Public Embarrassment

I recently became my school’s varsity soccer goalie and was super excited for my first game. 5 minutes in, I got shat on. The other team’s striker shot a huge floater from outside the box. I saw the ball coming and thought I could get to it with ease. As I saw the ball floating in, I sheepishly backed up letting the ball hit the net above my head.

What a bummer.

I needed to have a good performance to guarantee the starting job and that is NOT what that accomplished.

Soccer Goalkeeper Jumps and Saves Stock Footage Video (100% Royalty-free)  34953853 | Shutterstock
PC: Shutterstock

The helpless feeling of the ball floating over my head. The swish sound of the ball hitting the net. The collective sigh of our fans and players. I heard and felt it all. I punted the ball out of the net disgusted with myself. Heading back to the bench I put on a show, slamming my gloves into the ground, taking off my shirt, throwing my shin pads. I could feel the judgment from players who were complacent in the goal and wanted to tell them to chill out, in fact, when one teammate gave me a glare and said something to me I just said “please shut up”.

Anyway, I have a game today and am hoping for better performance.


Sometimes I just contemplate random stuff.

It is hard to explain it in words, but it is like reflection time, thinking about

how unplanned and pathetic my life is. 

I pretend unconsciously that I’m doing well, but in fact, I know something’s not right.

I need to get my life together. I need to be more organized and planned.

I’m in a rush.

I will levitate from bottom to top again.

I need strong motivation.

I will try my best.

I will be the most successful one in my family.

pc: GameSpew

New Year, Improved Me

I started off 2018 with so many resolutions. I was going to lose weight and gain abs, keep straight A’s, save up all my money to go traveling, and I fulfilled none of those resolutions.

Because, whenever I make New Year’s resolutions, I make them so they’re far beyond my reach in such a small time. When I make huge goals, I get disappointed when I don’t reach them in a short time, so I end up quitting along the way.

So, in 2019, I won’t make grand wishes for myself. I’ll make small ones and I’ll keep adding to those small ones until I get the results I want.

Photo Credit:

I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions, but I do have small goals for myself I hope to continue through the year:

Write in my diary. I started writing in a journal at the beginning of 12th grade when I was feeling down, but I suddenly stopped when life got better. I don’t want to stop. I want to write about everything that excites, depresses, or even angers me. But I don’t expect to write in it every day because I get busy or just tend to forget, but I hope to grab my journal and write anything and everything whenever I remember.

Eat healthier. This doesn’t mean I’m gonna completely cut out junk food from my life. I’m still gonna eat my favorite candy and journalism snacks and stop at In-N-Out when I leave LAX. But I’ll also add more vegetables to my plate and avoid gluten when I can. I’ll add better foods to my diet without necessarily taking away all the bad ones.

Dedicate a little more time to playing guitar and piano.

Be more inclusive with my friends.

Work out more. Not full work outs at the gym, but small ones before bed. Sit ups, stretches, squats, etc. all while watching Netflix or talking over the phone with my friends.

Live life in the moment. I want to go to concerts and dance and sing my heart out in the back instead of hoping to be at the front for that one Instagram photo just to prove I was there. Laugh in the moment instead of worrying about the potentially inexistent consequences of the future. Wear the outfit I thought was cute though I don’t necessarily think I look cute in it. Find people who want to be with me instead of waiting on those who don’t. And live.

2019 isn’t a new year for a new me, but it is a new year for an improved me and that’s what I hope to do.

The Dailey Method

With summer (and graduation) just around the corner, I have been trying to get fit. My goal is to lose about 5 pounds and get muscle tone.

Well, this weekend was a good step towards achieving my goal.

This morning, I went to the Dailey Method in Santa Barbara with my friend Emmy for the first time. I thought this class would be a breeze but boy was I wrong.

The Dailey Method kicked my butt (or, if i wanted to use proper Dailey Method terminology, it had kicked my seat).

The Dailey Method is a system that combines barre, core, yoga, and orthopedic exercises. There are multiple Dailey Method locations all around America, although many are concentrated in California.

What drew me to the Dailey Method was the way it toned your body to keep it in alignment. I have scoliosis in my upper and lower back that often makes me very tense. The end result of this tough workout was, surprisingly, a more relaxed body. My back feels great and I am not sore at all.

