I’m not a very confident person, but I can say I’m pretty humble. I started to realize that the people around me always show off something they feel so proud of. There is nothing wrong to show others your success, but how they show their success will affect me looking at this person’s personality. I always don’t like the person who always thinks they are so cool or they just think how good they are at some area. I always feel so disgusted. For example, one of my friends from Taiwan he keep doing some gang signs because he watched some people doing it on TikTok. He just keeps doing it even he doesn’t know what that means. He just thinks he is so cool doing that, and keep doing the same thing over and over again. I mean I also do gang signs as a joke with my friends sometimes but I don’t know how he can do that every day. Speaking of being humble, I’m good at swimming and I also do it for my previous school team. At the swim races in Taiwan, I also broke the record, and be the fastest swimmer in the race. However, I never tell others how good I am at swimming or do some actions to get the attention of others just to get respect or admiration. I still respect those people who are overconfident, but I just don’t like it that’s all. What do you think?
Mondays are stressful. I wake up in my comfortable room in my house in LA. I throw all my stuff into a bag, inevitably forgetting something important. This week it was my Xbox. I then jam my various bags of shit into my truck and go straight to school. This week, when I got to school I was blessed to learn I have 3 tests on Friday, and that the 3 English essays I was supposed to be working on were also due Friday. It was also the first day of golf practice. I have blogged on end about the irony in the fact that golf, my leisure activity, doesn’t give me anything but stress.
I made it through the school day and found myself at golf practice, with a deeeeeeeeeep pit of anxiety forming in my gut. I couldn’t focus on playing and left halfway through practice. I had a talk with my friend schmogan (real navraj22 fans will get it) before I left practice about how he has used meditation to feel more in control of his life. When I got home, I was greeted with more stress. I had to entertain my grandparent’s questions they ask every day, “when do you hear from colleges,” “are you warm back there,” “did you have enough to eat.” It’s so annoying. That’s a story for another blog.
Anyways, that night, I did my homework, (none of those things due Friday though), and practiced meditation for the first time. I am using Calm, an app, with a 30-day introductory course. I am on day 4 and it’s going so well. I have been able to manage my stress so much better, and have felt like I am more in control. I got all my English stuff done early in the week and my Friday has been great. I just bombed 2/3 of those tests, but I’m not worried.
Big-up meditation yo.