I have been thinking a lot lately about what my future is going to be like.

Not as a grown adult, but where I want to go to college, what I want to study, and what about sports?

Thinking about what’s going to go into getting in to the schools I want to go to, and if I will be able to do it.

It’s a lot to be thinking about, there are so many choices we have to make even at the young age of 16, but I have realized the future is really up to me and how hard I want to work.

I have always been the kid who doesn’t put in the effort, and I come out with a few As and a few Bs.

I have realized I need to start actually trying to put in more effort to make it all As, instead of sitting on my butt when I have free time, maybe I should study more, and get work done before sunday night.

Maybe that means I can sleep more seeing as my schedule right now is crazy.

That brings me to the other thing I have been thinking about.

It was just last year that sports started to mean something to me again.

After 8th grade when I had a back injury that took me out of activities for 11 months, I had time to think and mature, and horseback riding wasn’t for me anymore.

I tried my hand at football midway through the season,  and while I wasn’t very good last season I was very happy I ended up stepping out there in my pads because it has changed my life.

I was overweight, and very uncomfortable with myself, but football changed that all.

I started to lose weight, and I started feeling better.

After the season I wanted more of that same feeling, so I wanted to start a hockey team at school.

I joined forces with two of my friends John and Jesse.

It did not end up happening at school due to a lack of funds, a big part of what went into it, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from playing.

I had played hockey when I was younger for about 5 years at the Toyota Sports Center in El Segundo, but in 2008 when my parents divorced I had to move to Ojai and leave that behind.

My first year in Ojai, when I was in 4th grade, I continued playing in L.A, but it got too hard to drive down there every weekend and I stopped.

I just recently began playing hockey again over summer, and I’m now in an adult league, playing every week and improving.

In the spring of last year I also tried Lacrosse for the first year which I loved as well.

I started seeing more improvement in my physical appearance, and I loved the game.

It is like hockey, soccer, football, and who knows what else, but it’s awesome.

Now recently I have been thinking how I can continue playing one of these sports in college, but I worry that with the little time I have been playing these sports at the higher levels there is no way in hell I can play in college, or at least the type of colleges I am thinking about going to.

I would love to play college ball, but when I am looking at schools like USC and Stanford I think about that fact that regardless of if I was the best player in my league, which I’m not, that still wouldn’t be good enough to play D1 ball.

I mean honestly I have played 2 years of 8 man football on a team that really isn’t great, and have very little experience, and I’m not that skilled, and in the college football world although I am large for where I play, I come at the small end of the spectrum there, even at 6’1” 230lbs.

I often feel trapped, like I’m locked in a cage that I can’t get out of because of my resources and where I am.

I wouldn’t want to change where I am, I love it don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I just wish I had stuck with one thing and been really good at it so I could keep it going.

I guess it is going to all depend on where I go to school, and what I want to end up studying, that happens to be the other big thing weighing on my mind.

For years I have always been interested in the medical field, especially surgery.

I strayed of that path here and there thinking about the veterinary field, film, or the culinary field, but medicine was always there.

Now within medicine, I have to think about what kind of medicine.

Do I want to study the brain? Maybe. Or maybe I wanna study molecular biology, a high choice on my list.

Now from there I have to choose the right school to facilitate what it is that I want to do.

I want to go to some of the top schools, but it is going to take a lot of work right now to do that.

And in those schools, of course I would like to play sports, but I really don’t see myself being at the level to play Division 1 or even Division 2 or 3 football or hockey.

I mean I can always play club, if it’s offered, but I really don’t know.

For now I will do what I can to better myself in sports and in school, and hope it all just falls into place, and whatever is supposed to happen will happen.

As long as I do my best now, I’m sure I will end up happy, and I know I have family and friends who will support me wherever I go.

One thought on “Choices

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