When I look in the mirror, that is all I see. Fat everywhere. I always look down and wonder how I got like this.
Over the summer, I worked out every day and ate well. People could actually see the difference and I was happy.
Now, I sit in my dorm doing nothing but gaining weight. I can’t even look at my prom photos because of all the fat I see on myself.
My friends and boyfriend don’t understand what I mean when I say I am fat. Somehow they don’t see it, but that’s all I see.
I mean, maybe I am the problem. Maybe my brain is messed up and that’s why I see myself the way I do. I have never been able to see myself as anything but fat since fifth grade. But, now, when I look back I know that was never true, so maybe I can only ever see myself as fat no matter what I do.
I wish I could look at myself and just see how I truly am to everyone else around me.
Maybe this summer once I go back to the gym everything will be different, but I don’t know if I will ever really see what I look like when I look in the mirror.