Warmth of the Cold

I love fall. The sheer aesthetic of sitting by a window with warm glowing string lights, drinking some sort of hot tea, surrounded with the smell of books. The fact that it is finally cold enough to be wearing wool socks and sweatshirts. The feeling of cold air filling your chest from the inside, making your home feel so much warmer.

I have to admit, I miss the cold winters back home in Germany. Right now, it is almost freezing there, the leaves that are turning red-orange, some almost pink-purple, are covering the roads like a warm-colored blanket. The lakes are topped with a paper thin layer of ice in the morning, and windows and cars are frosted the way they would be in movies. Horses’ coats are becoming thick and soft, and cows are being brought from their pastures back into their winter barns.

Credit: view.stern.de

I remember how much I hated the feeling of biking up the hill to my house after school, watching the clouds turn to a darker grey as the sun set behind them, and feeling the warm air in my lungs being replaced by the cold, making my throat hurt by the time I got back home. But I always loved the moment I walked through the door, embraced by my jumping dog and the heated floor, maybe even a fire in the chimney. The best days were the rainy ones. Your house just feels so much cozier when you don’t want to go outside.


Credit: moondog.de

I miss that weather. I miss the grey skies and the rain-soaked lawns. I miss the muddy roads and paths going through the forest by my house. I miss collecting chestnuts with my friends and cooking them with their whole family. I miss being freezing cold with numb fingers and an icy nose. I miss how later in the winter the trees would look like they had been covered in powdered sugar, reflecting the grey-purple of the afternoon sky.

I miss my home.

And no matter where I’ll live throughout my life, no matter how many times I’ll move and find new homes, that will always be my first home. My family’s home. My real home.


Losing my hearing!?

Last week I had a cold that lasted forever. I had a runny nose and coughed a lot. It felt like the typical cold I’ve had in the past, so I assumed I was going to heal soon, and was not worried about it too much.

One morning I woke up and there was this noise in my ears. It sounded like the buzzing noise in airplanes. At first I wasn’t bothered by it, but it got louder as hours passed. After three hours I couldn’t stand hearing the buzzing noise, and didn’t know what was going on. I started to wonder if I was hearing it in my head or in my ears. Then, I started worrying if it was going to break my eardrums, since it was so loud. One thought led to another, and I started to think that I was going to lose my hearing permanently.

boat fairy lights fireworks
Photo Credit: Evelyn Brokering

It turned out that the noise was just caused by my cold, and was not harmful at all, but it made me realize the beauty of hearing. This sounds cheesy but I realized how beautiful sound is. Music, fireworks, friend’s laughter, babies crying, someone yelling your name from far away – all of these sounds are beautiful and I can’t imagine a life without hearing them. I am grateful I can hear and hope never to forget to appreciate that. 

Some Love for Rainy Days

There’s a certain thing I love about rainy days. Being able to take the day off to snuggle under a mountain of blankets and pillows. Breaking into the food cabinet for hot chocolate and marshmallows. Making a batch of warm, gooey cookies. Watching an old play and eating popcorn.

Driving in rain is so peaceful. Watching the drops race each other down the window. The rhythmic swipe swipe of the window-wiper. The drops making little thuds on the car roof. The heater blasting hot air like an invisible blanket.

Playing in the rain is so fun. Getting soaked from the puddles brought on by an endless downpour. Earlier this year, a group of friends and I had a water fight. We filled up buckets or cups or whatever we could find and just threw them at each other. It would’ve gone on for hours if it wasn’t for dinner. We looked like sad little puppies when we came inside, and immediately dried off.

One thing I love doing in the rain is going in the hot tub. I know, that sounds quite odd. But when I’m at home, we’ll turn it on and it feels so cool. The cool drops on your head and shoulders contrasts so much to the hot water keeping you warm everywhere else.

Even though rain can be inconvenient, like when a wedding or party has to be moved inside, it still is something I look forward to. The memories I’ve made because I had to stay inside because of the rain, and the memories I’ve made because of getting soaked by it, are ones I truly cherish. Sadly, in California, it’s drier than a saltine cracker and it rarely rains.

photo credit to: cdn.tripwiremagazine.com


No Chill

Although I knew California was hot, by choosing to go to school here I didn’t think I signed up for a 75 degree November.

Already insanely hot during the summer months, I was looking forward to it cooling down leading up to the holidays. Oh, how wrong I was.

