My room, 11:46: If you walked in you’d find me watching game film. I had a coke in hand so as not to doze off during the 4th quarter, and as I tried to find a comfortable position, my eyes were ever glued to my computer screen. Deficits of 13-0, 35-28 and 40-32 were erased as we fought with such resilience and the grit of warriors that even the most unemotional soul would have burst into applause.
When it got there, to the play I wanted, I rewinded and replayed until I was satisfied. I remember it as if I was still there. Ojai Valley School running “Duke,” a defensive play. Less than half a minute to go, 49-48 Thacher. Thacher’s guard throws the ball away, I hustle the width of the court to retrieve the ball before it went out. I get it, immediately pass to guard Alex Alvirez. The pump fake, defender goes flying by, Alex drains the three, we’re up 51-49. My Facebook status after the game received comment after comment describing the back and forth, come from behind win in their gym as, “intense.”
Day: March 1, 2011
You Could Be Happy And I Won’t Know
As we travel through life, through different adventures and different scenery, through the lives and impressions of others, we sometimes seem to forget our past in order to allow room for the present, as well as our future.
We recount past moments at the most random of times, as a glimpse of something causes us to recount a childhood memory or a time of laughter or love, heartbreak or sadness.
There are things we never forget: close friendships, successes, love, and regrets.
Lately I have wondered what a regret truly entails.
Of course I have made mistakes, and have wished I had said things differently, or maybe not at all. But what if I had switched “I hate you” with “I love you” or “no” to “yes” or “go” to “wait.” What if the one tiny moment was supposed to happen? What if that one little word changed everything? And without it, I would never be where I am now.
Maybe it is just an excuse in order to rid myself of the idea of what could have happened. But one thing I know for sure, I do truly miss you.
I miss your funny haircut, and your stupid smile, and the way you would make fun of how slow I would run compared to you. I miss your dimples, and your laughter, and your old, run down truck.
And if I had said something different that day, and didn’t let you go, then our lives would be completely different. Different friends, different school, different life, and I don’t know if I would ever be as happy as I am right now.
I know that we all have loved and lost, whether it be a loved one, friend or family member. And its normal to miss, but maybe if we do have regrets, we should look back and realize that each little moment truly counts, and even the bad ones are necessary in order to add up to something great.
Life may be full of uncertainty, but happiness is happiness, and all I can do now is wish you happiness too, wherever you are.
You have made me realize that I should never regret. And although I may have to let go, I won’t forget.
Promise.
Links
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/16/the-price-of-regret/?scp=1&sq=regret&st=cse
http://www.1888articles.com/how-heavy-is-regret-08ey7c8h84.html
My Two Cents
So many writers have blogged about image and the pressures to have the “perfect body” and how you should love yourself for who you are and how the world’s opinion doesn’t matter. All of this is true, but for some reason no matter how times we say it, we just don’t seem to get it.
As children we are usually raised under the impression that image doesn’t matter. Our parents always tell us not to judge others by the way they look, but how they act. “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, right?
We say that, but do we really mean it? You can tell a girl struggling with anorexia that she is perfect the way she is and then go to the bathroom, stare at yourself in the mirror and question your own perfection. We are all hypocritical and we all know it, but we don’t say it.
It has been brought to my attention that body image is a real problem. One thing that is clear is that it is a big problem here in Southern California.
Best Movies Ever?
With the Oscars only a week away, it’s high time to blog about movies. Out of all the movies nominated for best film of 2010, I have only seen three (The fighter, Inception and True Grit). The Fighter was by far the best. Christian Bale showed just how good of an actor he could be. That would have to be the best movie of 2010.
The Fighter might be ok for 2010, but there are other movies out there that could blow the Fighter out of the water.
THIS IS JACK BEVERLY’S FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL-TIME!!!
The best all time drama is a tie between John Huston’s The Man who Would be King, and Werner Herzog’s Fitzcarraldo.
The Man who Would be King is based off of Rudyard Kipling‘s book of the same name. It is about two ex soldiers who decide they want to become kings of Kafiristan. Spoiler Alert!, they do. As is that wasn’t cool enough, the two soldiers are played by Sean Connery and Michael Caine. Yeah. Those two are in the same movie. It may have caused a rip in the time space continuum of awesome.
Fitzcarraldo is Werner Herzog’s epic story of a rubber baron who decides to go down the Amazon in search of rubber. Before I go any further, let me just say that Werner Herzog doesn’t make movies about any wimps. Just read the first paragraph on his film school’s website…..did you read it? Yeah. That’s pretty much Fitzcarraldo. Multiply that by the craziness it took to lug a steam boat over a mountain and you have the film that is Fitzcarraldo.
Best all time comedy is Stanley Kramer’s It’s a mad mad mad mad World. This movie has every one of the greatest comedians of it’s time you can think of, and Ethel Merman. The crazy plot, and non stop laughability (I had to make up a word to describe it) makes it the best comedy of all time.
The best all time psychological thriller would have to be Christopher Nolan’s Memento. Usually, I don’t like many of Nolan’s films, but Memento was awesome. Basically, the film is about a guy who has very strong amnesia. He is trying to find out who his wife’s killer is, but he forgets what he does the day before. So, without giving away too much, he has to tattoo the clues he has found on himself. Pretty cool stuff.
The World (as we know it) is Coming to an End [[Pt. 1]]
It’s very hard not to get sad when thinking about the world and how horrible a place it can be. It’s very hard to remember the other lives that are being abused today, when my life is so easy. It’s very hard when you know you can’t fix these problems that plague society. It makes my blood boil.
Right now, people are living in fear. In fear of their government, in fear of their people, in fear of disease, in fear of something.
Burma, Southeast Asia, 2007.
Monks are holy and sacred figures, the symbols of peace and humanity in Burma. They are religious leaders who focus on the tranquility of life and don’t involve themselves in politics, that is, until the summer of 2007.
The political standing of Burma is corrupt, savage, and inhumane to put it lightly. The government, an organization of people meant to protect the welfare of their fellow Burmese, has caged their people and censored the news. Their goal was to disband people, to prevent civilians from joining together because two people are stronger than one, and 100 people are stronger than 10. Nobody speaks in fear of being taken by undercover government officials. Their voices aren’t heard. The people are mute. The people are afraid. The people are waiting for an answer, for a solution.
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