was thinking about and having to go back and read through it.  By the time I’ve gotten started and have set a rhythm, I have like 5 minutes left. Once I hear “you guys have five more minutes,” the rhythm I had disappears into thin air, and I’m trying to type whatever comes to my head, but yet again, my brain has nothing to write. 

A Bad Case of Senior Year

zombiegxrlLeave a comment

I’m still sick. I’ve been sick for three weeks now. I never get sick except for when I first come back from summer break. I think I might be having a bad case of senior year. I’ve been taking medicine everyday but nothing seems to quell this targeted attack on my lungs and throat. It feels like I’m swallowing barbed wire and coughing up gum that’s been melted to the side of my lungs. It’s always the worst when I wake up in the mornings. My eyes are swollen and the barbed wire in my throat has been stealthily attacking me all night. Senior year has really been throwing me for a loop. Every time I overcome one challenge, a new one arises. I finally got my Capstone outline figured out, five college essays completed, and I was feeling good. Then boom, I get sick. Considering this sickness has been battering me tirelessly for almost a month, I think it’s official, I am allergic to senior year.

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Even if it’s hard.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

You have to keep going even if it’s hard.

You have to push through. Finish school and get into college. Everyone talks about how hard Senior year is but I never imagined it would be this hard. I’ve had plenty of juniors and underclassmen telling me they have “senioritis”, and I remember saying the exact same thing when I was their age. Now I know how terribly wrong I was.

It’s F****** hard (please excuse my language)

I don’t know if this is just me, but everything is hard. Getting up, god it’s so hard not to take a sick day every day. Getting ready, doing skin care, taking care of myself, and even getting dressed comes with its daily sighs.

The hardest thing to do is work. I open the document it’s up on my computer, and stays that way from 7 to 1-2 in the morning. That is when the crisis begins It is 1 am already late so I just go to sleep, but I haven’t done anything so I should work and get a little done at least. Eventually between the worrying, overthinking, and the guilt I pass out around 3-4 feeling super guilty for not doing anything and not going to bed earlier. The next thing I know I’m 3 blog posts, 1 essay, and a whole bunch of emails behind. Luckily I’m not the only one not doing anything and I think the teachers understand to a certain extent.

It’s hard but I have to keep going, meaning I can’t stop now, meaning I have to do it. I will do it no matter what. Because no matter how hard it is I only have 4 more weeks left of my senior year. 4 more weeks left with my best friends, 4 more weeks of struggle. I can do it I have to for him. DEP SSP te amo<3

The Magic of the Hummingbird – Spiritus Arcanum
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Everything.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

Life’s been kind of a mess recently. Between college, work, basketball, and the play my brain just hasn’t worked. I’ve been forgetful with my work, and my time management has been getting much worse. I’m not ready. I feel so behind, maybe it’s burning out. To be honest, I’m not really sure.

Is this what senioritis is?

Anyway, it’s not all bad, my team won our mock trial. All 3 charges were dismissed. I’ve been happier, better. College is keeping me anxious. I just hope it continues going good. Hopefully, it keeps getting better. I feel like I’ve been a little too busy, like am I really enjoying my last moments here?

yes

actually, I think that’s the only thing I am certain about. laughing with my friends going 20 mph down a dark road heads sticking out the top and screaming like we are going 70 mph. Or staying up till 2 in the morning bullying and gaslighting random kids on Roblox.

That’s what I’m going to remember when I leave, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

love you guys

150 words are up, Ciao!

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mind matter @ midnight

mariethearistocat1 Comment

one more week… how insane.

i’m in such a state of limbo,

i don’t know if i’m going to be longing to come back soon.

next year, this school won’t be my place anymore.

my room will be somebody else’s moldy problem.

my friends will be all around the world,

too far away.

i hope this summer is an easy one.

i need a good transition from high school to college.

i want to write and travel and make new friends and read a shit ton of books.

 he time that’s been romanticized in books and movies is here and it’s zipping by! 

oh, what a world i live in.

Time

mycountrythoughtsLeave a comment

Five weeks.

Twenty-five weekdays.

Thirty-two days.

I never thought those numbers could ever mean so much to me.  I have five weeks, twenty-five weekdays, and thirty-two days left of my senior year.  I will be free once those are all zero.

I will officially be done with school.  I will be a college girl.  I still can’t believe I am almost done with the four years I dreaded the most my whole life.  The four years I wanted to be done are almost that: done.

I am a very different person from who I imagined myself to be and I know I am not done growing and figuring myself out, but I love who I’ve become and don’t want to change anything.  I almost wish I could pause these last few weeks and live in them for a little while longer.

