I hate that feeling of being alone, but for some reason I’ve grown to expect it. I don’t expect people to say yes if I asked to hang out or wanted to be my partner for a project. I don’t ever get mad at my friends for much, whether ignoring me, being rude, or anything, as I don’t want to lose them. I came to never hold grudges and forgive people easily, not only because what is the point of a grudge, but also out of fear that I’ll lose them. I’ve spent my years growing up scared that I wasn’t going to fit in in every new chapter. That people wouldn’t like me or accept me because I was bullied. I didn’t have many friends growing up and dealt with the same bully for 6 years. And once that girl left, a new one came; it always seems to happen this way. I can never escape this cycle. I don’t understand why people feel the need to bully. I understand we all have our own issues, but that is never an excuse to push it onto others. I feel like I’m always chasing that feeling of the end, waiting for that next chapter to escape the reality of the current moment.

PC: Author