Category: poetry

Anxiety

mariethearistocat

The feeling hits you like a bus.

The feeling is like an elephant on your chest.

The feeling inside of your stomach.

The feeling is like the shivers.

The feeling is a civil war.

The feeling is like a virus creeping around your body.

The feeling leaves your brain like mush.

The feeling is like a constant struggle for the upper hand.

The feeling isn’t normal.

The feeling is like a tornado, bringing havoc to your body.

The feeling, for me, never goes away.

The feeling of anxiety, of constant nervousness.

The extra fear is a constant.

Every day is a perilous journey.

From sunrise to sunset.

Constant worrying.

Worrying about school, grades, boyfriends, friends, family, everything.

There is no escape of this feeling.

Constant fear of the future and present and past.

Not just big things, but every, minute spec of life like a challenge to the brain.

It’s not temporary.

It’s not an emotion.

It’s not “just anxiety.”

It’s not okay.

It’s not fine.

It’s there.

It’s my constant state of being.

It’s how I live.

It’s how I was born.

It’s my mental illness.

It’s my little pain in my head, chest, or stomach.

It’s my forever.

It’s not part of me, it is me.

Dirty Feet Blues

kennyrooLeave a comment

I want to live a life with permanently dirty feet.

The assertion that one is obligated to be confined in shoes, at a job, where you sit in the same spot, and do the same thing everyday.

When I was younger I would play for hours on end without shoes on my feet.

I’d like to think of my dirty feet as an accomplishment. You’ve connected with the earth for so long that is has had time to change you.

The wicked cycle of an endless suburbia is keeping our feet much too clean. The same thing every single day.

Switch it up, take those damn shoes off — forget about your work emails for half an hour and take a minute to be alone.

Uninterrupted, just you and the earth. Breath it in. Feel the dewy grass tickle to spaces between your toes. Feel the rough asphalt grind away at your skin.

I would like to live a life with permanent dirty feet. In this technological age, people are seeming to forget that they’re washable.

You can get as dirty as you want because you can be cleaned. You can wash away the silt from your socks but you can’t replace the feeling of truly connecting with the earth.

Stop checking Twitter and take a look around. See the life that you’re missing out on being glued to the screen of your phone and go get dirty.

You’re too busy Instagraming at the tops of mountains for the likes rather than the memories and sense of accomplishment.

 

Whether you hold this true to yourself or not — this time we’re living in feels so artificial.

So, disconnect from the screen and go connect with what’s green.

Control

raining17Leave a comment

Lack of control, lack of consciousness. From a passing feeling of anxiety grows a larger, stronger sensation.

A pit embedded so deep in my stomach, sprouting vines that spread to the very tips of my fingers. The pit grows larger and larger, heavy as rock, hard as steel.

I pass it off as nothing. All in my head, nothing of significance. But this rock, this sensation, leaves me hyper aware.

Each movement shoots throughout my body, ricocheting off of every surface. Any tingle, shiver or prickle is felt in every nerve, magnified by my growing alertness.

And this greater attention leads to a realization, an understanding of this feeling. My depths are screaming to be let out, stopping at nothing to be heard.

I fall, deeper and deeper into my head; I am below the surface, unaware of the world around me. This pit, this feeling, is overtaking me.

The vines wrap around my brain, my eyes, anything they can grasp, bringing darkness to my world and shutting out any understanding.

My hands are immobile, unresponsive to my commands. These vines suffocate me, wrapping around my neck and my brain, squeezing tighter and tighter.

I have lost all ability to speak – to guide and to oversee. Dark clouds loom over my last drop of consciousness, obscuring my last speck of assurance.

I have lost control.

Photo Credit: http://www.markraymondmason.com

I thought the insult ‘Queer’ was dead already

stayhappy123

I was shocked to hear it. I really thought it had stopped being ‘cool’ a long time ago.

“That’s so queer.” He said, the first time, referring to someones Instagram account. I looked him dead in the eye. “Stop. You have no right.” But he didn’t. The words ‘Fagg*t,’ ‘Queer’, and ‘Gay’ were used several more times as an insult throughout the conversation. Eventually I left, utterly disgusted.

So why is it so important to stop using these terms like this?

Well first of all you may think it’s cool, but I don’t care how many bro-points you gain, insulting someone via their sexuality. But really, that’s only the surface of this issue. Yeah, it’s mean, but it’s so much more too.

Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect? So essentially, everything you do makes ripples. It goes a lot further than you thought it would, in a lot of ways.

