Lyrics i’m working on

I’m Stress out

What I do will never workout

What I chose ain’t gonna workout

I just wanna scream out loud

I’m running out of air in this empty space

believe someone will save my life

I just wanna see the light

I’m all alone

Everything I have now is gone

Thought this feeling will never be long

Always believe I will find my goldstone

Tears drop

Cry out

Fall down

Break apart

I just want to be normal, not the way you see me

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

Photo Credit: Lofi Aesthetic

strange little thing

I woke up late this morning, and everything just seems a little bit weird to me. 

I was eating my cereals with black grapes in it, and somebody knocked on the door. 

I reluctantly put down my cereal bowl and got up to answer the door. It was two package delivery guys with two gigantic TREES. 

Right, trees, taller than me, I saw two actual trees outside of my door. I even wonder how they fit them into the elevator.

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They checked the address with me, and that was correct indeed. 

I thought this is a prank from my silly friends or something. So I asked them who ordered these trees, and they told me that they didn’t know, they just knew they need to deliver them to here. 

I called my mom, and she said just put them on the balcony. 

Am I still dreaming? 

Anyway, I couldn’t just let two delivery guys wait too long. So I told them to put the trees where my mom told me. And then they left. 

So… now I’m sitting outside with these trees, and writing down what just happened here.

Spooky

Last year, something horribly tragic occurred on a large road about a quarter mile away from my house. In the early morning, around 4am a car crashed into a tree carrying four teens, three of them dying on impact. It was horrific, I didn’t learn about it until later that day. However, the night of the accident I had a horribly lucid dream in which I woke up in my bed and it was pitch black. The only reason I could see anything was because of the pale blue tint to the pitch black night, my windows were open and I could see out into my street. All of the sudden a shuddering scream arose in the distance, so prominently loud, accompanied by millions of other screams; the world was crying around me, falling into indescribable chaos. I was confused to begin with, until I could feel the feel screams shift as if they were a wave, the amplitude approaching my street, and it was in that moment that I completely froze. It felt as if every soul, petrified in doom, burst out in a thunderous cacophony of deafening terror, a vocal representation of the gothic interpretation of hell. I was unable to move. It felt as if the screams were searching, surveying the world for a single living thing, for me, and any movement I made would lead them straight to me. So I waited, I sat there and waited as the apex of noise approached, peaked, and as it passed I simply awoke. I checked the time to see if I could return to sleep and I saw that it was only 4:30 in the morning so I could get back to sleep, it took a while but I returned to sleep peacefully, although still bothered by the dream I just had. I woke up that morning with the dream lingering in the back of my mind but without much worry attached to it, so I went about my day as if nothing had happened, because to me, nothing had. We went out to lunch, on a different road from the wreck, and when we returned we came down that road where my father told me about the conversation he had with one of our neighbors earlier about the wreck and how it had happened there early in the morning yesterday. And as the words left his mouth the feeling of dread became so strong that I couldn’t speak. I just sat there dumbfounded as we approached the site of the crash where a candlelight vigil was being prepared.

Photo Credit; Depositphotos

Lincoln, an Immortal Legend

Last night I dreamed about one of my favorite historical figure – Lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln is regarded as one of America’s greatest heroes due to both his incredible impact on the nation and his people. Served as the 16th President of the United States from 1861 to 1865, Lincoln was the first Republican president in America.

Born in a poor cabin in Kentucky in 1809, Lincoln grew up in frontier Kentucky and Indiana, where he was mostly self-educated. In the mid-1850s, Lincoln left the Whig Party to join the new Republican Party. In 1858, he went up against Senator Stephen Douglas, in a debate for the U.S. Senate. Lincoln lost that election, but his spectacular performance against Douglas made him a contender for the 1860 Republican presidential nomination. (“Miller Center”)

After his election, Lincoln vowed to preserve the Union. He eventually raised an army and navy of nearly 3 million northern men to face the south army during the Civil War. One of Lincoln’s greatest achievements is the Emancipation Proclamation 1863, which intended to free the slaves in the South. “Although the Proclamation did not free all slaves in the nation, it was an important symbolic gesture that identified the Union with freedom and the death of slavery.” As part of the Proclamation, Lincoln also urged black males to join the Union forces as soldiers and sailors. “By the end of the war, nearly two hundred thousand African-Americans had fought for the Union cause, and Lincoln referred to them as indispensable in ensuring Union victory.” (Bio.com.)

