Category: general news

Stuff having to do with the news in general.

Werner Herzog

smackyjackjackLeave a comment

One of my favorite filmmakers, Werner Herzog, has somehow evaded my blog for quite some time.

Herzog is famous for two things: writing, directing and producing some of the best movies ever, and being absolutely insane. My favorite movie, Fitzcarraldo is a perfect example of both of those things.

Herzog decided he was going to make a movie about Carlos Fitzcarrald, the Irish-Peruvian rubber baron in the 1800s. Well, one of the main points of the plot is when Fitzcarraldo forces his crew to lug their steamboat over a mountain. That’s silly though because that would never happen and its obviously just special effects. Right?

Wrong.

In this monumental scene, Herzog basically gave special effects the finger and paid a bunch of Peruvian locals to actually pull a 350 pound steamboat over a mountain. Yes, he actually did that. That’s why it looks so real. Because Werner Herzog is absolutely insane.

Speaking of Herzog being painfully sincere, lets talk about shoes. Herzog was, at one point, a kind of mentor to the then aspiring documentarian Errol Morris. To motivate Morris to finish a film about pet cemeteries, Herzog bet Morris that if he ever did finish his film, he would eat his own shoe. Well, it was finished. And this was the result.

Finally, let’s not forget that time he was shot. Which time you ask? Oh right, he’s been shot multiple times (apparently for being to awesome for anyone to handle). Well, lets talk about the time he was shot during an interview and, much like Teddy Roosevelt, kept. God. Damn. Talking.

Herzog manages to justify rather well why he is the way he is. He says that to make a film of true importance, one must have experienced some pretty…out there things. He explains it all on his website for his film school.

I am the Monster

callmemaybe32Leave a comment

Coming up in the next few weeks play rehearsals will be ramping up so that we can give all of you lovely people hopefully the best show so far.

For the past few months the cast of Young Frankenstein has been working feverishly on rehearsing lines and risking ankles to bring the people of Ojai and beyond a great show.

By risking ankles I speak of course of my 6 inch high platform boots that I have to dance in so that I look like a monster…. yea that’s right I am the monster.

It is such a great part because I get to be on stage the whole time, and for the most part I just grunt and make people laugh.

This play is hilarious.

It is full of funny sexual innuendos that are very sly in getting in there, but a line such as, “what big knockers,” while looking away from a good looking girl, I mean come on, Dr. Fronkensteen doesn’t have a thing for doors.

These next two weeks are going to be rough in between late night rehearsals and still keeping up with class, but I have done it every year since the 4th grade and I can’t wait to put on another good show.

Come out and watch us on 2/21 and 2/22.

The Former Servant

frog3Leave a comment

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A man is disgruntled and angry.

Perhaps he lost his job to hate.

Perhaps not.

His intentions do not matter.

All that matters is the result of his action.

It’s a shame a once public servant.

Now, he harms the people he once swore to protect.

Why?

His actions are the signs of a mad men.

Now he is no longer respected.

He is feared and hated.

Through the mountains he roams.

Trucking along on his quest of evil.

Seizures and searches do nothing.

He is out their, true.

But surely he will be found.

Pay the Way

frog3Leave a comment

fefe

Warriors fight and die for a nation.

Never questioning the validity of their cause.

They act selflessly asking and receiving very little in return.

They die in the deserts, thousands of miles away from their homes.

Enduring unimaginable physical and mental wounds.

Limbs missing and soul shattered.

Yet never questioning the validity of their cause.

The nation and its leaders will never understand.

Their pay cut and for what, to balance scales.

No no its politics, the goal is to simply appear to solve problems.

The soldiers are cut, their sacrifices are diminished.

All they have given to a nation is forgotten.

American Guns

smackyjackjackLeave a comment

The White House just came out with this dashing photo of Obama shooting clay pigeons at Camp David.

I really love the way the White House is trying to look “pro-gun” by releasing this photo. There really shouldn’t have to be so much of an effort by the White House to try to convince so many gun-advocate dunderheads that their president isn’t going to come to their house and steal their guns when they sleep.

America has a weird fascination with guns. About 40% of Americans have guns in their house. This is one of the only developed countries on the planet where the citizens feel the need to own assault weapons and as many magazines as they can handle. There really is no reason for people to own these types of weapons. The only benefit of an assault weapons is that they don’t leave time for people to think in between shots.

Take Australia for example. My cousin, a police officer in Tasmania, came over to California just after the Sandy Hook shootings. He and his entire family really could not understand the gun laws here in the States. In Australia, no one is allowed assault weapons, guns must be kept in locked containers and police officers check to see if your house is suitable for guns. I asked him if there are many shootings in Australia, and he replied, “Um, no. Of course not.”

What a luxury it must be to live in a country where shootings aren’t something common. It really is not hard  to make that dream become a reality. America could take a page from Australia’s law book. This is something that can happen, it’s just a matter of how much people care about saftey.

