The feeling hits you like a bus.
The feeling is like an elephant on your chest.
The feeling inside of your stomach.
The feeling is like the shivers.
The feeling is a civil war.
The feeling is like a virus creeping around your body.
The feeling leaves your brain like mush.
The feeling is like a constant struggle for the upper hand.
The feeling isn’t normal.
The feeling is like a tornado, bringing havoc to your body.
The feeling, for me, never goes away.
The feeling of anxiety, of constant nervousness.
The extra fear is a constant.
Every day is a perilous journey.
From sunrise to sunset.
Worrying about school, grades, boyfriends, friends, family, everything.
There is no escape of this feeling.
Constant fear of the future and present and past.
Not just big things, but every, minute spec of life like a challenge to the brain.
It’s not temporary.
It’s not an emotion.
It’s not “just anxiety.”
It’s not okay.
It’s not fine.
It’s my constant state of being.
It’s how I live.
It’s how I was born.
It’s my mental illness.
It’s my little pain in my head, chest, or stomach.
It’s my forever.
It’s not part of me, it is me.