Even though he was assassinated in 1865, Lincoln is still considered as the greatest President in American history on the moral and political character of the nation. He was empowered not only to uphold the Constitution, but also to preserve, protect, and defend it. Therefore, Lincoln is an immortal legend in human history.

I could not remember what really happened in the dream but I can clearly recall that he told me that he had nothing to do with vampires.

Airplane.


“Good evening passengers, we are about to take off. Please fasten your seat belts. Thank you.”

I take a deep breath.
Wherever the plane takes me, I will be excited because it marks the time for something new again.

I’ve taken numerous flights, and airplanes have become an essential part of my life. Not many people enjoy their time flying, but for me, taking a flight is when I feel the most content. The hours become more valuable as I watch them elapse in the air.

Time ceases when I am flying.
Peace and comfort devour my body, drive my mind flowing ethereally as the plane carefully moves. The window vaguely reflects my face.
Then I start to think about nothing and everything.

“Take care my honey. We’ll miss you.”
I think about my family, the people who cultivated me. I see their encouraging smiles with concealed tears. But don’t cry my dears, I have set off to find my own sky, full of challenges but I am growing stronger.

“What time is it in your city? How are you doing there?”
I think about my friends, the people who have accompanied me from felicity to frustration, from failure to success. But don’t worry my friends, remember you are never alone. We fight for different goals, but we share the same sky.

“Who am I? What am I doing?”
In the end I think about myself. I see a little girl running back and forth curiously, turning into a mature figure with determination and aspiration. I am just an ordinary star from the endless galaxy, but I strive to be the most brilliant one.

I think about my dreams.
My dream of becoming a journalist ignited on the plane many years ago, when I read a newspaper for the very first time. I was amazed by the amount and variety of information that a piece of paper could convey. The dream has never vanished since then.
Just like a plane, which erases the distance and serves as a bond between different cities, countries, and even continents, journalism embraces the idea of connecting the whole world.

The destination of a flight is determined from the tickets. You know you will get there eventually, but the process is exciting and full of glamour.

Mostly, the flight is mundane enough for people to fall asleep; therefore, most of the time, people would miss the grace of sunset, the alienation of midnight, and the excitement of breaking dawn.

But a flight is not always soothing, turbulence is inevitable.
The valiant plane, however, breaks through the choppy air and punctures the woebegone clouds.
All of a sudden, you feel the warmth from the glaring sun that shines right above, and I guess this is what I enjoy about flying.

I take a deep breath.
Once you are flying at 37000 feet, you have a lot of time to think. That’s beautiful.

Looking outside the window, I see my vague reflection, and another crystal world which at this moment, only belongs to me.
Life is a journey, so I keep flying.

Now I See You.

“One-two-three, turn; One-two-three turn.”

Following the beat, I watched myself in the mirror as someone else.

She turned slowly with caution and every movement she did seemed so fragile. She stepped forwards and then backwards so skillfully, as if nobody could trace her pace. Her face, however, was a little nervous. Everything was perfect except one thing – confidence.

Then the music ceased.

I walked closer to the mirror and tried to touch the person in it. But I couldn’t see her anymore. She faded away with my curiosity and hope. At that moment, I assured myself that one day I would find her back. And since then, she became my dream.

I was six.

A year later I went back to that dance studio with a group of kids who were much older than me.

I gripped my mother’s hands and I could clearly feel myself shaking with fear.

The first dancing class of my life was vividly impressed in my mind. I was the youngest dancer in my class, but the most talented, my teacher Ms. Li told me. I hurt so bad when the teacher stood on my both knees in order to stretch my legs. I hated Li.

Since then, my spare time was filled with dancing and Saturday’s schedules changed into a regular pattern with two hours dancing class in the afternoon.

