can’t write

Photo Credit:

I’ve written so many drafts trying to talk about this, but no matter what I write nothing sounds right.  This is not something I can write in one sitting.  The words have to be perfect.

It seems like no matter how many times I write it, it still sounds horrible.  I can’t even write this post where I don’t say what the other post says.

I can’t bring up what is in the other post because just bringing it up is not right to me.  Everything about it has to be perfect.

It will probably be the last blog post I write because that is how long it will take to perfect.  The thing I want to say is probably one of the hardest things I have ever written.  I don’t know how to not sound naive when saying it.

I hope that I can actually put it into words and that it is enough for him.


12 Minutes of Word Vomit!

Photo Credit: Amor Fati/

I have an existential crisis almost every night.
The fire was a year ago. That scares me.

The music is too loud outside my window and
my eyes hurt from staring at a screen for so long.

I’m having an existential crisis tonight. It’s because of Calculus homework.
I could post about it. Maybe someone will say I’m pretty.

She hasn’t replied to my email yet and I worry that my writing is boring.
But my teacher says I’m good at Spanish, so at least I have that.

My eyes are dry. They almost always are.
I say I’ve never been in love before but that’s not true.

Photo Credit: (and this is supposed to be ironic)

I am in love right now. It’s just the sad kind.

I could post about it. Maybe someone will say I’m pretty.

He likes the finality of writing things down on paper. I like it too. (But as I wrote this, I knew I would type it out later.) I like the way he thinks because he is an intellectual.

It’s not always about the words themselves,
it is about what they mean and how they feel.

My room is too cluttered and so is my mind.

I want to leave my house and live somewhere far away.

My life is a mess and I’m having an existential crisis tonight, but I met a famous person once. And a different famous person has a relative that goes to my school, so I think I will post about it.

I wish I could write songs. They would probably be boring.

And maybe this doesn’t make sense to some people.

Oh well.


I have recently been shown a website called Typeracer.
This website is essentially a game that improves ones typing speed. The game works like this. You join a random race, you are paired up with people from around the globe, or you can join a friend’s game. Once you have joined the game, a countdown starts and you are shown a passage. When the counter hits 0 The race begins.

You have to type the paragraph with the fastest and your words per minute is measured. My average is 40 words per minute, but the top typists have averages of 180. A feat I could never even hope to accomplish.

There is another mode called “Instant death.” This mode is significantly more difficult because it requires you to never make a mistake because if you do get eliminated immediately.

Why have I spent so much time on a typing game you ask?

Since last year I have been working on my typing speed. This is because I feel as though when I am taking notes in class I can’t effectively get my ideas on to paper.

I tried various courses and programs to improve how fast I could type and I never could. I found them tedious and ineffective.

With Typeracer I have fun and I have become a much better typist altogether.