something has changed.
colors are duller
even flowers look sad.
my eyes feel like a melancholy ocean,
and my cheeks the sand; waiting for the waves to rush on to them.
tears have replaced laughing,
smiles feel hollow.
my face has a different complexion,
more pale, more hopeless, less me.
my body feel lethargic, corpulent, and ignominious,
i am rotting from the inside out.
i have lost a part of me; the will to push, the will to continue, the will to strive
and it shows.
things that barely phased me are now barricades.
it’s hard to exist when you feel like you have nothing to live for.
oh me, oh life, oh self… where have you gone?