Shadow

It’s a snake. She’s black too, but the kind of black the night sky is. She’s dark. She’s vivid. She’s powerful.

She’s real. She can never leave you, and sometimes, you want her to leave you. She can be your strength, and she can be your weakness.

She speaks your mind when you lose it, she’s there when your sibling’s a bother, she’s there when you don’t understand something.

She fights. She will fight hard, and when you think she’s done fighting, she will fight even more.

Her enemy is Conscience. Conscience makes her mad, and Conscience makes her strong. She fights Conscience with all she has.

The longer she fights, the less control she possesses. She looses herself in an effort to protect, she grows stronger and out of control.

Fangs, venom, whipping tail, flared hood, she fights Conscience and eventually she fights you. Your body turns from heavy to angry.

She is Anger. Anger must be held back. She must be held back. Nothing can hold back Anger.

She rises, hissing, spitting, glowing, menacing, fighting Conscience and fighting you. She’ll fight you and everyone and everything around you.

DESTROY

Her Anger will infect you.

ATTACK

You will be a danger to be around.

KILL

You can’t fight fire with fire. You must drown it with water.

Imagine never finding water.

The Simple Habits

Throughout life you pick up simple habits. Sometimes they last forever, sometimes they last only for a duration of time when the situation has passed.

The way she pushes her bangs away from her face, though they’ve grown all the way out and tied up into a neat, workplace bun.

The way he hits the switch on the wall, though his younger sister is no longer afraid of the dark.

Habits can form for no reason whatsoever, yet they can be all the reason you change.

The way he sneaks out of the house at night, though he no longer lives with his parents.

The way she shuts her door all the way, though she knows nobody is home.

They aren’t really habits though, in a sense, it’s a part of their life now.

The way she clutches at her bag in the Paris subway, though there’s nobody around to rob her.

The way he checks for his lighter, wallet, then keys, in that order, though he has quit smoking three months ago.

When you loose a habit, that chapter of your life has ended.

The way he no longer reaches for his crutch when standing up.

The way she no longer holds her hairband in her teeth when tying a high pony.

Then a new habit begins, without you even realizing it.

The way she keeps her hand over her pocket to feel for her phone vibrating.

The way he keeps his head low, watching the ground with great care.

Handing Your Heart Away

Everyone has a heart. The heart is a clump of muscle imbedded inside your chest, hidden behind your lungs and ribcage. Upon first glance, upon first experience, you plunge your hand into your chest and enclose your fist around your heart.

You’ll keep your hand enclosed around that heart. Maybe you will release your heart, sew up your chest, then wash the blood off your hands.

Or maybe something will happen, and you begin to pull your heart out of your chest. Strangely enough, it doesn’t hurt. Just don’t pull too hard or too fast, you could bleed yourself to death. No, pull slow, allow time to clot, then keep pulling.

Who knows how long it takes until you can hold your heart at arm’s length? Maybe it takes two years. Two years sounds like a good amount of time.

Your heart is enclosed in your hand, pumping, pumping, slightly connected to your chest and the rest of your body. You look up. There it is. There is the thing, the person, the place, the reason you pulled your heart out in the first place. Blood soaks your footsteps so you’ll always know the way you came.

You have two options.

The first option is to cut your heart away from you body. Hand it to that person, place it on the ground, do anything that shows that your heart is no longer your own.

They could crush it. Stomp on it, squeeze it slice and dice it up. They could do anything at all and you could do nothing about it. It is no longer your heart.

You have another option.

Turn away. Put your heart back into your chest. Stack your ribs on top and peel your lungs back into place. Sew yourself up. The heart is yours. It will stay yours. Do not ever let it go again.

The secret for an easy life

Life is hard and it never gets easier. However, there is a way to make life simpler.

My father, a wise man, has discovered a way to make himself worry less than he usually does. He has stopped reading the news.

Not reading the news means he can stop worrying about problems he can’t change.

My father has chosen to be oblivious to the world and so far it has worked.

After all, ignorance is bliss.

Mundane Steps

hh

Trekking in the early morning, on a cracked road.

My feet do not step, but drag.

They are busy, hurrying to and from the mundane.

Isolated they step and dart through the mid-morning traffic.

And the people they talk, laugh, and cry.

Where they go, they do not care.

People do not realize what a mundane system it is.

You drive to a destination and get out.

For what?

