why does it always wear off so quickly?
all of a sudden-
so blinding, exciting, and new-
but it fades and i see your true colors.
i see every mistake you’ve ever made.
i see how i painted you and i see how you actually are.
such a sad thing,
living off the infatuation,
going into everything praying it won’t end too quickly.
but it always does.
not knowing whether it’s a genuine sentiment or the excitement of the attention.
i ignore all of your tricks;
they no longer work for me.
when i start getting bored, i start noticing how you walk a little weird,
how you have a poor vocabulary,
and how you are much cleaner than i’ll ever be.
i pick you apart.
i don’t want to,
but my brain simply won’t have otherwise.
i can’t live a white lie.
it’s discouraging, you know?
not knowing if i have the complexity to be able to get past this.
am i interested or is it just the trick my mind plays on me only to result in a painful goodbye?
make a monster out of me,
probably one more week until i’m completely over it.
what’s wrong with me?
why can’t i just stay infatuated
both for me
and for you.