Author: smackyjackjack

The Rolling Stone is Wrong. Part Four.

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I’m almost done with these lists, I swear. However, there are still a couple of lists that need to be corrected. Featured this time in part four of this series is why their list of the greatest albums is wrong.

The Actual Greatest Albums of All Time

1.   The Rolling Stone says: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band- The Beatles

      Jack Beverly says: Pet Sounds-The Beach Boys

Slightly before Brian Wilson went insane, he and the rest of the Beach Boys made what can be described in no other way than a pure masterpiece. Wilson produced this album in such a way where all of the instruments come together to make one pure and unique sound that flows all the way through the album. I cannot emphasize how unique and incredible the production is on this album.

2.   The Rolling Stone says: Pet Sounds-The Beach Boys

      Jack Beverly says: Exile on Main Street-The Rolling Stones

This is quite possibly the greatest rock n roll album ever made. Even though the album was made by several British people, it sounds so authentically Southern and true. Songs like “Shake your hips” and “Ventilator Blues” are jsut a few of the songs that get stuck in your head after hearing them. Plus, this album has some of the greatest, and most rushed artwork in music history.

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3.   The Rolling Stone says: Revolver – The Beatles

      Jack Beverly says: The White Album-The Beatles

It’s pretty hard to find fault with this album, or with the Beatles in general. The only reason I had a hard time choosing this album over anything else they’ve done is simply because it’s longer. Rubber Soul and Abby Road were easy contenders, but, once again, The White album is just longer. It is a pure masterpiece of the Beatles, and truly showcases all the were.

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The Rolling Stone is Wrong. Part Three.

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I’ve already discredited the Rolling Stone’s greatest guitarists list and their greatest singers list, so I might as well keep going and discredit their greatest artist list.

The Real Greatest Artists of all time

1.   The Rolling Stone says: The Beatles

      Jack Beverly says: The Beatles

Hey! Look at that we actually agreed. Well, I mean, it’s kind of hard to disagree on this one. I mean, the Beatles just are the best. I really don’t think there’s anyone out there that would disagree with us either. I mean, who hasn’t heard of the Beatles? And who doesn’t know the whole chorus to “Yellow Submarine”?

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2.   Rolling Stone says: Bob Dylan

       Jack Beverly says: The Rolling Stones

       I know, this list is not very original, but there’s no way the Stones are going anywhere below number two. It’s kind of strange how a couple of English kids made music that sounded so authentic and bluesy. Still, one of the greatest debates to have about music is what’s a better album, Beggar’s Banquet or Exile on Main Street.  It’s Exile on Main Street, in case you were wondering.

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3.   Rolling Stone says: Elvis

      Jack Beverly Says: Chuck Berry

      It might be easier to say who Chuck Berry hasn’t influenced. His style of guitar and just pure excellence drove the Beatles and the Stones to their first hit songs. Just like Robert Johnson was the father of the Blues, Chuck Berry was the father of Rock n Roll. His music transcended racial boundaries for one of the first times in music history. But don’t worry, even though he’s in his eighties, he’s still playing concerts around the world.

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Yes. Yes you did.

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“We just messed up royally,” Mike D’antoni said about last night’s loss to the Wizards.

And yes, you all definitely did.

It’s not that I’m upset that they lost to such a low-seeded team, it’s that they lost to such a low-seeded team this late in the year. It’s kind of important for the Lakers to be winning right now, as it’s their last chance to get into the playoffs.

While we’re on the subject, the playoffs have become kind of a joke this year for the Lakers. If they make the playoffs, that’s when I’ll be done. Just making the playoffs would be like winning the championship (which is sad when you have four all-stars on your lineup).

Like I’ve said before, I’m blaming this catastrophic loss on whoever has been picking the coaches. I guarantee you that if Phil Jackson was coaching this team, they would be on a stupid win streak, and not the Heat.

But I still hold fast to my beliefs that the Lakers will make the playoffs. Utah just lost again, so I think we’ll get the 8th seed. But, after that, playing the Spurs won’t be too much fun.

The Rolling Stone is Wrong. Part 2.

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Several days ago, I wrote a blog explaining why the Rolling Stone’s list of the top 100 guitarists ever was wrong. Today I’ll be explaining why their list of the 100 greatest singers is wrong.