To stare, to think, to buy, and to wonder

what is the point of it all?

Patroling Dawn

Clocks buzz and dawn breaks,

The child was not awake.

The child picked him up and took him far,

Down the street and into the car.

It drove down a meaty hill,

It did not have much time to kill.

Boards retrieved and no one forgotten,

Luckily the weather was not rotten.

A beach destination appeared in sight,

The sun was quite bright.

Children went in and boarded in the waves,

A wonderful start to a new day.

Cold and ice conquered the fun,

A surfing day had come undone.

What is it all for?

We look back to Neolithic age and see how simple the concept of what life meant to our ancestors was. It was all about the basics. Just enough to survive.

No social expectations, or rules. No technology, or government.

That same society has evolved in perceiving that life is about more than that, and life must be done a certain way. You must be educated. You must behave this way. You must be “civil”.

Well, who defined what that is?

Most  will say that the way of life is going to school, getting a job, having some kids then passing away gently in your sleep. We spend countless hours, memorizing and memorizing figures and representations we are told is our reality in order to achieve our goal of having an impressive alphabetical or numeric representation of our knowledge appear sufficient enough so we can attend school again.

And what is the purpose of the University?

Well, any dean will tell you it is to give students experience and knowlege so they can function in the real world, and do what they dream of doing. But when it comes down to it, what was the purpose of that dream? Was it to feel good at the end of the day, or did it all come down to achieving wealth?

Yes, starting from the day your parents nervously dropped you off at school for the first time as an eager child, the purpose of it all comes down to leading you on a path of financial success. Everything comes down to being about money. That is what we have evolved into.

I think reading J.D Salinger was a big mistake.

Image

http://humanorigins.si.edu/resources/intro-human-evolution

Dove

A little Dove chocolate told me to enjoy the small things in life.

This is a stage in my life that I need the small things.

With the stress of school, sports, and a social life, it’s the little moments that make it all worth it.

They happen here and there, but today for instance it rained.

The rain brings me great happiness. It cleanses the ground, but it makes everything clean and new.

Flowers bloom, and otherwise dusty hills become rolling green hills.

This is the entrance into spring that we have been waiting for.

The past few weeks have brought a lot of stress to an already stressful life.

One would think that having a single mother with multiple incurable diseases would cause stress.

Having her go to the hospital unexpectedly would seem to cause stress, but that is my life.

This is who I am, this is how my family works.

I can accept that my mother is sick and I can find happiness in the fact that she always comes home, although sometimes not without a fight, she has managed to make it back every time.

On this Easter Sunday I ask you to consider this.

I don’t care what your beliefs are, or if you don’t believe, but there is something on this Earth and beyond that has kept my mother here.

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Great Structures


A small sapling planted in the ground staring up at the sky and its giant sequoia brethren. Nature develops huge structures through light, carbon dioxide, and water. The forests of the world began as small seeds that became these massive structures.

This is a fitting metaphor for the human experience because everyone around us used to be a microscopic organism in the womb of your mother. We all have a personality and individual experiences, but we all started from the same place.

We built giant cities that rivaled the massive sequoias, built with steel and machinery, but in 200 years which will remain. Will the huge industrial structures of today or the ancient structures that are trees.

Sleepless San Francisco.

Last week for our English 11 Honors class, Mrs. Wilson asked us to write a personal essay about the site we wanna live. And all of the sudden San Francisco came out of my mind. I’ve been there only once, but I just couldn’t help myself thinking about it all the time. I want to live there.

Sleepless San Francisco

There is a place that I would love to leave my heart there without hesitation. My sleepless San Francisco would be the dream I want to keep even when I am awake.

Located on a peninsula between the San Francisco Bay and Pacific Ocean, San Francisco has its own definition of city – compact, busy, but scenic and comfortable as well. I would first arrive into San Francisco from the north via the world-famous Golden Gate Bridge, the place for a good start. I would be the first one to watch the born of sun, and enjoy the amazement of the golden sunshine.

Then my journey would start. When there came the noisy bells, the yellow cable cars would be on their way heading to me. I would choose to stand on the edge of the car and hold on to the handrail. “Ding-dong, ding-dong” – as the car drove, my hair would swing with the wind and the views would greet me as I passed by. Built on several hills, the roads are steep but also well-organized in a grid. The most exciting moment would be the downhill part, where I could experience a gentle roller-coaster.

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