I can’t wait to get away from here.  To start my life with no boundaries.  These weeks are something that can’t go by fast enough.

I wish these weeks would pass by in the blink of an eye, but I wish I could look back on them and remember everything I am feeling now.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

Five weeks.

Twenty-five weekdays.

Thirty-two days.

Waitlisted

maydaygaskarth1 Comment

For the past week, I’ve been waiting to hear from my first choice college about whether I’d get in or not.

The answer I received was not the one I was expecting.

I wasn’t sure if I was expecting an acceptance. The acceptance rate is 46%, so I thought I had a chance. But, then again, I was an out-of-state student and my SAT scores were below the average.

I checked my portal every day hoping for an answer, but then I got an email.

An email telling me I was waitlisted and I don’t even know what to think of it.

On one hand, I still have a chance of getting in, even though the chances of ever getting off the waitlist at any school or program are exceptionally slim. I still had a chance and maybe that was enough hope to hold on to.

On the other hand, it felt like a slap in the face. You’re good enough, but not as good as the other students admitted, not as good as your friends who got admitted while you’re stuck re-reading the words from the email over and over again, telling you to change your plans, your fantasies of how the next four years of your life were going to play out are not going to happen. But, if they don’t come here, we might choose you.

I broke the news to my sister, my aunt, and any friend I could talk too. They all said it was okay and that maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

I hate when people say that and, in that moment, I couldn’t even think about agreeing with them, but maybe they’re right. There’s always an option to potentially transfer or the chance I’ll love the school I end up attending more than I thought. The U.S. is full of amazing schools and I have other top choices I’m still waiting to hear from. So maybe something will work out that turns out to be better for me in the long run, but I’ll just have to wait and see.

Photo Credit: bobleesays.com

A Senior Rant

localdreamerwithapenLeave a comment

So, just a thought: when you know that the first semester of senior year is already ultimate hell as it is, don’t try and stuff more work into it by moving the Senior Seminar into the first semester!

I know that there is probably some reason behind it that makes some kind of sense, but I just don’t know it. Just saying, it wasn’t the smartest move.

Photo Credit: kmox.radio.com

In these upcoming months, we now not only have to apply to colleges, perfect out SAT and ACT scores, and  try and boost our grades as much as possible, but we’re also going to have to try and get our entire senior project done by March. I know that, essentially, it doesn’t make a huge difference time-wise for most people, because, let’s be honest, we’ll most likely all procrastinate anyways. But, I know that there are also some people that have already planned on having an entire school year to finish their projects because that’s simply how much time they need.

I know that I should probably be writing college essays right now instead of ranting about something I can’t change anyways, but this is just one of those things that make me want to bury myself six feet underground. Gotta love being a senior!

The Beginning of the End

maydaygaskarthLeave a comment

When I stepped into my first class at the beginning of freshman year, senior year seemed so far away.

Now, I just survived my first week of being a senior and too many realizations hit me at once.

That, at the end of the year, I won’t be sitting on the bleachers watching my friends from higher grades graduate. This time, I’ll be the one walking on the stage to receive my diploma that I worked so hard to get over my high school years.

But, it’s only the beginning of the year. There’s still so much to anticipate. So much to go through.

The countless college applications and dreadful Saturday mornings I’ll spend doing the SAT until I get the perfect score so I can get into the perfect college. The ideas for my senior project that I still can’t choose, because I don’t even have one in mind. What my prom dress will look like, or even my graduation dress.

Photo Credit: The Odyssey Online

It’s only the beginning of my final year at OVS. It’s the beginning of the end of my high school experience.

It hurts knowing at the end of the year I’ll have to say goodbye to everything I’ve known. To my friends and teachers, to my horse, and to the small town and smaller school that has been my second home.

But, I’m still hopeful that this will be an amazing year, and maybe my days at OVS will only be in my memories and I’ll be living a completely different life, but I’ll still remember them as the most important times in my life.

Burgers and Fries Oh My

mushuooLeave a comment

In order to graduate from Ojai Valley School, each senior must successfully complete a senior project. These projects range from visiting Alcatraz to camping on an island for a week. My best friend, and editor, Kendall Shiffman and I have decided our senior project is going to be “burger telephone,” more commonly known as “taco telephone”

We will begin the journey at Stout Burger in Santa Monica, California. At this first location, we will ask the employees what their favorite burger is there, and order it, with fries of course. We will taste the burger and fries, and rate them on a rubric we have created.

After finishing our meal, we will ask another person where their favorite burger is in Los Angeles, and so on and so forth.

We will continue this cycle until we have tasted around ten burgers over the course of two days.

So. Excited.