The Bane of My Existence

If I had power over the entire world, here are a few things I would banish from existence:

1. Mushrooms

  • Mushrooms are the bane of my existence. They are fungus. Fungus! Yet people still choose to eat these smelly, squishy, brownish-gray lumps of decay. I will never, ever understand these abominations.
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2. Moths

  • Moths are terrifying. I don’t care what anyone says. These papery, powdery creatures flock to lights and windows at night, casting ominous shadows and evoking nightmares.
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3. Donald Trump

  • I don’t think any explanation is needed here. Just banish him.
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4. Certain words

  • Some words are DISGUSTING. I don’t mean the definition, just how the word itself sounds when spoken. Take the words moist, ointment, stringy, and squelch. Now say them out loud. They just sound revolting. I hate saying them. I hate hearing them. I hate just typing them here. They should be taken out of the English language.
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5. Homework

  • This one is a cliché, I know. But let’s face it: no one enjoys homework. Not even teachers. It’s pointless. This mind-numbing, stress-inducing phenomenon benefits no one, and should be taken out of schools, and out of existence!
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