So far, these past couple of weeks, I’ve been publishing very surface-level (and frankly, boring) writing. One day, I wrote a poem with the intent of posting it, but quickly decided against the idea. There is something so raw, and so vulnerable about poetry, that to share a piece can be both a creative outlet and an absolutely terrifying experience. But no one really reads these anyways, so I might as well.
TW: Eating disorder/self-harm. A couple years ago, my best friend was suffering from a severe eating disorder and almost died. This was the inspiration for a poem:
the bathroom mirror speaks
It tells her she is a slut, to “cover-up.”
or she is a prude, to “show more skin.”
It tells her, with makeup, she’s “trying too hard,”
or without, she should “make an effort.”
It tells her she is too big, too curvy, too small, too flat
– she is too much, not enough
It tells her lies and truth
and truth and lies
until she cannot tell one from the other.
instead of math homework, she’s adding up calories,
instead of breakfast, she’s chewing on the cuticles of her thumbnails,
instead of sleeping, her bedroom is a 24-hour gym,
instead of showering, she’s drying her tears,
instead of living, she just is.
the sight of her reflection in the mirror is enough to make her shatter
and when the voices overwhelm her own,
she drapes a cloth over the frame, gagging their words.
but It claws and crawls its way out from the glass
slithers into her ears and slides down her throat,
spilling into the cavity of her diaphragm.
now the words on the bathroom mirror are her own.
who decided her skin was a sin?
who indicted her bones a cage?
who determined her flesh as a source of release?
you taught the bathroom mirror to speak.