Drowning

“Swim deeper,” they said. “You’ll be able to breathe.”

I’m drowning – the water is swirling over my head, pushing me down and shortening my breaths. I’m told that I’m doing fine, but in reality I’m plummeting.

I’ve been told that this is normal, that everyone should be able to breathe when pushed underwater. However, I know that something’s off.

Maybe I can learn to live while drowning, and pretend that it’s as easy for me as it is for everyone else. But there is a solution, and it’s the realization that I’m ten feet under that helps me to get there.

When underwater, it’s easy to pretend that I’m above, and to fake it until I truly do well. I can either learn to live under the surface, or swim to the top. It is on the surface that I can succeed.

“Swim back up,” they say, “You can make it.”

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