I cried every single time before I stepped into the classroom to see Ms. Li. I was frightened by her serious face and the intolerable pain she gave me. But I would always dry my eyes completely and then turned to the studio happily like nothing had happened.

I endured all the pain and after class, I would always spent some extra hours practicing at home.

God, I wish I could be a dancer in the future. I did love dancing.

Two years later, I was surprised to see my great improvement.

“Thank you all for these unforgettable three years. You are all wonderful dancers. Now it’s time for you to put on these ballet shoes and be a beautiful swan. Don’t forget to think about yourself when you dance. Use your heart to dance, not your body. ”

Ms. Li sobbed a little when she left and gave me a smile and I swear that was the warmest smile I had ever seen. I didn’t hate her anymore.

I put on my pink ballet shoes. It took me half an hour to tie them well before I could actually stand up with them.

I was shocked. The person in the mirror was incredibly gorgeous. It hurt a little bit when I stood with my toes but all the pain vanished as I started to dance.

The music pushed me into a fantasy in which I was able to touch my dream. I spun around like an innocent swan.

I danced and danced, for a long time.

That was the most beautiful eight years in my life.

After attending high school, I could not dance as much as I did before. But the joy of dancing has never disappeared.

I am not going to be a professional dancer anyways, but dancing is still my dream.

Dancing was the only way I can communicate with my soul and whenever I feel upset, dancing would comfort me and helped me to forget the pain.

I learned a lot from my experience of dancing. I challenged myself and struggled to present perfection.

Dancing taught me about life. Dancing provided me confidence and leads me to realize that dream was not always unreachable.

Putting on my pink ballet shoes, I took a deep breath and said to myself,

“One-two-three, turn; One-two-three turn.”

Following the beat, I am trying to find myself in the mirror and suddenly a confident smile emerged.

Now I see you.

Dream.

Everyone dreams.
Dreams are successions of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

Dreams can last for a few seconds, or as long as twenty minutes. We dream about people, memories or something that are totally unrealistic. However, that’s the reason why I love to dream, because in the dreams, there is nothing to worry about and you can do everything you want without paying any consequences.

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Without You

Let it all fall down.

Let your hair fall down with the rain.

The water drops down your face, and make up or none your beauty remains the same.

Dancing in the grass while the heavens open upon us.

Like the scene from a movie.

Embracing each other while the thunder booms in the background, and distant lightning draws closer.

The sky flashes with purple and white light, but in that moment there was no other care in the world.

The ground could be falling around us, but all that matters is we were the last ones standing.

You and I together while the world crumbles away.

The rain douses the fire that rumbles below our feet,

Stuck, but not alone.

Never alone when I am with you.

The alarm goes off

Blindly reaching for the snooze button, just longing for another 10 minutes.

Another night spent with you.

Without you.

When the time comes that the world does actually fall away,

It will be you and I on that last piece of earth left.

Holding each other as it all crumbles.

Glass

I have always wanted to live near the glass.

Open and cold

Pure and nice.

Crystalline structures formed feet above the surface.

The glass is the only thing that serves a purpose.

Frozen water, a protector from the sub zero abyss.

The sun sets and rises and reflects of the face, until the heat comes then it’s a race.

A race against time

To finish through the line.

The Simple Dream.

I woke up with the bright sunshine and the hospital smell as usual. I got out of my bed and washed my face quietly, as usual.

I knew it was a new day though I still regarded it as yesterday because everything was the same. The same room – cabined and silent; the same color – chaste white; the same roommate – the man with obnubilation. He always told me that the reason we were sent to this depressive place was that we have so many dreams which could never come true. I knew nothing about his dream.

Every time he just smiled.

As time went by, he was getting older and older. I noticed that the man always sat in the sun, delightedly watching a flower facing to him. Whenever the time was, or how the weather changed, he always acted like the most faithful friend of the flower. Four seasons altered as the flower grew up from a bud to a delicate and charming blossom. The whole life of the old man was stepping to become withered as the falling flower. At last, he passed away peacefully. But after his death, I realized his real dream.

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