The Real Top 100 Singers of All Time

1.    Rolling Stone Says: Aretha Franklin

       Jack Beverly Says: James Brown

It’s kind of hard to throw Aretha Franklin off of the top spot, especially for the reason I’m about to give. James brown just had…more. Not only was he the greatest singer of all time, but he was the greatest showman too. He’s just everything a singer should be, times a million. I warn you, what you’re about to see is quite possibly the greatest performance ever. Take a seat before you watch it.

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2.     Rolling Stone Says: Ray Charles

        Jack Beverly Says: Aretha Franklin

If you look up soul in the dictionary, you won’t find it. Instead, in its place, you’ll see a big picture of Aretha Franklin taking up about half of the page. Aretha Franklin is one of those few people that when she sings, it just sounds so damn easy. It just sounds like that’s the way she talks. If music had a mother, it would be Ms. Franklin.

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3.     Rolling Stone Says: Elvis Presley

        Jack Beverly Says: Steve Winwood

If we were going with the most influential singers of all time, maybe Elvis wouldn’t be knocked off the top three. But, since its just the best singers, I have to go with Steve Winwood. Spencer Davis group, Traffic and Blind Faith are just a few of Winwood’s accomplishments. If I could only listen to one singer for the rest of my life, it would have to be this guy. He never forces his voice, and it just sounds right.

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The Rolling Stone is Wrong. Part One.

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The other day, I went on the Rolling Stone’s website for the first time. I usually just read the print version, but I went on the website to see what it was like. While on there, I saw an advertisment for a bunch of lists named things like “100 Greatest Guitarists“, “500 Greatest Songs” and “100 Greatest Singers”. So I looked at them. And they were wrong.

So let’s do some correcting.

The Actual Greatest Guitarists

1.     Rolling Stone says: Jimi Hendrix

        Jack Beverly Says: Eric Clapton

        What you’re all probably saying: But, but, but its Hendrix! Wahh how could you not pick Hendrix?

         Because Eric Clapton was born, that’s why. While yes, it is true that Hendrix has a much more unique sound when he plays, it’s also a fact that only one person has yet to hit a bad note playing guitar. Seriously, listen to any solo he does, it’s all perfect. Having been in bands like Cream, the Bluesbreakers, the Yardbirds, Derek and the Dominoes, Bonnie and Delanie’s tour group, Dave Mason’s tour group and even his massively successful solo career has made him the greatest guitar player ever.

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2.    Rolling Stone says: Eric Clapton

       Jack Beverly says: Jimi Hendrix

       Yeah yeah, get over the fact he’s in second. Jimi Hendrix was one of those people that took something that had been around forever and changed it to influence everyone that came after him. I really can’t say much more than that, just listen.

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3.     Rolling Stone says: Jimmy Page

        Jack Beverly sez: Robert Johnson

        I actually feel bad putting Robert Johnson this far down. In terms of influence, he’s higher than first place. His style has been copied by literally everyone on this planet that has ever played a guitar post the 1930’s. Rock n Roll came from this one man’s guitar. He was a God ahead of his time.

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Werner Herzog

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One of my favorite filmmakers, Werner Herzog, has somehow evaded my blog for quite some time.

Herzog is famous for two things: writing, directing and producing some of the best movies ever, and being absolutely insane. My favorite movie, Fitzcarraldo is a perfect example of both of those things.

Herzog decided he was going to make a movie about Carlos Fitzcarrald, the Irish-Peruvian rubber baron in the 1800s. Well, one of the main points of the plot is when Fitzcarraldo forces his crew to lug their steamboat over a mountain. That’s silly though because that would never happen and its obviously just special effects. Right?

Wrong.

In this monumental scene, Herzog basically gave special effects the finger and paid a bunch of Peruvian locals to actually pull a 350 pound steamboat over a mountain. Yes, he actually did that. That’s why it looks so real. Because Werner Herzog is absolutely insane.

Speaking of Herzog being painfully sincere, lets talk about shoes. Herzog was, at one point, a kind of mentor to the then aspiring documentarian Errol Morris. To motivate Morris to finish a film about pet cemeteries, Herzog bet Morris that if he ever did finish his film, he would eat his own shoe. Well, it was finished. And this was the result.