  1. You make gay synonymous with bad. You make kids feel lesser for their feelings.
  2. You are furthering this insult, keeping the cycle going. Just stop.
  3. YOU ARE HURTING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY
  4. You are bullying. I do not care if you said it to a gay person or not. You are being a bully. End of story.
  5. 23% of gay or bisexual teens have tried to take their own lives and 56% have self harmed. You are an accomplice to these murders of young children who did nothing wrong.
  6. You are saying that it’s ok for millions upon millions of people to be degraded world-wide so you can… be cool? Grow up.
  7. You are creating a community that is unsafe
  8. Back to the statistics – More than 85% of LGBTQ+ youth have been harassed at school in the past year. You are making your school a place where kids may be afraid to attend.
  9. So, so much more.

So why would you use these descriptive terms as insults? Can you honestly not grasp the idea that there are other words out there? You want to be ‘cool?’

Buy a dictionary.

Photo Credit to: http://www.goabroad.com

Just Some Strange Feeling

kennyroo

Explaining how love feels is like trying to describe the taste of water.

It’s like trying to describe a blooming field of poppies to a blind man.

Love is something universally cherished yet doled out so sparingly by most.

This feeling – this fire burning inside of you ignites a burning passion that can be matched by no other.

Maybe we’re afraid of that ferocious flame being extinguished much too soon.

Ultimately, we all want to be loved. We all want to be wrapped up in mutual certainty.

How should I explain to you the warmth of a thousand suns? I can’t do just that, but I sure can love you and that feeling is almost the same.

Love is the most universal thing in the entire world.

You are here, now, reading this, because two people loved each other.

If I could make everyone feel the same way few have made me feel, I would. But that’s your journey to experience.

I’m only 17 years into my journey and I have yet to see some of the best days of my life.

And sometimes you’re going to be someone’s “something” while they are your “everything” – and that is going to be really tough.

But you know what? Life is tough. And so are you.

https://ovsjournalists.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/47351-holding-hand-kids-little-couple-balloon-cute.jpg
Photo Credit to: http://4.bp.blogspot.com

What is it

frog3Leave a comment

grgr
It lead us from the awful mud.
Take away and our body will hit the ground like a thud.

It lets learn to think and do.
It’s what separates me from you.

It lets watch the passing of age.
Its our actions become filled with rage.

It allows us to create life.
It gives our self-innumerable strife.

It allows us to feel the siting of pain.
It gives us the ability to feel shame.

When it is said and done it makes life hell.
Societies response is “ Oh Well.”

The False Shepherd

frog3Leave a comment

mn,,
Little Bo Peep, fat little sheep was once white as snow.

How it would, no one knew, and few could answer so.

Once it follow the shepherd whom guided it true.

Though need shear, the shepherd was told to shoo.

The sheep grow grotesque blackened by the time.

The shepherd still remembered when the sheep shined.

Eating fresh grass the sheep grazed lazily.

Would the wolf hunt it first one would wait and see.

Fierce and quick the wolf gobbled the once pure sheep.

Watching quietly the shepherd never spoke a peep.

Moment to Shine

enternity1030Leave a comment

If I have a moment to shine,
You are the one I shine for.
If I have the fate to fall,
You are the one I fall for.

The night filled with twinkling eyes
I meet you for the first time.
That’s the moment we share,
The moment of my life.

In the same century we live,
Under the same sky we admire,
I dig for every thing we share.
You are the theme of my life.

Beside the glowing fire I
Murmur, sadly
Your soft smile, glowing eyes,

Hide amid a crowd of stars.

Why even spin?

frog3Leave a comment

kmm

Rock green-blue floats in the sky.

Does it spin for nothing; or keeps hope alive?

When a speck breathes; whom decides to care?

When a speck dies; is he really there?

Fighting for rocks to power great things.

Is it worth all the pain?

The great ones have said yes and made it so.

Why should one toil, no one seems to know.

The heart will beat, decades will pass.

The heart’s beat will stop, it will never last.

Gathered around to see ones deeds.

Is that what a dead soul truly needs?

The Three Beasts

frog3Leave a comment

dfefef

On an iron beast that does not smoke.
Where it goes I do not know.

The ride took quite a bit of time.
I waited for the awful chime.

To signal where the ride would end.
Waiting for the Judas friend.

The friend was large and quite a whale.
He told us all to go to hell.

Lurching but staying on the same path.
Not wanting to face realities wrath.

Soon I and another got up and off.
On the last treacherous stop.

Another stopped once we were done.
And ended our terrible mechanical wrong.

A nice steed large and white.
Carried us into the night.