The Season of the LAX Bro is Upon Us

callmemaybe32Leave a comment

I’m sorry to use the term “LAX Bro,” but I just love using it to piss people off.

It is almost that time of the year to go beat the crap out of people with metal poles and have some good old fashioned fun.

Lacrosse has been defined by Webster Dictionary and all other reputable sources as, ” (n) Lacrosse: The sport real men play during baseball season, (v) To Lacrosse: The act of beating opponents with metal alloy sticks whilst others throw leather balls into leather mitts and slide in dirt because dirt is fun.”

If you would like to check up on that I urge you not to because I would hope you trust me enough to know that’s true.

Lacrosse combines aspects of basketball, soccer, and hockey.

It is the sport of all sports, while it is not my favorite sport to play it comes in 2nd due to a 3 way tie between Football and Ice Hockey.

Lacrosse is raw.

Lacrosse is mean.

Lacrosse is what is up my friend.

Last year was my first season and I was just learning the ropes.

I chose to play defense because I enjoyed the idea of holding a 6 foot long metal stick that I can beat people with.

It is so hard to talk about lacrosse without billions of sexual innuendoes going through your head, but bear with me people.

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The Second City

Daphne PsaledakisLeave a comment

Over the summer, my dad had a business trip in Chicago, and I had nowhere to stay. We decided that I would go along with him, and while he was working I would wander around Michigan Avenue by myself. He tried his hardest to make it fun, and he did an excellent job.

I went shopping, which is always productive, often more so than you can afford. I watched movies in the hotel room, and went to Wow Bao for lunch every day (it’s absolutely delicious for those of you who have never been).

At night, my dad and I would go dinner somewhere new, and then to a movie or back to the hotel to relax. One night though, he really wanted to go see a The Second City show. I resisted, but my dad was determined, as he often is. I had never been to a comedy act, and I didn’t really know what to expect. I honestly thought the show would be filled with cheesy humor that wasn’t especially funny.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The Second City turned out to be one of the world’s leading comedy acts, and experts at improvisation. Their website advertises 50 years of funny, which is an accurate statement. I could hardly stop laughing the entire show, even during the political acts which I knew nothing about. The show was hilarious, and the humor was priceless.

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College

callmemaybe32Leave a comment

It is about that time in my life that college becomes a hot topic.

Where do I want to go? Where can I get in? Can I play sports? Do they have the sports I want to play? Where is it? How big is it? What do I want to study?

So many questions and ultimately all of these questions have to be answered to narrow down the long list of schools to one.

Recently I have been doing some research and I have started to look at schools so I started to put a list of schools together so it is all laid out.

College Location Sports
Texas Christian University Fort Worth, TX FootballHockey
Duke University Durham, NC FootballHockey
Stanford University Stanford, CA FootballHockey
University of Southern California Los Angeles, CA FootballHockey
University of Pittsburgh Pittsburgh, PA FootballHockey
Brown Providence, RI FootballHockey
Chapman University CA FootballHockey
Boston University Boston, MA FootballHockey
University of Denver Denver, CO Hockey
Vanderbilt University Nashville, TN FootballHockeyLacrosse
Northeastern University Boston, MA FootballHockey
Northwestern University Evanston, IL FootballHockey
CU Boulder Boulder, CO FootballHockey
University of Oregon Portland, OR FootballHockey
Johns Hopkins University Baltimore, MD FootballHockey

In the coming months I will be adding and deleting schools as I compare and contrast the pros and cons of each on the list, and as I discover other schools that will fit into my plan.

I am looking at majoring in either Molecular Biology, Human Biology, Kinesiology, or Sports Medicine.

I have wanted to become a doctor for a very long time.

I want to be able to introduce myself as Dr. Keaton Shiffman, having that prestigious M.D. at the end of my name.

My ultimate dream would be to be a team physician, working on the field or on the ice with the best football or hockey players.

I know that has gotten very specific, but I feel that if I stick to what I want to do that I will make it happen.

As much as I don’t think I will be able to come out of my school and play high level intercollegiate sports it is always worth a try.

The worst thing that could happen is I won’t play, but best case scenario my dream comes true.

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Equality in the Military

frog3Leave a comment

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This week something wonderful has happened!!! Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta has announced that (sometime in the near future) women in the United States military will be able to serve in combat roles. The United States has taken another step to become the pinnacle of equality it preaches to be.

Although women in the United States military have seen combat before, they were not officially allowed in combat only roles. The lifting of the ban of women in combat does not come without a catch. The Pentagon had said that certain combat roles will still be open to men only.

The Failure of an Assassin

frog3Leave a comment

Assassination is an interesting concept.   Assassinations are often carried out for political reasons. Recently in Bulgaria a young man pulled a pistol on a Bulgarian politician. Things did not go as planned….