I only wish that they had a location in Boston, where I hope to go to college. For now, I will try to go to as many classes as I can!

Please check out the website:

And the video:


Yesterday was the big huzzah. It was the day that would determine the fate of my summer. Yesterday, Thursday, March 31st, 2011, was the day I had been waiting for. And it was nothing short of disappointing.

I was home sick yesterday, but I still remembered, the moment I woke up from my slumber, to check my SAT scores. It only made my condition worse.

The screen read 650-reading, 670-math, and 620-writing. Goodness, it seemed as if my previous summer had been a waste. I had spent two months of pure studying for this one test and I had gotten a 1940. The colleges that I am hoping to get into require over a 2000.

I did remind myself, however, that I was sick that Saturday I took the test and the week following up to it. But a 1940? That is no exception.

I haven’t told my mom my score yet because I am afraid for her reaction. This summer, before taking my first SAT prep class, my diagnostic grade had been in the low 1900’s. My mom was very disappointed in me and I know that she will still be disappointed in my score if I tell her that after two months of sending me to classes, I have arrived at a almost identical score.

My goal for the SAT’s is a 2100. A 700 in critical reading, a 700 in math, and a 700 in writing. I know this is attainable because my scores (650, 670, 620) are not too far from my goal. But sadly, I will have to spend my summer not at the beach and having fun, but in a cold, isolated classroom, shoving hundreds of vocabulary words into my head in SAT classes. Oh goody, I just CAN’T WAIT!

RELAY FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

As you can tell by my all caps, exclamation marked title, I am a very happy, excited girl!

Last Friday, I organized a meeting for those interested in Relay for Life. An amazing 25 people showed up, almost a quarter of our small school‘s population. Yesterday, I announced that our school’s team has been made a Relay for Life website. A goal had been set for $500 to be raised by May 15. However, an overwhelming wave of happiness blanketed me this morning when I checked on our team’s site.

In just a span of two days, we raised $520 and trumped our goal with only a few people who had donated! $520 in TWO DAYS. Crazy. Tomorrow, I will announce our new goal of $1,000.

Words can’t describe how proud I am of my friends. Giving to the community is one of the greatest, most rewarding feelings and to know that my small community on the hill is giving back to another is fantastic. I can’t wait till May 14th comes to see my friends walk around the track in the name of fighting cancer. Until that day comes, I will try my best to keep our school inspired.

Lets Talk About Refs

Yesterday, during the match in which the greatest team in the world (Manchester United) defeated Tottenham Hotspurs, a very questionable call occured. I would put a video of this goal up, but the Footballing Government has removed it from the internet due to how controversial it is. Here instead is a description of what happened: Man U’s Portuguese winger Nani dribbles into the penalty box, gets pulled down by his jersey (an obvious penalty). Nani falls down, puts his hand on the ball and looks at the ref, who has not made a call. Goalkeeper for Tottenham assumes it is a hand ball and picks up the ball to place it for the free kick. Nani looks again at the ref and realizes that the ref has not blown his whistle. Nani then kicks the ball into the back of the net from the goalkeepers feet. Chaos ensues.

To most football fans, this was one of the weirdest moments they have ever witnessed. What happened in my perspective was a communications breakdown. The goal keeper for Tottenham (Heurelho Gomes) is from Brazil, Nani is from Portugal and the ref is from England, already there is a language barrier. Although the ref did miss an obvious penalty call, his non-call on the hand ball in my mind was the right call. As a referee, we are encouraged to make the game flow as much as possible while maintaining the fairness and safety required. Whether the ref blew his whistle or not, Tottenham got the ball, but by blowing his whistle he would have slowed down the game. In reality karma happened because Man U got the goal that should have come from a penalty kick. Now if I was a Tottenham fan I would not be angry at the center ref, I would be furious at the linesman. The linesman raised his flag when he saw the handball, which is his job. The center official however, get to decided whether or not to call it. Players are told to play the whistle because it’s the only thing that really matters. yes, he did raise his flag. However the ref made the right call and the keeper messed up. And anyways, Man U would have won even if they hadnt scored because…they ARE the greatest team in the world.