Finally, let’s not forget that time he was shot. Which time you ask? Oh right, he’s been shot multiple times (apparently for being to awesome for anyone to handle). Well, lets talk about the time he was shot during an interview and, much like Teddy Roosevelt, kept. God. Damn. Talking.

Herzog manages to justify rather well why he is the way he is. He says that to make a film of true importance, one must have experienced some pretty…out there things. He explains it all on his website for his film school.

The Week

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Well, a lot of stuff happened this week, so I’ll get right to it.

The biggest thing hat happened was probably the Grammys. I just watched it and wasn’t really impressed by any of it (other than Adele. Because Adele’s the best.). And I really have to go out on limb and say how much I hate bands like fun. It really makes me happy to see the Es-335 has made the spectacular rise in talent from Chuck Berry to the guy with the undercut in fun.

The next biggest thing that is happening this week is the ongoing Christopher Jordan Dorner caper. This guy was apparently so sick of the widespread corruption, racism and brutality in the LAPD that he has taken it upon himself to end the problem by killing the alleged offenders of human rights in the city. This fascinating story about a real-life “V” stems from his even more fascinating manifesto written by Dorner. His tales from working on the force with the LAPD are absolutely terrible. The LAPD, he says, hasn’t changed since the Rodney King days, and the evidence to his point is very convincing. I suggest everyone goes and reads what he has to say here.

Crossroads

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Well.

Every year it’s something. Some place and festival I want to go to. Three years ago it was Soundset, last year it was Outsidelands, this year its the Crossroads Guitar Festival. But, I get the feeling that until I actually go to Crossroads, I won’t ever be able to stop wanting to.

Crossroads is a music festival started for charity by none other than the wife-stealing guitar god Eric Clapton.

That name alone should make you want to go. But just in case it doesn’t here’s some of the headliners for this year’s festival; Jeff Beck, Booker T, (what’s left of) The Allman Brother Band, Gary Clark Jr., Robbie Robertson, Vince Gill, BB King and Sonny Landreth, among plenty of others.

The festival was started by Clapton and all the profits will go to the Crossroads Festival in Antigua.

Steve Windwood (one of the greatest singers ever) has made several appearances at the festival. Here he is playing one of the greatest songs ever.

Blind Faith should have stayed together. I said it. Ginger Baker needs to come out of hiding in Africa and play with those two again.

Other than the tickets being wildly overpriced, I won’t be able to go because this year it’s in stupid New York and its stupid Square Garden. A campaign needs to be started to bring it to LA next year.

And just because we should end on an awesome note:

American Guns

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The White House just came out with this dashing photo of Obama shooting clay pigeons at Camp David.

I really love the way the White House is trying to look “pro-gun” by releasing this photo. There really shouldn’t have to be so much of an effort by the White House to try to convince so many gun-advocate dunderheads that their president isn’t going to come to their house and steal their guns when they sleep.

America has a weird fascination with guns. About 40% of Americans have guns in their house. This is one of the only developed countries on the planet where the citizens feel the need to own assault weapons and as many magazines as they can handle. There really is no reason for people to own these types of weapons. The only benefit of an assault weapons is that they don’t leave time for people to think in between shots.

Take Australia for example. My cousin, a police officer in Tasmania, came over to California just after the Sandy Hook shootings. He and his entire family really could not understand the gun laws here in the States. In Australia, no one is allowed assault weapons, guns must be kept in locked containers and police officers check to see if your house is suitable for guns. I asked him if there are many shootings in Australia, and he replied, “Um, no. Of course not.”

What a luxury it must be to live in a country where shootings aren’t something common. It really is not hard  to make that dream become a reality. America could take a page from Australia’s law book. This is something that can happen, it’s just a matter of how much people care about saftey.

CASH

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This past week, my family and I got a new puppy. Strangely, even though I’ve had dogs as long as I can remember, this is the first puppy I’ve ever had. Also, it’s the first dog that has ever gotten along with other dogs that I’ve ever had.

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Right now the little guy’s about 10 weeks old. He hasn’t barked yet, which is kind of weird, but he doesn’t make any other noise either, which is fine with me. Along with being mute so far, he doesn’t actually have the best sight. He’s fallen in our pool three times, and off of the steps countless other times. But still, he gets around and is too damn cute not to play with.ImageI’m hoping Ca$h will be a hiking and camping dog. He can’t make it around the block yet, but I still have my hopes.

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