An Inner Battle.

Sometimes there’s only so much you can do when the world is crumbling at your feet. Despite the pain, fear and distress you have to fight through no matter what. Those down days we experience are for a reason, feel them, feel the loneliness, feel the hurt, but at some point you have to come out the other end, not feeling sorry for yourself.

Since my sister left I have felt down and weary. I missed England, I missed my life, I missed everything. As I began to climb into the deep slumber of regret and sadness I forgot about everything else. Not wanting to be where I was, everyday became a greater chore. My life in California became a chore.

So as everything slipped away I thought it was about time to suck it up and not give up the fight. Driving home from school, my windows wound down, my music blaring, the sky serenely blue, the mountains picturesque on the horizon and an eagle circling overhead, I couldn’t help but to love life.

Sometimes letting go is hard but you often have to realize the good things you have in the present to gradually push away the past.


The Art of Having Fun

Today I went on a school weekend trip to Los Angeles California to the Hollywood Walk of Fame and it was fantastic. Obviously it didn’t look like the picture above, but man do I love that picture!

I had such a great time walking around and looking at all the different stars on the floor and who they represented. While I was walking and looking at these stars I was also thinking to my self how some of the people represented were chosen.

But I think that my favorite part of this day was the Madame Tussauds wax museum. The sculptures are absolutely unbelievable. They were detailed to perfection. Even the eyes looked real.

To finish my day I went and had a GREAT lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, where I had the best four cheese ravioli I have ever had.

God I love my life!

What did you do this weekend?

Earthquake strikes Turkey

An earthquake of magnitude 7.3 hit Turkey on the 23rd of October. The death toll is going up, although the initial report is that at least 217 people died.

According to CNN, rescue teams are looking for people who are missing right now. The city of Van, located on the South East near the Iranian border, is suffering the most. According to U.S Geological Survey, the earthquake struck at 1:41PM and at least 350 people were injured. People are still trapped under debris.

Turkey is one of the countries subject to frequent earthquakes. In 1999, an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.6 struck the North Western area and more than 17,000 people died.

I’m hoping the number of victim will be as few as possible.

Ain’t no love in the heart of the city

Ya, it’s a title to a song. But, over the past few nights, this song has spoken to me. I have acquired a newfound respect for older music. Bobby Bland has reached out to me through the musical realm and has pulled me into the world of his genre of blues music. It’s beautiful and reminds me of where I’m from.

To silence a number of people who have asked, no I was not born in Philadelphia. However, I have been to the city numerous times and my family is from the area. I feel a certain connection to the city and its inhabitants. “Ain’t no love in the heart of the city” reminds me of that city.

See for yourself in this clip.



Ever left home, for a long period of time, worrying if your pet will forget you?

When a dog that truly loves his master, will always greet him/her every day at the door, like it’s the first time they have seen you in over a year. Even though you just went outside for 5 minutes to go pick up some milk. It is fascinating how much a dog will care for you, love you, and miss you. But for how long?

Well I recently had to leave my dog under new temporary ownership. I may not see him again for a very long time and I was worried that, he would eventually forget me and move on. This was all until I stumbled on to this video

Like a comment said “I had to punch the wall to get my masculinity back!”

Well after seen that, my troubles lifted and flew away.

Great to see that your animal friend can be a companion for a life time.

Just Like That

Confused. Miserable. Alone.  Scared.

So, so scared.

The worst how empty she felt.

Where was her mother, her father, her sisters, her brothers?

Was she in their thoughts? Was it only her?
Soon, she could think of nothing. Her mind drew blank.

She faced the white, chalky wall atop her tall bunk bed, the railings red and bright. Her lungs were heavy. One breath in. One breath out.

Was this what her 13 years of life had come to?

Another deep breath out.

She closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would take over. She whispered a prayer to God that someone would find her, that she might find herself.

How silly she was to think she was alone in the midst of this struggle. How narrow minded, how blind to the future she was.

Because beneath her, with an obnoxious rustle of the sheets, a skinny girl with young, wispy hair and her insistent tapping, made it clear that she was not alone.

And just like that, without words, the little girl gave her the strength she needed.

What is a team?

As I stood in silence, holding the ball waiting for the whistle to be blown so I could serve the ball, I had a thought. Or , I guess you could say I had a question.

What is a team?

The dictionary definition of “team” is: A group of players forming one side in a competitive game or sport.

Of course, I already knew that; but being on a team is much more than just being a group. My idea of a team is being unified, supporting each other, and trying your hardest for the benefit of those around you.

That is what I think of when I think of being a team.

A team captain‘s job – my job – is to make sure than each player is doing just that; making an effort to be unified, support others, and try their hardest.

When these things do not happen, I have no option but to accept the reality, move on, and try to do a better job next time so we act as a real team.

Even though we had a few setbacks within the team aspect of things, I’ve never been more proud to be with that group of girls out there on the court at Orcutt Middle School‘s gymnasium, battling the Orcutt High School Spartans.

Although they had much higher skill levels than us, each true team member put their heart into the game and it was the best we have every played as a team.

Even though we were not victorious, the varsity volleyball girls really learned how to be a team that day, which is all I could have asked for.