The Season of the LAX Bro is Upon Us

I’m sorry to use the term “LAX Bro,” but I just love using it to piss people off.

It is almost that time of the year to go beat the crap out of people with metal poles and have some good old fashioned fun.

Lacrosse has been defined by Webster Dictionary and all other reputable sources as, ” (n) Lacrosse: The sport real men play during baseball season, (v) To Lacrosse: The act of beating opponents with metal alloy sticks whilst others throw leather balls into leather mitts and slide in dirt because dirt is fun.”

If you would like to check up on that I urge you not to because I would hope you trust me enough to know that’s true.

Lacrosse combines aspects of basketball, soccer, and hockey.

It is the sport of all sports, while it is not my favorite sport to play it comes in 2nd due to a 3 way tie between Football and Ice Hockey.

Lacrosse is raw.

Lacrosse is mean.

Lacrosse is what is up my friend.

Last year was my first season and I was just learning the ropes.

I chose to play defense because I enjoyed the idea of holding a 6 foot long metal stick that I can beat people with.

It is so hard to talk about lacrosse without billions of sexual innuendoes going through your head, but bear with me people.

I didn’t have the most outstanding performance last season because I had to think about every action so much that by the time I had thought it through the attacker had passed me.

This season I hope it goes much better.

I am very excited to get out there and lay some people out.

The feeling of a nice shoulder into someone giving them your energy so they can transfer it into the ground which the shortly meet after seeing me, is just so nice.

Then when the play is over and they are still down, you walk over and offer a helping hand because I don’t want to hurt you, but you aren’t going to come in my crease.

That is my new motto this year.

I didn’t exactly perform as such last year, but this year is the year.

During the lacrosse season I will also be playing my second season of ice hockey on Team USA, and I can’t wait for it.

Sadly I will be sitting out of my next game due to a slight misunderstanding of a rule, that I may or may not have broken, it is really up to interpretation, but any who, it is going to make for a tired Keaton, but hey it will be the best shape of my life so you gotta take what you can get.

Hopefully I will have fully recovered from this stupid influenza and pneumonia by next week so I can get my body back into working condition because at the moment I am not in a good position.

I rocked a nice 104 degree fever last night, and woke up without a fever all day until recently, but it will take me a good couple of days to get back on my feet, and hopefully the season starts after those days.


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