As of right now, the high for this week is 77 degrees. In November! I don’t mind this weather, it’s actually very nice. But, it’s comforting in a spring sense. Not for leading into Thanksgiving!

At home, the high for this week is a warm 50 degrees and raining. Although I’m sure it’s miserable to live in 24/7, it sounds wonderful to spend at least a day in!

Photo Credit: wyckoffcomfort.com

I love shorts as much as the next person, but coming from the cold weather, I look forward to the temperature where it’s appropriate to wear sweaters.

When it’s cold out, mother nature creates a true wintery feeling, which is amazing to spend time in.


This past weekend the Juniors went on their class camping trip. Personally, I love camping. Some of the best memories I have are of camping with my family and friends. So of course I was excited for this trip.

We were told it was going to be cold before leaving, and so me being me, I packed my ski clothes. That was probably the one time I’ve over-packed and it’s been a good thing.

We left school Friday afternoon and drove up towards Mammoth, California. The minute we stepped out of the vans after our five-hour drive, I was glad I had stuffed my bag with extra clothes until it was bursting at the seams.

That night, we struggled to get our tent up in the dark. The tent poles would numb our hands, forcing us to take turns trying to set it up. It also didn’t help that the four of us had no clue how to set it up. But with help from our teacher, we were eventually able to get it standing.

The next day we took a trip to the local fish hatchery, which was apparently one of the largest rainbow trout hatcheries in the West. Or something like that. From there, we continued to a much needed trip to the natural hot springs.

Definitely the highlight of the trip right there.

There were two different pools – we called them the party pool and the senior pool. In the party pool they did belly-flops and covered each other in mud. My friends and I were not a part of that. We went to the senior pool (which wasn’t actually a senior pool, we just decided to relax and enjoy it) instead. It was so nice sitting in the hot water and looking at a stunning view, even if the water wasn’t exactly the cleanest.

After the hot springs we headed back to the camp and another freezing night. We attempted to make beef stroganoff for dinner, which didn’t work out too well. As soon as dinner was over we all crawled into our tents and sleeping bags and huddled for warmth.

The next two days we spent hiking. We hiked quite a ways the first day, and the second day we made the short trek to the Devil’s Postpile, and then continued on to Rainbow Falls, which was amazing.

The night after our hike to Rainbow Falls was our last, and we froze our toes off yet again. In the morning, we woke up, packed our bags, and loaded into the vans.

We took a small detour to Pie in the Sky up the road, and had some 0f the best pie I’ve ever had. The Pecan Chocolate Chip Pie was to die for.

After our detour, we loaded back into the vans for the five hour drive back to school – and some much needed showers.

Overall, the trip was fun. We may have been cold and hungry, but the things we did and saw were really cool. We also grew much closer as a class. It was definitely worth it.


LAPD Drugs: Part 2

I’ve woken up up cold an alone.

My head is thumping and my heart is pounding.

I can tell that where I am is hot, but I feel so cold.

I taste blood. My eyes have blindfold over them, but I can tell I can’t open my eyes.

I try to reach out, but my hands are tied behind me. I try to walk, but my feet aren’t on the ground. I am alone in this room, hanging from the ceiling. My clothes have been taken off, I have blood dripping down my face and onto my chest. I hear it drop onto the cement floor.

Drip drop, drip drop, drip drop.

It’s hard to keep my eyes open.

I keep fading in and out of consciousness. Swaying back and forth from this chain. I can’t move. I can’t scream. I have a sock shoved in my mouth to keep my quiet. I knew I shouldn’t have followed that stupid piece of s**t dealer, but I’m too f*****g stupid to leave something alone.

Now I’m in this room. Humiliated, naked, beaten, bloody, bruised, and cold. I have no idea if I’ll ever leave this place.

Tears mix with my blood and they run into my mouth, just being sopped up by this sock.

I can’t keep my eyes open, fading, fading, fadi……

Need to Skate

Seeing as the hockey season has been over for about a month or so I haven’t been on the ice as much.

The season just started this past Thursday, but sadly I had to bench myself and sit in bed at home sick.

Tomorrow night is the 2nd game of the season and I am ecstatic about lacing up the skates and going out to play hockey.

I honestly have not skated as much as I should have in this off season, but hey I can’t be perfect.

What I really need is to find time to start lifting in the gym again, but I have no idea where that is going to fit in.

This season is going to be the one, I feel it.

Last season brought some new faces to Team USA, myself included, but this season we have all worked together and we know what we are walking into.

It is time to get down to business and change the face of Team USA.

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